[Inner_Firefly]

Recently quit my job to fully focus on my freelance business doing what I love , a goal T and I have been working on for the past 8 years.

T helped me find the courage to take the leap. I couldn't have done it without her support.

Because there's no guarantee of income, money is super tight.

Last session, I told her I've been dumpster diving for food to save money, because I'm scared of running out before my business succeeds.

I pay $15 per session. To normal people this is nothing, but to me this means food.

She works at a non-profit where there's a sliding scale, but I'm worried she'll be offended if I bring this up.

She might think I don't value and respect her work. I worry she won't understand why I can "afford" business supplies and equipment, but not therapy.

I toss and turn at night, missing her and feeling ashamed for not having more money.

Last session was 3 months ago.

[gayleggg]

It's important for you to tell her the truth so that you can move on from the guilt. She will understand and give you an outlet to talk about your feelings of guilt and shame. She won't judge you. Give her a chance to help you through this troubled time.

[LucyG]

Instead of dumpster diving, go to the food bank in your community. Also watch for churches that offer free meals to the homeless and low income people.

Here's my take on therapists being that I'm an accountant. She's a professional you hire to help you. She's not your best friend, and while it's nice if you can be on friendly terms, you're paying her for her professional advice. You don't owe it to her to come back and pay her when you clearly can't afford it.

[Inner_Firefly]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

It's important for you to tell her the truth so that you can move on from the guilt. She will understand and give you an outlet to talk about your feelings of guilt and shame. She won't judge you. Give her a chance to help you through this troubled time.

Thank you gayleggg, You're right. I know I should. I've been always honest with her but this is so hard to say.

Originally Posted by LucyG

Instead of dumpster diving, go to the food bank in your community. Also watch for churches that offer free meals to the homeless and low income people.

Here's my take on therapists being that I'm an accountant. She's a professional you hire to help you. She's not your best friend, and while it's nice if you can be on friendly terms, you're paying her for her professional advice. You don't owe it to her to come back and pay her when you clearly can't afford it.

Thank you Lucy, appreciate your thoughts. I'll keep in mind I don't owe her to go back. The food bank and churches are too far but thank you for the suggestion.

[awkwardlyyours]

Have you checked out food stamps? Depending on the state I think, income-based eligibility is all that's taken into account.



I would still go ahead and tell T about it -- it matters not so much whether she continue to see you or not (although I hope she would) but that you express it and feel yourself heard.

[Pennster]

Originally Posted by Inner_Firefly

Recently quit my job to fully focus on my freelance business doing what I love , a goal T and I have been working on for the past 8 years.

T helped me find the courage to take the leap. I couldn't have done it without her support.

Because there's no guarantee of income, money is super tight.

Last session, I told her I've been dumpster diving for food to save money, because I'm scared of running out before my business succeeds.

I pay $15 per session. To normal people this is nothing, but to me this means food.

She works at a non-profit where there's a sliding scale, but I'm worried she'll be offended if I bring this up.

She might think I don't value and respect her work. I worry she won't understand why I can "afford" business supplies and equipment, but not therapy.

I toss and turn at night, missing her and feeling ashamed for not having more money.

Last session was 3 months ago.

I feel like most people would understand why you can afford business supplies and equipment, but not therapy. Your business supplies and equipment are essential for the future success of your career.

It sounds like it might help you to be honest with her. There might be resources in the community that she is aware of an can point you to. And if you are entitled to a lower fee because of your income, that has nothing to do with how much you value her work.

It sounds like you might be in a little spiral of shame, and maybe asking for help and being open about what's going on might really help you. She has been helping you for so long- I suspect it might help to have her assurance during this rough patch as well.

[ruh roh]

I had a really bad patch a few years ago and was technically homeless and unable to work in a structured setting due to my mental state, so I started freelancing but it took a long time to get off the ground--years, in fact--but I found early on that I could housesit and pet sit to earn food money, while also doing my other work. I took anything offered--started out with $10 a day to look after someone's cats and then was able to get more substantial and regular housesitting arrangements so that I basically had a place to live, just in a different spot every few weeks or months. But I could continue to do my work as it built up.

I had no insurance and no way to pay for therapy, so it was just not something I could entertain. In your case, I imagine if you told your therapist you're dumpster diving for food, she knows you're in financial straights. $15 per session is pretty awesome, even in your situation. That's why I suggested the pet sitting or house sitting. A little of that can pay for your therapy and food--assuming your freelance work is such that it can travel with you.

[Sarmas]

That's a tough situation. $15 a session is fantastic. Shelter, food, and work are a priority in my eyes. Therapy can be great asset to some people but if it places you in a more stressful situation due to the finances then that becomes an issue. At least you were honest with your T and she knows that you were dumpster diving and making every effort to go to session. I would speak to her about your situation which is already known to her.

[LonesomeTonight]

I agree that you should talk to your T about it. She might also be willing to put you on a payment plan, where you'd pay less for now, then once your business is going more, you can pay back some of the other money. I agree that you should look into food stamps, now generally called SNAP (name might vary depending on state). They generally just give you a card that's like a credit card to use, not literal stamps anymore (my aunt is on it). Dumpster diving could make you really sick, since the food might be spoiled. Try just buying stuff that's cheap that you can get a lot of use out of, like a bag of rice, dried beans, etc.
But please talk to your T. And I like RuhRoh's suggestions for making a little extra money for now while you get off the ground. I also do freelance (editing--not sure what area you're in), and I know it can be scary not having a regular paycheck, but it's also very freeing. Try to use any connections you have to get more work.

