[Pink poppy]

Found online
First session was very nervous and it was a bit of a blur
Female about my age who seems friendly
Not sure on type of therapy
Only been 4 times so very new to this
No transference but very early days

I find it hard to talk so not really opened up a huge amount yet.

[Sarmas]

1. My at was my professor at first. She would discuss such things as her therapeutic sessions and what they consisted of as well as certain therapeutic relationships or interactions that she has encountered.
2. My first appointment I was super uncomfortable because of the adjustment in my had from seeing her as my professor at first and now my therapist.
3. I just went with the flow. I knew that she had all of the attributes that I wanted in a therapist. It was rocky at times but I pushed through to make it work at times.
4. I prefer a female. It's hard for me to open to males due to trust factors.
5. She was probably 8 years younger than I was but I wasn't concerned with that. I think if she was in her twenties then perhaps I would've had an issue. Age was never a concern.
6. She was an open person but seemed uncomfortable with certain subjects at times. I'm sure that if I forced the subject she would've just sat there and listened.
7. She practiced mostly psychodynamic and relational therapy.
8. We did have several transference issues of which we were able to get past. however, four years into my session things started to change. We had multiple "miscommunications". There was one big transference issue which I thought that she would've noticed being that I mentioned it quite often. She made a comment the one day which triggered me and I thought that she would've been more sensitive to the topic. I didn't mention it because our therapeutic relationship was already having issues at the time.
9. I was going to her for 4 years.
10. I've said so much in this forum that I feel Like my story is a nuisance. Nothing more to add.

[MBM17]

I love reading about all the therapy relationships. I, too, am fascinated by the inner workings of therapy. I feel like the discussions and descriptions of the relationships are spread throughout the threads, so I appreciate reading so much right here. I've had 13 therapists, so I'll have to figure out what I'm going to do about that and come back to this. It would be a novel.

[growlycat]

Just mentioning my latest t I nickname "Kashi" here on PC:

Foundonline search both Google and psych today. Found his website. All other contacts were either religious counsellors or female or too far away, didn't take insurance etc. Kashi's thoughtfully written first contact emails sealed the deal initially.

First appointment We hit it off pretty well the first few appointments. I am still having a little cognitive dissonance regarding his sexuality. He reads as a gay man to me but apparently he has a wife and kids and has called himself a cisgender heterosexual male. Whatever dude. I like him so that doesn't matter to me, maybe a little if he isn't being his authentic self. Maybe that would bother me

When we clicked we clicked almost from the first email but then three sessions n we had a rupture. It was a weird session where he seemed to forget my last name and why I was there. He talked to my old t's and its like he saw the light. It turned things around again in a good way

M/Fmale because my abuser as a kid was female. I have poor transference with female t's. Always had success with male t's

Age 51. Only seven years older than me, youngest t I've ever had that worked out

Style warm, gentle, humorous, kind and compassionate. Very outdoorsy and liberal which earned him his nickname

kind of therapy he runs a couple of dbt groups but also does Cbt with a rogerian approach to the relationship

Seeing him almost two months now. Been living here in my new state about three.

Ps transference so far nothing too extreme. I had a crush on the last one and not wanting that again. He feels more like a friend or an older brother right now. Still finding myself wanting hugs once in a while. But no off the hook fantasies like with my last t

[SilentMelodee]

I have had 5 therapists throughout my life. Two of them were chosen for me. I have now been in regular therapy for about 3 years, my therapist is a somatic experiencing therapist. I will always remember my first session with her, and I was terrified. Simply terrified. But we ended up hitting it off very well. When I started with her, I honestly didn't know there were all these different kinds of therapies, so when I found my current therapist (online, on Psychology Today), I chose her because of location. And, after having had a male therapist in the past, I knew I would want a female therapist. My therapist is only a few years older than I, but age didn't matter to me when I was seeking one. I am in a large city, and my only requirements were that she was female, and that her office was in the same part of the city that I am. I pretty much answered the kind of therapy (I was oblivious to the fact that there were so many), but I knew that I wanted someone who was warm, gentle, caring, compassionate, and someone who was open for hugs if I asked for one. I don't believe I suffer from transference with my therapist. Until I started lurking on this forum, I didn't know there was such a thing. I know not all therapists are alike, but I think, knowing what I know now, if I needed to find a new therapist, I would stick with someone who practiced somatic experiencing. It just makes sense to me.

Found online.

First session we had an immediate good connection and interest in each-other. Quickly turned out that we like many of the same things.

