[Moreta]

So my therapist friended me on FB, so I went ahead and accepted the request. Feels a bit weird, but I don't contact her much so maybe that's a way of keeping tabs on me haha. I've already had my shaman as a friend since I started working with the 2 of them. It's not like my t posts a lot. her last post was in june. hell I find out about more personal info when we have our sessions. I really look up to my t and I want to be at a point where i can help people like she does one day. I don't want to be a t because I can't practice with the MI i have but I'll settle for a peer support specialist. i wish i could just hook into her brain and get all her knowledge.

Anyways, would you accept a friend request from your t?

No, I don't think I would, not that my T is a social media user, and I'm pretty sure he would not friend any patients if he did use Facebook. (Perhaps he does, but he seems to have a fairly sketchy notion of how it works so I don't think so.) He is very careful to keep his personal life private and I appreciate that, it works well for me to have it that way.

But I don't see any problems with somebody else doing it if they want to, and as long as there are no ethical issues involved.

Also, your user name always wants me to re-read some of the Pern books.

[Moreta]

Originally Posted by Crocus

Also, your user name always wants me to re-read some of the Pern books.

Do it! I really love the harper hall trilogy. Besides Moreta dragonlady of pern, those are my favorites.

[Waterbear]

I am glad my T doesn't use social media because I think it would cause me a lot of grief if she did. Grief of not being involved, as good as friends, wanted etc etc if she had an open profile and grief of close but unable to see more if it was closed. If she did have it and did ever friend request me (highly unlikely because even if she did have it I really don't think she would mix business and pleasure (ouch, that kind of stung me)) I think it would mess with my head and I wouldn't know what to do.

Originally Posted by Moreta

Do it! I really love the harper hall trilogy. Besides Moreta dragonlady of pern, those are my favorites.

Yes, mine too, as a matter of fact - talented people getting the opportunity to make something of themselves is a very uplifting theme. And there is a bit of wish fulfilment fantasy in the lonely-child-acquiring-people-who-care bits. (Plus there is no romance, or at least very little and easily skipped )

[Sarah1985]

I would but I doubt she would

[Sarmas]

I think every case is different and as long as the T and the client are okay with it then why not. I can see certain circumstances where it can become a boundary issue but that's dependent on the client personality and behavior. I know recently I saw my t showed up on the people you may know list. I almost freaked outthink get that I did something wrong. I definitely don't want to do anything to alarm her in any way. I still have her hndr my contacts and I wants sure of stupidly did something in order for that to pop up. Then I thought that if she showed up on mine then perhaps I showed up on hers and god knows what she's thinking now. Then I thought that perhaps she liked me up for some reason but that's very unlike her. Perhaps things popped on her side due to something. Anyway I wasn't sure so I did t "x" her out of that list in order not to create further thoughts. I just left it. She removed it though. I'm fine with whatever she does or doesn't do. It's all her and I just hang. Then I thought perhaps I'm just reading too much into this. Now I know part of why I started therapy. Anyone else would've said "whatever".

I would although none of my therapists are publically on social media; they have better boundaries than that. But I don't think it would be much of an issue for me. I don't have boundary issues with my therapists. I don't get overly attached or dependent on them. We are pretty open with each other, so it isn't like much would be revealed through FB that I wouldn't know anyway: he already keeps family pictures in his office and tells me about what's going on in his life, etc.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I would accept, but I already know she would never accept/request. She does have social media, and I can see some of her pictures. She knows I look at them. But we're not friends, and accepting me would allow me access to her personal life.

[AllHeart]

No I would not accept while still in therapy. This is one of the few boundaries t and I still have in place. Just seems too invasive, even for me.

Was the friend request intentional? I don't use FB but just asking because I've heard that the system can send out random friend requests at times. I received one of those on LinkedIn from my former T once. As for accepting or not... I would not accept it on more personal social media like FB. On a professional site, if we have a good professional relationship, I probably would, even more once we have ended therapy.

[bounceback]

I would ask her about it first to make sure it was meant for you.

[speckofdust]

I would accept, but I highly doubt she would ever want to be connected outside of the therapy room.

[Moreta]

It was intentional. She comments on my crafts that i post. I haven't had a session since august. therapy isn't over just taking a break because of finances. I still email sometimes, when i can't figure something out myself. She's fine with that. It's a real laid back relationship that we have. I probably know way too much about her and she knows everything about me, since I tell her everything. No sense in bottling stuff up anymore.

