One sided and T not understanding

Yep I realized that too. Mines just paternal. It's craving a relationship I didn't have. But the sucky part is it's sort of filing it, until reality inevitably sets in.

I don't think I could ever say "I love you" to T.

I hope he reacts ok. He has on everything else but this is a whole other level of honesty I'll let you know Friday how it goes.

So my session went ok today. He was completely fine with hearing how I feel about him and said he understood it and didn't think I should feel weird or bad for feeling the way I do. The end sucked though since he forgot to renew his license and will probably not be able to practice until next week sometime. He's worse about dropping stuff right at the end of a session than I am. I rarely do, I'll just wait and email it later and talk about it there.

Forgot to renew? Yikes.

Yeah he's stressing me out Calling it a good exercise just pisses me off and makes me sad at the same time.

He sent this a few minutes ago

"I'm sorry I know this sucks. I feel really bad about this. "Employer" hasn't gotten back to me but I won't be able to talk to you until the verification goes through Tuesday or Wednesday. We can keep talking through Sun but then after that we can't talk for a few days.

But that's ok. This is a good exercise to see how you do when you are out of communication with me for a short time.

I apologize again for any inconvenience this may cause. "

A good exercise? That sucks.

Agreed!!!

I told him that sounded like he was just trying to make himself feel better about letting it happen

Exactly!

A good exercise?! I'm so sorry about this. How could he forget something like that?! I have a really hard time being angry with my t (which I am right now because of something she said the other day that didn't really compute until later) but I think this would really make me mad. I hope he gets it renewed quickly!!

Thanks. I can be mad at him but usually have a hard time telling him or don't at all. It's so crappy he did this. It's really hard having no contact in general but to just spring it on me at the end of a session...I've done decent with SI and bingeing lately but this is too many triggersI want to be childish and just suspend my account for awhile and avoid him but it probably won't help. He said maybe Tuesday or Wednesday at the earliest he'd have it renewed since it's a holiday.