[Lost.in.the.pages]

Hi,

So I started therapy about 4 months ago. I found my therapist via the internet. After I had short listed a few, I literally just picked one and sent an email to arrange a meeting because I was too nervous to phone around and talk to a couple of them.

4 months down the line I am still with the first (and only) therapist I have had. It's taken a long time for me to settle down and not be so anxious about therapy in general.

My therapist is nice and all, but I'm wondering if my lack of exposure to different therapists means that I have no reference point to compare my therapist to / no reference of what is good therapy or bad therapy or even what could work better for me- as this is the only therapy I have experienced.

So I would be interested in some of your experiences in how you knew whether or not your first therapist was the right fit for you?

Also, have you ever 'tried out' other therapists while continuing therapy? Did you tell your therapist? Was it helpful?

I find myself curious about other therapists and what it might be like. I feel bad though because it's not that I'm dissatisfied my therapist. I feel like I'm kind of stuck with this therapist because I don't have a good reason to not see them.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I don't remember my first T. But when I went to the county clinic at 18, they assigned me a T. I didn't have a choice. She was an awesome T. She helped me a lot and I stayed with her for about 4 years.

I never searched for a T based on their type of therapy until current T. I just kind of picked the one I liked.

I think if your T is working for you, if it's helping, then stay with your T.

[stopdog]

I try out new ones all the time. I did tell the woman I was doing it. She never seemed to care. I never told her anything about them or them her.

[geez]

I took a break from my T and told her I wanted to see if there was another T that could help me because I was feeling stuck. She had no problems at all with me trying someone new. I tried two other T's. One was crazy so I stopped seeing her :-)

The other T was nice but I felt like she didn't have the skills to help me.

My original T I've been with for 8years and she gets me most of the time.

I would talk to your current T about how you're feeling. There is a lot that can be told about the therapeutic relationship in how you are in your relationships.

[Argonautomobile]

I have only ever seen the one therapist and can relate. I thought (still think) he was nice and all, but I didn't (still don't) have anything like that mystically good rapport that some people report. I didn't love him, wasn't in love with him, didn't feel he 'got' or understood me in any particularly deep or profound way. And I used to wonder if that meant something was wrong with my therapy or he wasn't a good fit or something.

Honestly, I'm glad I didn't go try anyone else. For me, anyway, good enough therapy with a good enough therapist was fine. It was helpful. I started to feel better. No sense in passing over a good thing just because there might possibly be a great thing somewhere out over the rainbow.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I try out new ones all the time. I did tell the woman I was doing it. She never seemed to care. I never told her anything about them or them her.

Me, too. I don't tell current Ts these investigations until the trying becomes something I want to explore in more depth (eg. see the other therapist for more sessions).

I wasn't quite happy with my first T but I kept going to him because I was curious (~a year). Until a point when it became detrimental to my goals, then I ended it.

I am fairly happy with current T, but still curious and I look into other therapists, other modalities... why not? It is a service we choose to use and pay for. I don't see why there should be anything to keep us from exploring whatever we like.

[CognitoSchiz1989]

I have seen therapist before. I don't like them. I switched to a psychologist just recently and she is the best I have ever had. I would look into psychologist. Way more schooling. Way more experience with the brain.

[ThisWayOut]

I've never really "shopped around" for a t unless the one I was seeing at the time was obviously a poor fit. That's only happened once or twice out of 19 years in therapy (with about as many therapists as i was seeing students a lot of the time). Over the years, I think I managed to figure out what worked for me, and what didn't. I don't think I would have known any better the first dozen t's or so...

Conversely, my wife has had some t's who seemed to do little to nothing for her. They neither offered much support/understanding, nor helped her with any of her presenting issues. She stuck with them in holes of gaining something, but after several sessions would simply stop rescheduling appointments. I'm not sure how much of that is her lack of investment in therapy (because she expects therapy to be something it's not?) Any how much is simply the wrong fit...

If you think it might help to interview other t's in hopes of finding a better fit, I don't see why you shouldn't. It may be worth taking to current t about your questions though. Sometimes a t's response to normal curiosity and questioning can give you very telling answers. I've only had one t get defensive and insulted by my questioning, and they turned out to be a really bad fit for me....