[itisnt]

I have to admit that this is one of those issues that really tugs at me in a negative way. I'm not saying that it's wrong for anyone to request and/or accept this kind of thing from their T, but it bugs me because of the issues it sometimes causes for people in therapy. For some, being "friends" with their T on Facebook isn't a big thing, they handle it like anything else because abandonment and/or attachment isn't an issue for them. But sometimes, a client is really really HURT emotionally when a T decides that "friending" their client isn't in his/her best interest and pulls the plug on the Facebook Friendship.

To me, it's kind of like Ts who agree to emailing and/or texting and then when things get overwhelming for them, they withdraw the "gift" that she granted. It causes problems and we've seen it over and over again here on this forum. I think that Ts fail to think these things through. They grant the friending, texting, emailing, out of session contact without discussing it fully with the client, talking about all the ramifications such a thing might cause. It's only when things go off the rails that they step in and set a boundary. I really don't understand why Ts in training aren't "schooled" in handling these issues in a more professional manner. It's fine if they think that emailing is going to be helpful to their client, but for pity's sake, why aren't they aware enough to know that this needs to be discussed and examined from every angle, AND EVEN THEN, it can implode and the T needs to be very adept in dealing with the aftermath in a skilled and compassionate manner.

[WrkNPrgress]

I'd be tempted to but I think I would keep that boundary. Plus, I don't think that would ever happen. My T also works with a couple of my friends, if she friended me and not them, it would seem... IDK like favoritism?

I did have an incident recently where a new friend of mine knew my T from some past job thing. She is friends with T on Facebook now. My friend was sitting next to me flipping through Facebook and kind of teasing me about showing me T's facebook stuff. I declined. T's facebook is pretty locked down and I felt like I should respect her privacy.

I wish I could be friends with T but that might be why I should not 'friend' her.

I would question the ethics of his boundaries. I certainly wouldnt accept and unless he had a 24 carat gold reason why he accidentally clicked on request friendship I would terminate.
I've been hurt terribly by poor therapist boundaries in the past and he knows this so if he did that I would find it disrespectful.

[BayBrony]

I would not accept though my T and I have a very close relationship. I think it would be too triggering for me.

[junkDNA]

my T would NEVER do that first bc boundaries, second bc he hates facebook

but i prob would

[TishaBuv]

My h saw a t years ago who friended him. He never interacted with him, commenting on any posts, but my h rarely posts anything.

I don't think it's appropriate. It blurs the line of professional/friendship. I also agree there are ethical and liability concerns about it.

[SilentMelodee]

Yeah, I'm sure I would accept it if my therapist sent me a friend request. but I don't post much on facebook anyway. I don't even know if she is on there.

[rothfan6]

I was going to ask this question the other day. I've thought about friending him but didn't know if it would be weird.

my t and i are friends on facebook.she asked me if i wanted to and i said sure.

[LonesomeTonight]

I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it, not just because I'd see stuff T was doing/posting, but also because she'd see all my stuff. And I'd be concerned she'd want to talk about it in session. With marriage counselor, I'm worried it would make my transference more intense or be painful if, like, I saw pics of him with his daughter, son, or wife. Actually, since I have some maternal transference for my T, it could be tough to see her with her kids/grandkids, too. At one point a while ago, I briefly tried to look for each on Facebook and LinkedIn. They both have fairly common names--especially MC--so they could have possibly been one of the ones not showing a photo, but I didn't want to investigate too much. Plus, MC is fairly tech-savvy, so I suspect he'd have his really locked down and possibly under a false/disguised name, too, if he's even on there.

If T is on there, I could maybe see friending her once she retired, but I recall her saying that social workers (she's an LCSW) are never supposed to become real-life friends with anyone they've treated, even if it was many years ago. So FB might be the same.

[rainboots87]

I had a former T add me at one point, and I hesitated in accepting. I was pretty attached and only stopped seeing her when I moved out of state. Once I accepted her though, I could see that she had an influx of newly added friends and it wasn't long after facebook added the function to add friends on your email list. I then sent her a message asking if she meant to send it. She clarified that it was an accident and said it would be best if we weren't friends online and unfriended me. I was disappointed, but not surprised. A few years later, I moved back to that city and saw her again for therapy, so it worked out that we hadn't stayed fb friends.