(((Sarmas))))
That sounds horrible.
I feel like I'm going thru something similar right now and am trying to fix the problem. It does't matter if they give you a dx or what they mark it in your record as these problems of being labeled still exist regardless if you are told or not what they are. It would still be reflecting in their thinking and behaviors.
Sarmas, I'm so sorry that therapist acted scared of you. That could repeat an attachment with your mother, if she was an anxious mother. And about not being believed-that must have been so upsetting. Some of us, including me, have childhood traumas where we weren't believed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarmas
My T didn't diagnose me until 2-3 months into my sessions. She was more attentive and listening before then and she contributed her thoughts. The day she diagnosed me that told me she was very serious. She was telling me as if it wa at his horrific thing. I didn't quite understand what she was labeling me with at the time. I was clueless. Before she even somewhat explained what this diagnosis was she told me how it's one of the worst diagnosis you could have and how therapists don't want to deal with such client. I researched it and disagreed with her and then from there on everything went down hill. If I discussed a scenario or an incident regardless of the fact I was wrong and everyone else involved was correct because I'm seeing things in a distorted fashion because of my diagnosis. I felt as if I had to prove myself and show evidence but certain things I didn't want to completely share so I couldn't help her see things differently. She was afraid of me. I would walk in the room and she would look scared as if I was about to attack her. One day I came in and she was sitting. I was about to take a seat as I'm explaining something that's bothering me and liked afraid and told me to take a seat. She kept a bigger distance between us. I felt alienated and almost contagious. I did bring it up and I told her that I've never hurt anyone in my life but that didn't matter. She used to accept texts and emails and then she was bothered by it. Anything I said according to her it wasn't a big deal and I was being extreme. She minimized everything. It was hurtful and frustrating .wheneevr I would tell her something should tell me that she couldn't believe that such a person would do such things and that I'm viewing things in a distorted fashion due to my diagnosis. She would often throw out and say "that's your bpd". The funny thing is that I did disagree with my diagnosis but even if it was true she never tried to gear me in the right direction with it. I felt like I didn't matter and at times when things were getting seriously bad in my life and I was suicidal and my coping skills were horrible she would treat it as me being extreme. The fourth year into my session I think she figured that I wasn't going to physically hurt her which was good because that was making me feel so uncomfortable. I don't think her approach worked or perhaps there was a bigger master plan she was going to implement at some time. I'm not sure but yes being labeled didn't help
My case at all.
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