Really getting into 'it' now!

I had this feeling after last session, that I'm finally getting into some hidden stuff. I'm not talking about my big obvious traumas, I'm talking about the thoughts and feelings that make me, me and contain shame.
I've found as hard as talking about my childhood traumas were, revealing who -I-am is even harder.
I think for me that revealing trauma carry with it the thought that I was the victim - which as a child I was - and that people will in a way symphise with that, rescue me, have sorrow/pity blah blah. But to reveal my true adult thoughts, we'll, I'm no longer the 'victim' I don't always have 'wonderful thoughts blah blah blah.
But! Revealing this part of me was freeing! And where the honey is in the therapy pot.

After doing this, and it's taken 13yrs to get to this point in therapy, I had a dream that I revisited my childhood home. It was full of cobwebs and strange people. I could care less about the suited strange people - normally is feel less than - and the cobwebs I brushed aside of my childhood toys and was examining them with my granddaughter. I felt full of confidence compared to how I felt about myself as a child in that position.

I get what you are saying about it being harder to admit stuff about me, now, as an adult than to talk about the childhood stuff. You make a good point that then I was a victim. Now, I think I should act on my knowing better.

And what a great dream!

I don't really get the shame thing, but that does sound like a great dream!

I think either you've not had the life experience I've had, or the shame is unconscious.
I have lived with shame about who I am. Because I was shamed. I've internalized my mother's shame.
As I've delve deeper, the shame has emerged more so.