[Electric76]

I found this question in an assessment packet for therapists to fill about clients: "Does the client talk at you? Through you? Beyond you? With you?"

I shared this with T, and that I feel bad for not giving her eye contact. I want her to feel engaged and not like I'm just talking to myself in her presence. She knew exactly what I was quoting. Then she gave me a really sweet response that she does feel connected and like Im talking *with* her. Now I'm understanding its not just eye contact that determines your style. What is it then?

How do you usually speak in relation to T? What do you make of that? Also what do you imagine talking "through" or "beyond" meaning?

I think all of these can happen.all part of the work.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

I talk at my T when I'm listing all of the bad things that have happened in the past week. I talk through my T when I am choked up or can't find the right words, but she somehow seems to find them for me. I talked with my T as much as possible, as we are a team trying to figure out the best solution for my mental health. I don't feel like I talk beyond T. My best guess would be when I speak from a dissociated world and don't give her enough information to understand my unique perspective.

mostly with her

[Argonautomobile]

At, with, through, beyond--and all the other prepositions, too. Changes with the moment. Good question!

[therapyishelping777]

I'd say with its a two way conversation,my issues, and thoughts ,emotions etc, but him giving feed back , tools and listening. and I'm listening to what he has to say and responding..

[unaluna]

He falls asleep if i start talking "at". I dont blame him. So thats my wake up call to either change or take a time out to collect myself.

[stopdog]

I would guess at the first always and mostly at the second. I tried with for the first and it was an unmitigated disaster. I have no idea what through or beyond would be.

I generally felt we were in dialogue together. The exception to that were those times that I was so depressed that I was in a state that left me nearly incapable of speaking. At those times my therapists worked really hard to speak to me and penetrate that depression which I realized later was probably pretty exhausting work. I was never one to speak "at" my therapists or "through" my therapists. If that was what was going on, I'm not sure what the point would be for me personally.

With her.

[MBM17]

With him, almost always.

I'm guessing "beyond" means talking as if the therapist isn't there. A few weeks ago, I did go on a rant for like five minutes and didn't even stop long enough for him to respond. It was more about what was going on with me. Talking "at" would be more like talking to my therapist without wanting a response, it seems to me, but at this particular session, I was almost not even talking to him, like I just needed a person and not necessarily my therapist.

My therapist is very interactive, and I like conversation, so talk with him definitely. I would not like the other versions.

My t speaks at me sometimes if I don't engage with her. I generally speak with her but sometimes when I get angry at something she says I shut down and refuse to engage with her. I have a client who constantly talks at me and above me. It's really challenging for me to communicate with her.

[runlola72]

My eye contact is sucky too. I'd say I talk with him sometimes, but also beyond him a fair amount. Like, I may as well be mumbling to myself in a corner, but then T interjects something and I'm snapped back to reality.

[DelusionsDaily]

I'm pretty sure it's with. I think there are times my T feels like she is talking at me though when I am in one of those states(stubborn and decision already made). At this point though she knows that I am listening and just need time to process what she is saying.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

. I have a client who constantly talks at me and above me.

What does above you mean?

It means over me, like she will always raise her voice louder than mine so she can be heard!

[stopdog]

So it means louder than you? or like you are both talking at the same time?

[ruh roh]

I record my sessions, so I think I can safely say that I talk at, with, and over (as in: she talks, and I start talking as though she is not saying anything). I hate it when I talk over her because I not only miss what she'd started to say, I don't even know she'd been talking. When I listen to the recording, I am surprised by the things she says that I never heard--some good things, too.

When I talk at, it's usually venting or reporting something that's happened between sessions and I'm just getting it out. I don't like my voice when I talk at my therapist.

Originally Posted by stopdog

So it means louder than you? or like you are both talking at the same time?

Yes, louder than me. Sometimes I will reply to something she has said but she will cut me off or talk over me.