[benzenering]

I had a session with my therapist today that has left me feeling absolutely AWFUL! It is my fourth session with him. Is this normal? I feel a very serious depression coming on Ugh!

[Ocean Swimmer]

Did something your Theripist bring up to date trigger these feelings?
You can steer the conversation to things concerning your issues.

My therapist told me if I wasn't feeling anything after sessions then they weren't helping.That was trauma therapy,so I don't really know how it goes for other types of therapy.

Originally Posted by benzenering

I had a session with my therapist today that has left me feeling absolutely AWFUL! It is my fourth session with him. Is this normal? I feel a very serious depression coming on Ugh!

Is say the therapy was already there, just out of consciousness. Therapy connects us to whatever is going on inside. This is where the work is. Feeling like this - which you were anyway - and talking about it

[Anthropologize]

Sometimes you eat something that makes your stomach upset. It doesn't mean you had an upset stomach all along and the bad food 'connected' you with it. It means you had bad food.

Good therapy doesn't make people feel worse. I know there's the somewhat masochistic view that therapy is pain, but I don't subscribe to it, and it seems it's more often than not an excuse for putting up with a bad provider that someone has become "attached" to.

Originally Posted by Anthropologize

Sometimes you eat something that makes your stomach upset. It doesn't mean you had an upset stomach all along and the bad food 'connected' you with it. It means you had bad food.

Good therapy doesn't make people feel worse. I know there's the somewhat masochistic view that therapy is pain, but I don't subscribe to it, and it seems it's more often than not an excuse for putting up with a bad provider that someone has become "attached" to.

You're right. Therapy doesnt make you feel 'worse'. You feel that already, but being outside doing life, it is masked. Therapy takes us 'inside'. It's as if we feel worse. That's a delusion. We are just feeling what is there. No one can make us feel worse. Therapy is a gateway to all those masked feelings. It's the 'worse' that took us to therefor. It's rather simplistic blaming attachment. If it's bad therapy, there wouldn't be much of an attachment. Your reply feels rather defensive. Therapy does being up painful feelings.

[missbella]

My therapy left me feeling worse because of the role playing--therapists feigned a power, omniscience and sagacity they didn't really possess. And festering in my life's sorrows and unfairness left me feeling persecuted rather than motivated to move forward toward creating a better life for myself. It taught me to be a depressive.

[mostlylurking]

I do think a T can make you feel worse. They can retraumatize clients in various ways and thus worsen the original issues. They generally seem to do this (judging by the many stories here) by fostering attachment and then betraying it somehow.

Since the OP has seen this guy only 4 times and has felt worse every time, I'm thinking some other therapist might have a different and less destabilizing approach? While I agree with Mouse that there can be difficult feelings lurking under the surface, and that they do need to be processed eventually in order to get healthier and happier in the long run, this sounds like a lot of escalating negative emotion for such a new therapy relationship. Maybe it's going too fast? Maybe more time needs to be spent building feelings of safety and acceptance and better self-esteem before delving into painful topics?

[velcro003]

I have left many a session feeling worse. My T said that this was normal, and basically what mouse said: it is unmasking what was already there.

[skeksi]

I have occasionally left feeling worse, especially at the beginning of my treatment. It wade the reason Mouse gave--we had dug up feelings that I had been working very hard to keep buried because they were distressing to me. For me, it often lasted for a few days and then the effect "wore off."

Benzenering, next session, share with your T how you felt when you left the session so together you can decide if that is par for the course or something that you can or should avoid by changing how you address hard topics in therapy.

[benzenering]

I guess I have always been under the impression that therapy was supposed to make you feel good...therefore I was surprised by how bad I felt on Thursday. I journalled about it a little bit, a habit I'm trying to form as I find my way through therapy, and I did feel a little bit better. Thank you, skeksi, I will try to share with him these feelings. I guess I came away feeling like I was getting the blame for the way things are and that didn't sit well with me. Thank you all for your thoughts.

[velcro003]

I'm sorry you felt like you were getting blamed-that is a different reason to feel bad It does get better though, if you have a good T. I hope you can talk about how you felt at your next session, and get a response you find helpful.

[Salmon77]

When I started therapy I often felt sort of down and tired after a session. Mainly I think it was just the strain of being in therapy, trying to figure out how to handle this new situation and how to talk about difficult things in a new way. Plus I spend time on things and feelings that in daily life I would suppress somehow. So it wore me out. Usually I feel better after therapy now.

ETA after seeing your more recent post, you should talk to your T about feeling blamed. Your T should not be judging you, so either s/he is and shouldn't, or maybe you blame yourself or expect blame because of prior experiences. Either way, something to address.

[BrazenApogee]

Originally Posted by skeksi

Benzenering, next session, share with your T how you felt when you left the session so together you can decide if that is par for the course or something that you can or should avoid by changing how you address hard topics in therapy.

Yes, I agree that talking about how you are feeling when you leave is very important. Your T needs to know.

Originally Posted by Salmon77

ETA after seeing your more recent post, you should talk to your T about feeling blamed. Your T should not be judging you, so either s/he is and shouldn't, or maybe you blame yourself or expect blame because of prior experiences. Either way, something to address.

When I first started with my current T, I left upset often. I didn't understand why, I just felt horrible. I have since worked it out with T, and now I look forward to my sessions. I had a really bad Negative Transference, where I thought he (and everyone really, cause that's how transference works) hated me, and wanted me to shut up and go away. So, every session I left with these horrible feelings that had nothing to do with what really went on between him and I.

I was very confused as well, but I have learned that "that's why they call it work." Therapy can be hard, sometimes you leave feeling really bad, sometimes you don't want to go at all. As my T says "It'll be uncomfortable until it's not." And it has been, now it's not. I can see him for the kind caring person he was all along. The trick is to keep showing up, and to keep saying what is really going on. Like how you feel blamed. This could be your own transference, have you felt that way before with other people? Tell T about it. If they a good T, they will listen and help you talk it out. If they bad T, get another T.