[AlittleUnsteady]

I am currently seeing my therapist twice a week to transition from being in a residential facility for 4 months. I have been having a hard time breathing when I try to go to sleep. It feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. In therapy I try so hard not to cry. There are times when I really want to cry, but look away from her so that I don't. I focus on an object and almost separate myself from what's going on. I want to be able to get these emotions out b.c. I feel like they're a lot of the reason I feel like I can't breathe. I wrote a note to my therapist asking if she could help me get these buried emotions out so I don't feel like I'm suffocating. In session today, she said we can do parts work. Talking about the different part of me, such as, the part of me that is fearful or numbing. She said that supposedly helps get emotions out. I don't know why I'm so afraid to cry. I used to see a therapist that would get me to cry just by looking at me and asking me what was wrong when I looked upset. I like my therapist, but I don't know why I still don't feel okay to cry. I don't like to in general, but I was able to with my last therapist. I'm not sure if it was because she was very comforting in the way she talked to me. Are there any other ideas on what I can do to make me feel more comfortable to express my emotions in session?

[AllHeart]

Sorry you are going through this. It's frustrating and difficult especially when you need that release of crying in front of a compassionate witness in order to feel a little better.

My t and I do parts work and it's been very helpful. The goal of parts work is to unburden the parts in you that are working hard to protect your true self from whatever it is they think they are protecting you from. I very recently went through a period where I suddenly couldn't cry in front of my t anymore - and I used to cry a lot, so I'll give you my example of how parts work kind of works. Turns out I had a part that made me feel ashamed, embarrassed, and weak in crying in front of my t because she had done something that reminded me of my mother. And I would never cry in front of my mother as a child because I would be shamed and threatened by her for it. So basically this part was protecting me from having to relive the shaming pain my mother inflicted in me. In unburdening that part with compassion and understanding, I'm ok to cry again in front of my t.

Parts work is a strange process at first. It's not easy work either. Sometimes it takes but a minute to unburden a part, sometimes it takes, well, let's just say a looonng time. But this work can be very effective. It seems to uncover the core truths as to why we do what we do (or don't). I hope you find it to be helpful and effective for you.

[Skeezyks]

Hello AlittleUnsteady: I'm sorry you are having this difficulty. I don't know how long you have been seeing your present therapist. It's possible, I would suppose, that this is simply going to take some time. Or it could also be that the therapist you're currently seeing is not the best match for you. Not every therapist works well with every individual who seeks treatment.

There is a Tibetan Buddhist practice called "Tonglen", which basically means "sending & taking". In this practice, we send out thoughts of whatever we imagine would be helpful in a given situation & we breathe in the pain, confusion, sorrow of the person, or perhaps animal, we're doing Tonglen for.

This practice can be easy enough if the being we're doing this for is a beloved family member, friend or pet. It can be difficult, however, if we're doing it for someone who has harmed us deeply. So one suggestion that is given in order to get the process started is to focus initially on someone, or something that brings up feelings of complete happiness in ourselves. Often this might be a beloved pet, present or past, where there exist no mixed emotions... simply pure affection. This will often cause a wellspring of emotion to come forth. So you might try focusing, perhaps on a beloved pet, or a person, for whom you feel deep abiding affection, as a way of "priming your emotional pump", so to speak. I wish you well...

[Fuzzybear]