Male, about 16-18 years older than me (never asked his age).

Style: very observant, perceptive, often philosophical. Also respectful and highly professional yet kind. I love his style.

Type of therapy: primarily psychodynamic with eclectic specific elements. But often I feel our sessions are like conversations between good friends.

Transference: a few different kinds, only positive. I saw him as someone I would want to be close friends with, I find him very attractive and have had erotic feelings, appreciate his intellect and analytical abilities and could imagine being work colleagues, but perhaps most intense and frequent thought is that I would love him to be my brother (I don't have siblings in reality). Never thought of him as parental figure or authority, more as an equal. With my former T I had a lot of negative transference so this current experience has been quite pleasant.

Found online.

First session I don't really remember but I was in crisis over my first therapist.

age and gender He's a man, 30 years older than me. (I'm 31 he's 61ish)

Style: he is not an overtly warm and cuddly type. Very intelligent and knowledgeable, but also very caring and thoughtful.

Type of therapy: he is integrative, person centred and psychodynamic primarily.

Transference: I love him like a father, though he is very, very different from my father. He has admitted to having some paternal feelings towards me.

[AllHeart]

Found - referral from retiring t.

First session - great! Connection formed immediately and grew more meaningful and deeper from there on out. That was almost 2.5 years ago.

Female - 22 years older than me.

Style: loving, warm, empathic, non-judgmental, humorous, self-disclosing, vulnerable.

Type of therapy: Talk, IFS, sharing of spiritual wisdom.

Transference: Some in the beginning. T had countertransference also. A 2-way attachment soon happened which led to all kinds of interesting things.

[mostlylurking]

Found - Referral from friend. Originally as a marital counselor. 5 months in he suggested I might benefit from individual therapy for self esteem issues,so now he's both.

First session - Good, but uneventful. I did almost all the talking, both at marital and individual T first sessions. I just assumed it would work out, both times. (I was lucky.)

When we clicked - We always worked well together, but "clicking" happened over a handful of particular moments which are important to me. It wasn't like it was okay, then we clicked, then it was excellent. It's been like: it's always good, occasionally there's a moment that makes me feel really good and understood (a "click").

Male - which surprises me. Originally thought seeing a male would be good for my husband in marital therapy, otherwise would never have seen a male, which makes me sad because he's such a good T.

Style / Type of therapy: Supposedly family systems, but really, he's been doing this for over 20 years and just has his own eclectic and pretty hands-off style, at least it's not very directive with me. I'm aware that he adapted his style -- perhaps quite a lot? -- to meet my needs. Not very emotionally responsive but it turns out that's probably better for me or else I'd become a caretaker toward him. Very, very consistent in demeanor and in every other respect. Doesn't self-disclose, but has not refused my (extremely rare) questions.

Transference: Some adult / parental transference, although mild and it went away. Mostly I felt this in obsessing about what to say to him next session, and counting down to the next session. Have been afraid of the romantic sort all along (almost obsessively worried about this) but has not happened in 18 months of therapy.

Found online quite by accident as I was researching other t's names! The words "dream work" in her profile caught my eye so I called her, and she called me back first.

First session I had no idea what I was getting into and naively thought I'd be going for about 6 months ha ha but 5 years in, I can honestly say it's been the best thing I've ever done.

When we clicked honestly I think we clicked right from that first phone call.

Female she's 12 years older than me, which is just perfect.

Style non-judgemental, humble, warm, empathic, self-disclosing, caring.

Type of therapy Jungian depth therapy primarily with some other stuff mixed in there like she's certified in Sand Play therapy, also including some less-traditional things

Transference oh absolutely - maternal transference and I've found the best way to deal with it is to talk with her about it. It comes and goes in intensity. Although she has never once used that word. But, oh the feels sometimes!!

[junkDNA]

Found online met him in a long term treatment facility

First session he walked down to a garden to meet me. i dont remember what we talked about specifically, but i felt i could be open with him

When we clicked pretty soon after we began working together... it did tkae me a few years to trust him, but our personalities mesh well

gender/age he is male, 10 years older than me. i am 29 he is 39

Style weird and funny, authentic, unconventional, warm and caring, easy to talk to, very consistent

Type of therapy eclectic... mostly rogerian, schema therapy, psychodynamic, attachment/relational focused

Transference yes.