[atisketatasket]

I owe No. 3 an embarassing amount of money for our last four sessions. She's told me to pay when I can repeatedly. Which will not be any time soon. She may be kinder than you think, especially if you have faithfully paid before.

[therapyishelping777]

I had one therapist who gave one person at a time probono services, it was just her way of giving, you couldn't have more than 6 months per person. but that was realy nice. she knew I couldn't afford her fee so I got it for the 6 months.. that was really nice, then she cut me off , I couldn't afford her so went to betterhelp on sliding fee , and utlimately got a better therapist than her so it all worked out.. I would ask if she does any probono..

[Inner_Firefly]

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Have you checked out food stamps? Depending on the state I think, income-based eligibility is all that's taken into account.



I would still go ahead and tell T about it -- it matters not so much whether she continue to see you or not (although I hope she would) but that you express it and feel yourself heard.

Thank you awkwardlyyours, I appreciate your ideas and understanding. You're right, it would be nice to feel heard, it's just I'm not sure if she can hear me when she doesn't worry about money herself. If the situation gets worse I'll see about the food stamps. I'm not in the US but there's probably something similar.

Originally Posted by Pennster

I feel like most people would understand why you can afford business supplies and equipment, but not therapy. Your business supplies and equipment are essential for the future success of your career.

It sounds like it might help you to be honest with her. There might be resources in the community that she is aware of an can point you to. And if you are entitled to a lower fee because of your income, that has nothing to do with how much you value her work.

It sounds like you might be in a little spiral of shame, and maybe asking for help and being open about what's going on might really help you. She has been helping you for so long- I suspect it might help to have her assurance during this rough patch as well.

Hi Pennster, your reply is very comforting and helpful! Thank you for understanding why I'm prioritizing business supplies over therapy. I appreciate your thoughts. I'll remember your suggestions and try to be honest.

Originally Posted by ruh roh

I had a really bad patch a few years ago and was technically homeless and unable to work in a structured setting due to my mental state, so I started freelancing but it took a long time to get off the ground--years, in fact--but I found early on that I could housesit and pet sit to earn food money, while also doing my other work. I took anything offered--started out with $10 a day to look after someone's cats and then was able to get more substantial and regular housesitting arrangements so that I basically had a place to live, just in a different spot every few weeks or months. But I could continue to do my work as it built up.

I had no insurance and no way to pay for therapy, so it was just not something I could entertain. In your case, I imagine if you told your therapist you're dumpster diving for food, she knows you're in financial straights. $15 per session is pretty awesome, even in your situation. That's why I suggested the pet sitting or house sitting. A little of that can pay for your therapy and food--assuming your freelance work is such that it can travel with you.

Ruh roh, so sorry to hear you had such a hard time, I can imagine how it must've been to struggle with all these challenges. I hope things are better now. Thank you for your suggestion, it's a good one and glad it helped you. I just can't for now because my work is very messy and requires a studio, but I'll keep your idea in mind.

Originally Posted by Sarmas

That's a tough situation. $15 a session is fantastic. Shelter, food, and work are a priority in my eyes. Therapy can be great asset to some people but if it places you in a more stressful situation due to the finances then that becomes an issue. At least you were honest with your T and she knows that you were dumpster diving and making every effort to go to session. I would speak to her about your situation which is already known to her.

Thank you Sarmas, thank you for understanding, yes, $15 is a good deal, yet it still stresses me out, because I have so many extra business expenses now, and less income. So embarrassed...I feel like I shouldn't say anything, and just go less and less often. I just can't imagine asking for a lower fee, it feels greedy and wrong.

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I agree that you should talk to your T about it. She might also be willing to put you on a payment plan, where you'd pay less for now, then once your business is going more, you can pay back some of the other money. I agree that you should look into food stamps, now generally called SNAP (name might vary depending on state). They generally just give you a card that's like a credit card to use, not literal stamps anymore (my aunt is on it). Dumpster diving could make you really sick, since the food might be spoiled. Try just buying stuff that's cheap that you can get a lot of use out of, like a bag of rice, dried beans, etc.
But please talk to your T. And I like RuhRoh's suggestions for making a little extra money for now while you get off the ground. I also do freelance (editing--not sure what area you're in), and I know it can be scary not having a regular paycheck, but it's also very freeing. Try to use any connections you have to get more work.

Lonesometonight, thank you for sharing, glad to hear you also do freelance work and find it freeing. I appreciate all your ideas and good wishes. Your kind reply makes me feel less alone!

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I owe No. 3 an embarassing amount of money for our last four sessions. She's told me to pay when I can repeatedly. Which will not be any time soon. She may be kinder than you think, especially if you have faithfully paid before.

Your No.3 T sounds very kind and caring! Thank you for sharing and the good advice.

Originally Posted by therapyishelping777

I had one therapist who gave one person at a time probono services, it was just her way of giving, you couldn't have more than 6 months per person. but that was realy nice. she knew I couldn't afford her fee so I got it for the 6 months.. that was really nice, then she cut me off , I couldn't afford her so went to betterhelp on sliding fee , and utlimately got a better therapist than her so it all worked out.. I would ask if she does any probono..

Wow, your T sounds very generous. Too bad you got cut off, but glad it all worked out! Thank you for sharing.

[atisketatasket]

Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket
I owe No. 3 an embarassing amount of money for our last four sessions. She's told me to pay when I can repeatedly. Which will not be any time soon. She may be kinder than you think, especially if you have faithfully paid before.

Your No.3 T sounds very kind and caring! Thank you for sharing and the good advice.

Well, I had to have a similar conversation with No. 2 today, actually, and that was that for us. (Despite paying faithfully.) But your therapist sounds nice.