[tranquility]

I've been dealing with a bit of "stuff" with my sister recently discovering her husband is having an affair and they are now getting a divorce. The problem is that my sister doesn't want it, so any little nice thing from him she takes as a sign that he may want to work it out - and he doesn't. The she comes in crying and it just kills me to see her so hurt.

I went to my hypnotherapist tonight and we talked first. I expressed that I was getting the head crazies. I pinpointed that I have been eating things I shouldn't recently and today I had a cup of coffee. Now most people would say big deal, but I'm an alcoholic and coffee is like alcohol for me. I hadn't had a cup since April 1st.

After talking a bit I was able to pinpoint that my stress is to see her so hurt and she is stalling on getting a lawyer, kicking him out, and that she doesn't have enough self-esteem to stop allowing him to treat her like this.

We did a hypnotherapy session where he worked around my lack of sleep, turning to food and coffee, and how I need to take care of myself as well as do my best for her.

I "woke" up in tears. But I was able to identify two things. First that I still feel I don't deserve to take care of myself and I should do for others instead. He made a good point "if you wear yourself out and end up in the hospital would that be helpful to her?" Of course not. My friend always says it's like when your on the plane and they tell you in an emergency to put oxygen on yourself first and then take care of your child.

The second thing was that that I wish I could fix it - that it just breaks my heart to see her cry. We were raised not to cry, actually we were raised not to show much emotion. So when my sister cries it hurts so much and I just want to make it better.

He pointed out that I am doint everything I can and that I can't make her work faster through this - it's got to be at her pace.

But the one connection I made was that prior to doing the hypnosis I was VERY angry. Especially with her husband and how I just want to spit in his face. He asked what the result would be if I did it and I told him there would be no good in it and I would only feel good for a split second.

So the connection is that when I get very angry it's because I really need to cry and accept whatever pain, sadness, etc I'm going through at the time.

It was hard but it's moving me in the right direction.

Tranquility

[Perna]

Tranquility, great associations/things to learn! I do the same thing; when I realize I'm angry I have trained myself to immediately stop and see what is making me anxious/unhappy. Usually I'm feeling "helpless" somewhere because a loved one is having a problem or I'm having a problem I haven't figured out yet how to work on. I almost "like" getting angry now because I know what to do to help resolve it.

[tranquility]

Thanks Perna - it's good to see someone else who works in this manner too!