[waterlogged]

Found referral from my birth doula for post part in depression concerns

First session I had a 7 week old so I don't really remember. On my way to my second session, I got into a car accident and couldn't make it. Almost 3 years later, I'm still going.

When we clicked Well, it took a looooong time.

Gender age Female, mid 50s

Style She's patient, and smart, and very well-boundaried. She can be pretty objective/analytical but is also really empathic.

Type of therapy My T is a candidate at the local psychoanalytic society, and I have gradually moved from looser psychodynamic therapy into object relations psychoanalysis (like I go 4x/week, for example).

Transference it has been intensely negative at times, which has been hard to work through. Lately things have shifted into a more positive space, but the negative maternal transference tends to come back.

[1stepatatime]

Found: online

First session: it will be four years ago this coming January

age and gender : 45ish, female

style: an excellent listener, usually warm, open and honest, real

Type of therapy: bioenergetics in conjunction with psychodynamic therapy

Transference: it's a lot of maternal, it used to be erotic but not as much anymore. I used struggle with the transference because she is younger than me. I don't think about the age difference as much as I used to. She is comfortable with the transference and welcomes it because the therapy is largely about the relationship between her and I, so that I can become more self aware and improve and/or build upon my relationships outside of therapy.

[justdesserts]

Found: Reference from a respected colleauge
First Session: I don't have a strong memory of. I liked him enough to come back. When I met him, I didn't want to commit to long term therapy. I just wanted to be happier. Then we went deeper and lots changed.
Age and gender: Male, 7 years older than me, but in a similar phase of life
Type of Therapy: Interpersonal, Authentic,
Transference: No, I sometimes feel like he's a big brother. Is that a kind of transference?

[fullsassahead]

How did I find my therapist? My T was a referral from my dietitian. Oddly enough, she had done my intake for a partial hospitalization program 10 years prior.

What was my first session like? I don't really remember my first session with her. I know it was an assessment of sorts. I do remember that I was very leery of her. I had just terminated with another therapist and was fearful of trusting anyone. I know we talked in generalities and that I tried very hard to seem as though I had it all together - I didn't want her to decide that I was too much to handle. In my area, there just aren't many therapists who specialize in eating disorders. There is a treatment center here, but the therapists there just aren't experienced enough to work with someone such as myself. And, any other who touted a specialty in eating disorders were sketchy. So, I was putting all of my eggs into her basket, so to speak, and I needed it to work...even though I wasn't sure she was going to be what I needed.

When did we click? I think we clicked early on. And, by that I mean we were compatible. She was easy to talk to from the get go, but I definitely had reservations. She is quirky and eclectic whereas I am more traditional. I also wanted someone who was warm and nurturing and I was unsure as to whether she was. In the beginning, I saw her as someone who was "cool" and approached therapy in that way - kind of peer level. And, quite honestly, that had never worked for me before. I have always clicked more with therapists and professionals who took a more "motherly" approach. Over time, though, she became what I needed her to be. She was consistent from the get go and grew to be very warm toward me. When I let my guard down and let her see me for who I was, she was right there and knew what I needed. So, even though we clicked from the first session, it took time to develop a relationship that was both effective and comfortable.

Gender and age? Female. Because of my trauma issues, working with a male therapist has never been something that would be appropriate for me. In terms of age, she's in her early 40's. That puts her about 10 years older than me. And, that, too, is important as I don't feel a younger therapist would be the right fit for me.

Style? She is definitely more emotional than analytical. I do not do well with therapists who are cerebral. While I appreciate intelligence and want someone who can give me a run for my money, I am an emotional individual and need that connection. She is very accepting. And, as I mentioned before, she is definitely consistent. Inconsistency in professionals causes me to not feel they are trustworthy. I need someone who will provide structure and healthy boundaries. She has an eclectic therapy style. It's apparent that she provides incredibly individualized treatment. She practices CBT and DBT although I feel her focus is definitely more DBT in nature. But, I'd say she doesn't solely function in one area. As I said, it's all individualized and she molds her therapy around what each client needs.

Is there transference? I struggle with knowing whether I have attachment or transference issues. I absolutely view her in a maternal light. But, any attachment or transference I have with her is positive. It's been healing for me to experience that and it has added to my therapy rather than taken away from it. And, it's something she and I acknowledge and accept. It's not taboo in our relationship and has really helped accelerate my therapy and our relationship.

