[LostOnTheTrail]

Hi, all.

Had an interesting discussion with P this week, I was talking about the impact of my current situation on my life, and she had said that she was going to try something with me. I agreed, and she began picking things out of what I had just said, particular words and phrases that apparently relate to how my situation is affected by my disability.

I said something about having missed a section out of a piece of work, and mentioned that this was not normal for me. 'You've gone a bit off the subject now, can we come back to...' Even though I'm not sure we were actually getting anywhere with what she was saying.

It's less blatantly dismissive than previous encounters, but still felt somewhat dismissive. I was under the impression that things said in the therapy room have equal value. What do you think?

I don't know. I don't think everything I brought up was of equal value at all. Sometimes I brought things up to avoid what was really important. Sometimes I brought things up that I just wanted to share but they weren't really important to my therapy work. There were definitely times my therapist brought me back to center, back to what was more truly relevant, and he was right most of the time. I never found his redirection dismissive. Frustrating maybe because he wasn't letting me be avoidant in my case, but not dismissive. Will they get it right all the time? No, but that doesn't necessarily make it dismissive; it may just be a matter of the communication being unclear.

[guilloche]

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

It's less blatantly dismissive than previous encounters, but still felt somewhat dismissive.

Do you think that it's possible to talk to your T about this? It seems to me that, whether or not her intention was to be dismissive, it's important that you felt that way... and important that you seem to feel that way a lot when you interact with your T.

If it were me, it would be something that I'd need to address... because how can you have a "therapeutic alliance" and feel understand and heard if you're constantly feeling dismissed?

Does that help? I'm not sure that anyone can tell you what your T actually intended, and it's hard for me to picture what happened well enough to say how I'd feel. I know that I'm pretty sensitive to stuff like that though, so it would likely bother me (and I probably wouldn't even realize it until I left!)

I think anything that is said, has value. It's how we get to the deeper stuff stopping a client may miss a vital insight. Words are all we have in therapy. They are therapy.

[Argonautomobile]

Nobody likes to feel dismissed, or like their words don't matter. Bring it up with your T if you can.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

Nobody likes to feel dismissed, or like their words don't matter. Bring it up with your T if you can.

It's weird, because this is such short-term therapy. This week was session 4 of a predicted 6, and I've spent two of those four hashing out something she's said that has made me feel uncomfortable/invalidated. There is a possibility of another four sessions, which I feel I will take, but she's pretty much only just worked out why I am even there. I appreciate why she wanted to redirect me, but felt that I was saying something significant about the impact, that hadn't been fully recognised.

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

It's weird, because this is such short-term therapy. This week was session 4 of a predicted 6, and I've spent two of those four hashing out something she's said that has made me feel uncomfortable/invalidated. There is a possibility of another four sessions, which I feel I will take, but she's pretty much only just worked out why I am even there. I appreciate why she wanted to redirect me, but felt that I was saying something significant about the impact, that hadn't been fully recognised.

That sounds very confusing. I hope your next session is better.