Couples therapy

We might be starting couples therapy soon. I am very nervous about it. Anyone who is or has done this can you give me an idea of what to expect? I don't like the unknown, I need to know what it might be like beforehand.

Couples therapy can be a scary thing. For me it turned out to be a blessing. My husband and I were arguing non stop. One day the therapist asked my husband to leave the room. Then he asked me if I was depressed. I burst into tears and said "oh god yes" he suggested that I see a pdoc and things got way better after that. It was very helpful to learn how to communicate with my husband in a helpful instead of distructive ways. We get along much better now. We can talk about problems and iron them out before it turns into all out war.

My T thinks it would be a good idea so that we can learn to communicate better. We really don't talk anymore. Everything is focused around the kids. When we do argue she never engages and just sits there. So it is like I am arguing with myself.

I have been in one group,for couples, and have seen two different ts for couple therapy. We are approaching our 30th anniversary, so obviously got some good out of it.

I think you can expect the first session to be getting to know the t a little bit, do you feel comfortable with them or not. Probably they will ask why you are there and what you want from counseling and perhaps what you want in your marriage. Depending on your t, you might talk about your families when you were growing up. You will probably be given homework (tho maybe not the first session). We were given homework like make each kiss last 7 seconds, spend 5 minutes each really listening to each other and then checking to see if you understood. It will probably be more focused on developing skills so that you can love and support each other, and be loved and supported in the way you want.

In my experience it was easier than individual t. We never talked much about things that are really hard to talk about, with the exception of sex. And that for me was more awkward than scary.