Talking with T about how I'd behave when drunk and why? T said, drink takes away inabitions. It does that for everyone, but if you were never allowed to be angry growing up, you never got familiar with your anger, never learnt how to negotiate it. The instructions of how to be come from everyone outside of you. If you didn't get angry, it's not because you weren't, it's because you had to repress it. So When drunk your inside is allowed, but it's so raw.

That 'come from outside of you' has stuck with me. That's why T is very careful what she says to me, and allows me to be just as I am in any given moment. Whether it's angry or whatever. She never says "that's wrong", I'm allowed through trial and error within the theraputic space to discover what's acceptable to me. Even when I've told her to 'f£&@ off" she sat there with a receiving smile. She has never limited what comes from inside if me.

[here today]

My last therapist, who I was with for 6+ years, was not like that. There was, and to some extent still is, a cultural "demand" in my area of the USA that females be "ladies" and direct anger is definitely not part of that.

Although she is in her 40's, not 60's like me, my last therapist had partaken of that "poison" too. It's what we had, the cultural examples we had, what our mothers had had to deal with, etc., very toxic.

Not trying to hijack your thread -- hope you don't see it like that.

Originally Posted by here today

My last therapist, who I was with for 6+ years, was not like that. There was, and to some extent still is, a cultural "demand" in my area of the USA that females be "ladies" and direct anger is definitely not part of that.

Although she is in her 40's, not 60's like me, my last therapist had partaken of that "poison" too. It's what we had, the cultural examples we had, what our mothers had had to deal with, etc., very toxic.

Not trying to hijack your thread -- hope you don't see it like that.

No share away. I run a mile from those that partake in what society deems 'proper'. Cannot stand it.com