[MBM17]

Current therapist:
My mom found him, of all things! I was 22 and really struggling. I'd made the stupid decision to go off my meds to get pregnant. Two months later, I was fighting with myself daily to not kill me and baby. It was really bad. My mom was desperate and looking for a miracle. She searched online (“shopped around,” so to speak) to look up EMDR therapists because she'd read/heard something about it (she's a registered nurse). He was the only EMDR trained therapist (in both parts of EMDR) in the whole city.

First session:
I can't remember how I felt before the session, but I know how I felt by the end of the first session. I'd spent the session basically telling him my story. As I walked out of the session, I felt surprised to realize that he'd made a couple comments that showed understanding and given me some suggestions/encouragement that actually helped! With the previous three or four therapists, I didn't get any benefit really through the whole time. With them, I kept thinking, "Maybe when they get to know me better, they'll help." This therapist helped in the first session.

When we clicked:
I pretty much knew right then, at the end of the first session. Just to make sure, I met with the concurrent therapist one more time. Like was happening every time with her, I left the session and sobbed for an hour. I went back to my current therapist and knew this was right.

Gender:
He's male. I never had a gender preference, but after I met with this therapist, I started looking for similarities between all the therapists that helped me. They were all male, with no other similarities.
I hadn't thought about that much until someone recently posted a poll about therapist gender. I thought about it and concluded that because my emotions are naturally so intense and overwhelming (bipolar), I need a therapist to be able to compartmentalize their stuff and their feelings. I can't talk about my feelings unless I know the therapist will be steady, an emotional rock, reliable to be logical and point out the errors in how I'm thinking when I'm consumed in emotion. In my experience, compartmentalizing feelings is a gift of men. I think this is why I do better with male therapists.

Age:
I’m mid-20s. He’s my parents’ age.

Style:
This is a tough question.
He likes to joke.
He's never tells me what to do, but he suggests.
He is super pro-marriage. When I’m complaining about my husband, he says, “Aren’t you so lucky that ____?” It can be annoying when I’m angry, but I appreciate it.
Reassuring and encouraging

Type of therapy:
He's pretty big on CBT. In general, I've always hated CBT because I was always so deeply depressed that it was ineffective and therapists kept telling me that CBT was the ultimate answer and would work if I tried harder. (It was horrible.) I told this therapist upfront that I hate CBT. But now that I'm on mood stabilizers and not nearly suicidally depressed all the time anymore, CBT actually helps.
He has a quote taped on his desk from some psychology dude that says that the relationship is like 40% of the success in therapy, so my therapist is pretty big on that. That has been crucial since I've had really damaging therapy experiences.
He has also talked about how important client-driven therapy is in his opinion.
He has done a few sessions of couple’s therapy for us.
We have done EMDR about three issues.

Transference:
I don't think so.

How long:
We’ve been meeting for over 3 years now.

Other:
The other day I was thinking about the ways he has most helped me.
1) nonjudgmental understanding. He doesn’t visually respond when I’m talking to him, like with expressions or feelings, which I appreciate. It tells me that what I say doesn’t upset him, which means that I can talk about my feelings and frustrations and struggles without worrying what he is thinking or what effect I’m having.
2) similarly, compartmentalizing his life. Sometimes I wonder things about his life, but I don’t wonder enough to ask. During our hour, I need him 100% there with me, not me thinking he’s 2% off with his family on his farm or whatever.
3) helping me lower my expectations for myself. He has brought me closer acceptance that bipolar hugely limits me. I have less self-hatred and guilt for being such a failure because of my therapist.

[Mike_J]

Found through a STRONG recommendation by my first (and by far the best) psychiatrist

First session felt comfortable with her, looking back I find it funny that she said it would take at least 6-12 months, my thought "oh I can do it in 3 months tops" and that was over 10 years ago

When we clicked first session

Female, she is 7 years younger than I am, though at first I thought the age gap was much larger.

Style warm, caring, overly professional if that makes sense

Type of therapy Psychodynamic

Transference I really hat that word, can't I just have a crush on a very beautiful woman

FOUND: through a friend. She is a prominent figure in my town but I had never even seen her before.
FIRST APPOINTMENT: very new experience compared with previous ts. She asked me straight out had I been abused and tried to do an experiment with me which I told her no, it was too early for that. I really liked her openness and honesty and warmed to her right away.
T is female and is 60.
Theoretical orientation: gestalt but she is supposedly person centred but o have yet to see that.
Style: as some of you know, my t is very blunt and straight to the point. She doesn't n at around the bush, which at times has been difficult to navigate with her. She can be very kind and compassionate