[Annie13]

I had a really rough week this past week, and spoke about it today at my appointment. I've been going to therapy for about a month now.

My therapist said when I was feeling so badly, I could have texted her.

I never have before, and don't want to bother her.

How did u start texting your therapist, and does it help? I wouldn't even know what
To say without feeling stupid.

Personally, I wouldn't text a therapist except maybe something quick about scheduling, etc. I just don't get the whole idea of trying to have a meaningful conversation by text message. If I really needed to talk to my therapist, I'd call and ask my therapist to give me a call so that we could really hear each other's voice inflections, ask questions and clarify in the moment.

That's just me though.

[LonesomeTonight]

I've texted things to my T or marriage counselor like, "I'm really struggling right now" and maybe giving more info about why I'm feeling bad. And then they've generally texted back with some words of encouragement/understanding. Which has helped.

But be careful, because it's easy to have misunderstandings over e-mail or text, by reading something into what they said because you're not getting the tone of voice, facial expressions, or body language. I got very upset a few nights ago at something my marriage counselor texted me, and apparently I misunderstood his intent. Though part of it was that I was feeling really bad and just wanted support, but maybe wasn't clear about what I needed.

I've found that it helps to ask for what I need. Like, "I could just use some reassurance right now." Or "I just wanted to make sure you're not annoyed with me," stuff like that.

Hope that helps! And remember that if your T doesn't respond right away, it's probably nothing personal. Oh, and identify who you are in your texts because T's often don't keep clients' names in their phones (I confirmed this with MC). Like, sign it "--Annie13" or whatever.

[SoupDragon]

My experience is that it can make things worse for me. If I'm feeling so overwhelmed that I've needed to contact T, I've then felt increasing overwhelm waiting for a reply. What's helped me, is writing it all down in a "fictiinal" letter to T and then sometimes taking that letter with me to sessions.

[stopdog]

I don't text many people in general and I would not like texting the therapist - but perhaps it is my age (LG and I are around the same age)
I would call if I wanted response from the therapist or write a letter if I did not.

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T and I only text for scheduling, but we do email. I try to keep it short and simple. I state how I'm feeling, a little bit about why, and clearly asking for what I need in return. If it's an emergency, I call.

[Waterbear]

How did I start? I knew I needed to do something because I was spiralling downhill and so I wrote the text out and hovered my finger over the send button. I tried to ascertain whether I could feel any worse than I did and thought that the benefit of her possibly responding well outweighed the risk of me feeling a bit worse if she didn't. So I sent it. I felt better just sending it and my T responded well to my call for help.

I don't make a habit of texting T apart from telling her I have sent an email but on the few times I have needed a more instant response I have texted and she has been there for me just as I need.

Best wishes

[itjustis]

From my personal experience I wouldn't text a T. For me it heightened my attachment and dependancy. If I didn't get a reply I would think she didn't like me, didn't care etc.
Then when the boundaries changed regarding outside contact I felt the pain of it and it unearthed a whole lot of new feelings - mainly negative towards my T and I would lash out at her.
She handled it extremely well and we've come out of the other end...nearly!

I'm still struggling with lack of contact now and we have to terminate next month because she will be my tutor in January.

It's not worth the pain or frustration in my experience. Outside contact is muddy water territory!

[ilikecats]

My T and I text sometimes. Sometimes it's for scheduling things, and sometimes it's because I'm not feeling well. Usually if I don't feel good, I text and ask if we can talk on the phone. Then my T responds and usually she is able to talk. We don't do deep conversations over text, and I'm glad. But using text to ask if we can talk on the phone is very helpful for me.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by Annie13

I had a really rough week this past week, and spoke about it today at my appointment. I've been going to therapy for about a month now.

My therapist said when I was feeling so badly, I could have texted her.

I never have before, and don't want to bother her.

How did u start texting your therapist, and does it help? I wouldn't even know what
To say without feeling stupid.

I had the okay to text and frankly I'm not sure when I started and how I started. Although I know that rules changed and then it became a mess. Eventually it was more of an issue than anything else. She would respond to certain texts and not others. There was no rhyme or reason. Towards the end she responded to nothing and if anything she became defensive in session and said that I was rude. It was a whole miscommunication issue. It didn't have to be that way and in the first two years we were okay. I wouldn't recommend it and I wouldn't rely on it. Then again perhaps it'll work well for you. So much could be misinterpreted. Then there are boundary issues. It can either serve as a tool or be a crutch.

How to think of it I believe it was uggested by her to be used for things that u couldn't express in session. I'm better at expressing myself through writing than verbalizing.

[junkDNA]

i think he texted me first