These horror stories make me wonder....

This is more or less how I feel about it. I like my T, I'd be sad if he had to bail on me. But I think as long as I knew it wasn't about me personally I'd be okay.

If I thought it was about me personally I'd be less okay, I'd probably be pretty hurt and maybe angry. I know it can be really difficult for a lot of people, especially if they don't have a lot of stable attachments outside of therapy and have a hard time building up trust. Or if a therapist has made promises that aren't being kept, etc. That would be rough.

Maybe but conversely I'd bet there a lot of people who go through devastating experiences in therapy and can't bear to talk about it even online, possibly due to overwhelming shame, given the tendency to blame clients for failures. I think there are possibly a lot of silent victims out there.

In the past I went through a handful of different therapists and moved on with little drama. I'd have reported at the time that these therapists were mildly helpful, just to be a team player, but in truth they were all basically useless and consumed time and money.

my first t promised many times she would never ever abandon me/ leave me/ terminate- it would always be my choice.
hahaha.
liar
i guess she forgot to add "unless out of nowhere one night i get sick of you and decide to abandon you right then and there" (& and i still dont even know what i did wrong)

From all I've read about your therapist I do not think she would just abandon you. She seems to be realistic about things and also can admit messing up. I don't know how common abandonment is, but I really hate seeing it happen. It's such a painful thing to go through.

I don't think I purchasing a relationship, he just helps me to manage my psychotic and dissociative symptoms, like a dentist my theet problems. It's more 'personal' since it's sensitve stuff and I undertsand some people without boundaries could cross it, but for me, my therapist hasn't set any boundary, I just never crossed one or be neared doing it, Even once when I was in a crisis I didn't want to see him outise my sheduled session because I didn't see it as approppriate but he told me in this cases it is. Psychiatrist-psychololgoist-therapist, there is a service of a skill or technical knowledge to 'fix' your emotional, conductal, etc... problem. Unless we are talking about that kind of therapy that's about getting attached to the therapist to heal dysfunctional attachments, which I don't think it would work for me.

Dentist cannot have sexual relationship or similar or any doctor here either, it's the same rule, the difference with therapist it's there are patient that end up crossing boundaries or attaching to much as it were a relationship more than medical patient-doctor.

Maybe there are too many people in the forum with abandonment issues thhat needs to get attached to de therapist to fix that, but it's not true in all cases.

I felt a bit bad and missed a bit my old therapist because I felt comfortable with him, but It's as if I have a hard time finding a good dentisit, I find one, and he has an accident and can't continue being adentist. I didn't feel abandoned. My current therapist is 60-61 and will retire at 67, but I don't mind, by that time he would have helped me a lot, I would thank him with a cute gift and say bye.

-I am in the public social services so I don't pay anything-

Sorry for my english, too many benzos
and I can't remember how to speel worlds

I think the hardest for a lot of these is unkept promises. I hear over and over about T's promising things a certain way when that's not kept regardless of reasonability it adds to the pain especially in regards to termination, But even in sudden and drastic changes to boundaries. A lot of it done under a veil of best for client which is load of bull in most cases it only creates more damage and pain for clients involved and is actually a best for T situation.

Just because one experiences a bad T, doesn't mean they're all bad. Look at my case. I thought ex-T would never abandon me. I was very attached to her. But she did abandon me. Now I have current T who has been really good to me. I'm also attached to her. Of course, I could be abandoned again, but I don't think I will be. She's been very realistic with me, makes no promises, has good and clear boundaries, etc. We've planned out our termination and have even discussed what will happen if something comes up where she has to terminate early. And all the examples I hear on here (i.e. a T saying it's unethical to reinstate therapy after termination), I ask her about it and we talk about it.

I think if you have realistic expectations of your T, you will be fine. And if you have fears, talk about it. Be direct. Play out the realistic scenarios (i.e. what happens if you die? or what happens if you have to terminate early). Then you will be prepared.

I find the exact opposite to be true. Nothing made sense until i read other accounts and saw the parallels. When i was effectively used and then abandoned by a therapist i assumed it was because of me, or her, or the wrong approach. Nope. It was the basic construct.

Therapy gave me tunnel vision. Seeing big picture fixed that.

I think the takeaway when reading about someone else being abandoned is not -- musta been a bad fit, or what a bad T. It's -- that could happen to anyone anytime for any reason, precisely because of the configuration of therapy.