[AnxiousandAlive124]

So to start off, I have seen my current therapist for 3 and a half years, off and on sort of. Last year I went through a rough patch, to put it lightly, which she referred me to a clinic to help get a more intense therapy before I returned. Fast forward to today, I am doing better and may have a prospective job on the horizon Also, depression is a lot better.
With the holidays just around the corner...I ended up picking up an xmas gift for my therapist, I spent around $45 dollars on the entire gift and what I was wondering was basically if any of you have given a therpist a holiday present and how they reacted/and if they accepted. This gift is entirely meant to show her my appreciation over the years + has a slight personal touch since it's no secret she loves to read. This is also the first time I will be giving her a gift, so I don't know what to expect.
Any comments or stories on how gift giving goes would be helpful.

Nope, never given a gift. My current therapist had really, really strict boundaries (maybe because he's new and is afraid of being too lax).

I've offered him stuff before, but he always politely refused, citing client/patient boundaries... though I think my old therapist would have gladly accepted a gift. (She was older and much more lax.)

I might try a Christmas card to show my appreciation. A card holds no monetary value, so I don't see any reason for him to refuse it.

[Teddy:)]

I've given my T gifts! Its never been an issue, T has always gladly accepted them & been very appreciative of me doing so! T always reminds me that I don't need too. I usually buy something meaningful or make something. My T has boundaries but still accepts gifts

[AllHeart]

I didn't give my t anything the first year. Second year (aka last year) I made her a unique, expensive gift ($40 supply cost to me, $175 value). She graciously accepted it and then brought me a little gift the following week.

I had wanted to buy my t a gift of some sort this year, but, she requested I make her another one of my unique gifts. So she will get that in lieu of a Christmas gift this year. I hope your t loves the gift you bought for her!

[ScarletPimpernel]

I'd suggest asking your T if she accepts gifts. Or at least ve prepared that she might not accept gifts.

My T accepts gifts, but I haven't given her any yet. I'm saving them for our termination. I don't like to gift adults on holidays. My parents made gift giving about monetary value, so it doesn't have the same meaning to me as most.

[Sadness2008]

I got my therapist a lot of gifts over the years. She accepts them every time. I spend about $25 buying her stuff each time. I usually get her a birthday and christmas present. She always returns me gifts for my birthday and christmas, easter. However i never get her anything for easter.

I always get my therapist a personalized present because she shares a lot with me and I know her very well. I usually get her a box of chocolates with a thing on the side. The thing of the side is the personalized thing. An example was once i got her a hand carved gemstone of her favorite animal.

She's never refused the gifts, however she has once told me I didn't have to get her so much. I just replied that i know i didn't have to, but i wanted too and she gave me a hug.

I really think it's down to the therapist. Mine has extremely loose boundaries. Sometimes it feels like she has none at all.

[ruh roh]

You know, I had read so much here about boundaries and gift giving that I was afraid to give a gift after the first year, so last Christmas, I asked my therapist if I could bring something that had a therapeutic purpose and she said of course. Then, over the course of this second year, I gave her a couple things I made and didn't ask ahead of time and she was wonderful about accepting them. All that fear I had from reading stuff here had scared me away. So for this Christmas, I have made something and will just give it to her. She's the type of gift receiver that makes a person feel good for giving something. I wish I hadn't been influenced by stories of bad experiences because it kept me from having a good experience. At least I eventually took a chance eventually and found out for myself.

So, I guess I would say just go with your gut. You know your therapist best.

[growlycat]

I have given my long term t a gift for the holidays but not my last t, as he seemed more boundaried. I do send them all cards with a note of thanks though.

I have a less than $20 gift for Kashi because it was something we talked about and I thought it would be nice. Not sure if he accepts gifts. Will find out Saturday.

[Waterbear]

I have given my T lots of 'gifts', though as someone else phrased it once, it is more like a cat bringing home his catch. They are all handmade and mean something to me. It is a way of giving a part of me. They are all in Ts office and I wonder sometimes whether she thinks "oh no, not again, where am I going to put this one!". But if she does she never let's on but graciousely accepts and tells me that it is lively etc. To see them all displayed makes me feel cared for.

If you aren't sure and you wouldn't handle rejection wellz I would ask but if it wouldn't bother you if she said she could t accept then I dotn see an issue. I hoprle it turns out works whatever you decide.

[junkDNA]

I get my T gifts... I spent $8 this year. He doesn't want things that are expensive, like over $25

[ThisWayOut]

I've given t's gifts before. Those that recieve gifts all accepted them w/o issue (not saying that the "gift" didn't end up in my file with stone of them, but they didn't refuse anything). Current t has gotten gifts from other clients, but I don't think I've given her anything. Most her gifts are displayed in her office (at least, I believe they are). I'm guessing if I were to give her anything, she would have it at work.

T and I exchange birthday and christmas presents every year. just opened some last night-lots of fun. she always likes getting presents, so do i

[1stepatatime]

I just gave my therapist a Christmas gift tonight.. it's a really nice candle. I think I spent 20.00 on it plus a nice card to go with it. She gladly accepted it : )
I can't speak for everyone but I think ( based on what I've read on here) that a lot of our fellow posters therapists would accept a gift that wasn't inappropriate.. meaning something super expensive or too personal. Maybe ask your therapist what their policy is regarding gifts or do what I did the first time.. just do it : )

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by AnxiousandAlive124

So to start off, I have seen my current therapist for 3 and a half years, off and on sort of. Last year I went through a rough patch, to put it lightly, which she referred me to a clinic to help get a more intense therapy before I returned. Fast forward to today, I am doing better and may have a prospective job on the horizon Also, depression is a lot better.
With the holidays just around the corner...I ended up picking up an xmas gift for my therapist, I spent around $45 dollars on the entire gift and what I was wondering was basically if any of you have given a therpist a holiday present and how they reacted/and if they accepted. This gift is entirely meant to show her my appreciation over the years + has a slight personal touch since it's no secret she loves to read. This is also the first time I will be giving her a gift, so I don't know what to expect.
Any comments or stories on how gift giving goes would be helpful.

I gave my T a gift card every year for Christmas. I just handed it younger an sshe thanked me. She opened it up in front of me and we continued.

Never given a gift. I am the gift that keeps on giving.

[MobiusPsyche]

I don't give holiday gifts but I give a gift at our theraversary, the time when we started seeing each other. I keep to a maximum of $20. I could afford to spend more but I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

[Elio]

I bought my t a gift a while back (like in July/Aug). It is a kickstarter item and it was to arrive by Nov. After I bought it, I questioned every part of my behavior completely. Why did I buy it, who is she to me, what if she says no, I don't have to give it to her, she doesn't have to know I bought it... I decided that for better or worse, I was going to offer it to her. Now, it has been delayed and shipping is just now starting. I don't believe it will arrive before Christmas.

We had not talked about gifts, though I have given her little things that I have put together. I didn't know if she had a personal take on gifts or if the clinic itself had a policy on gifts. I was going to talk to her about it last Wen so I wrote about it my journal. Then things on Wen went wonky and I forgot to bring it up, so she had a chance to read it before our Fri session. When I brought it up on Friday she said that she had read about it. I had completely forgotten I had put it in my journal. She smiled, that warm and accepting smile and asked me what my concerns were. I told her that I didn't know her take on them or if the clinic would even allow her to accept it. She said that she wasn't sure that she could ask. I said (almost a plead) that maybe she didn't need to ask. She said that there was a way of asking without asking and I kind of took it as that there won't be a problem with me giving her the gift; that we'd work it out some way.

I was so relieved because yeah, getting that rejection would suck big time for me.

And now I know I can give it to her in several weeks and it won't seem way out of place.

[growlycat]

The value of the gift I gave was under twenty dollars but more of a thoughtful thing if anything. Kashi accepted graciously. He said he just doesn't accept high value gifts.

I gave her a pot of "homemade" honey (my father is a beekeeper) for her birthday, with a ribbon and a note. I don't think she'd accept anything with real value. It was more of a "I remembered your birthday" thing than a "here is a gift" kind of thing.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I have given mine a homemade gift before. She has given me a gift too. Actually, she told me she has something for me for Christmas. I didn't get anything for her....might give her a card though.

[emgreen]

Never given a T a present, with the exception of a goodbye gift for a T who was moving away. Neither my current therapist nor I are Christian, but both celebrate the Winter Solstice (which is Wednesday, BTW). I always send her an email wishing her a happy solstice. She's out until January recovering from surgery, so I hope the email will let her know I'm thinking of her in her absence.

I gave my t a hand made gift once - I crocheted a doily and then made it into a bowl that I gave her as a going-away gift before she moved several years ago. I brought it with me, kept it hidden while I asked if she would accept a small gift, and she said as long as it was small and homemade it wouldn't be a problem. So I gave it to her and she loved it. Well I have written poems to/for her also in the past, which I have given her and one time I sang a song for her during a session (a song that I thought perfectly spoke to who I was when I first started seeing her, and the fact that I could sit there and sing it when I did, was a testament to just how far I've come since I started this work with her). The next week I told her I felt really stupid for wanting to sing after the fact and she was all "No! That was such an incredible gift!" I hadn't thought about it in that way.

[Chummy2]

I've only once given a T a gift. That was to current T1, when she went on maternity leave earlier this year. It was a babybook. It costed about €14, I think. I gave it at the end of our last session. She seemed ''happy'' to get it, she thanked me. But she didn't opened in my presence and she has never let me now what she thought of the gift. Even now she back at work and I've seen her a few times she hasn't mentioned it.
I shouldn't have given it to her. I won't give a T a gift ever again.

I gave the two groupT's a Christmas card. They gave us also a card.

T1 has never given me anything. Not that I want her to give me a gift. But I would like to get a personal card from her. But that won't happen.

[LadyShadow]

I only gave my T a present one year. I bought him a nice pen, (handcrafted in a box, which he never used!) But he was very appreciative of it, and displays it on his desk as a reminder of how much he appreciates it.

Since getting this new job I am going to buy T a personalized paper weight for his desk with his name marking our 10 year anniversary. I wouldn't be where I am now without my therapist.

So I hope your T likes your gift!

[skeksi]

I've never given a gift. I try to say thank you. For my relationship with T, me articulating positive feelings about him is a Big Deal, so that's how I try to show my gratitude.