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  #26  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 09:48 AM
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magicalprince magicalprince is offline
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Not in therapy anymore but when I was I saw female Ts. I always related more to women than to men.

However over time that's opened up more. I would be willing to see a male T if I were going to do therapy again and there was one in my area who didn't seem really weird. (A lot of T's seem weird to me, it's just that for female T's there are more options.)

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  #27  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 01:21 PM
Anonymous58205
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All of my ts have been female. I would not see a male t because I do not trust men or women but I am closer to females. Usually I try to seduce my female ts, I never succeed but it doesn't stop me from trying. With my current t, I have trusted her but I don't trust her anymore.
  #28  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 01:33 PM
Anonymous55498
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I am female with both Ts males. I am generally more drawn to males and connect better with them. Long history including a great relationship with my father and very disconnected from my mother, virtually all really close friends males, prefer male doctors, mentors, colleagues, advisors. I also had a few stressful and ultimately failed friendships with girls when I was a kid and teen. This has become much less extreme with aging and conscious work and I don't have an issue in everyday life anymore due to it but I am still biased when it comes to whom I am naturally drawn to. The twist on it is that I am bisexual (but the attraction to women is typically more sexual than mental).
  #29  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 03:27 PM
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Both my T's are male. A woman T retraumatised me , but I have done some healing work with women , one of whom was T. I've always got on better with men and I've got mother issues. I was intrigued by the gender neutral thing , where the female aspects are balanced in men ( which both my T's have ). I just don't think I would open up in the same way with a female T.
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  #30  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 03:37 PM
Pennster Pennster is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crocus View Post
Male. Have had female Ts before and as a consequence was not able to talk about some important issues (important for me, not important in any general sense). I do not understand the "[either gender] POV" argument, it makes no sense to me, and nor does the notion that having the same type of genitalia can make it easier to understand another person, so it's easier for me not to have to deal with that preconception in the first place. I know that this means I am wrong and weird, but it's my reality. Plus I could never discuss anything non-superficial that's to do with physical or relationship issues with a woman, it would simply not be possible.
I relate to the idea of not getting the notion that having the same type of genitalia can make it easier to understand another person. I think that's one reason I prefer as a woman to work with a male therapist - I prefer that the therapist have no expectation of understanding based on being the same sex, because that is not an expectation I would share.
  #31  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 03:57 PM
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Argonautomobile Argonautomobile is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crocus View Post
Male. Have had female Ts before and as a consequence was not able to talk about some important issues (important for me, not important in any general sense). I do not understand the "[either gender] POV" argument, it makes no sense to me, and nor does the notion that having the same type of genitalia can make it easier to understand another person, so it's easier for me not to have to deal with that preconception in the first place. I know that this means I am wrong and weird, but it's my reality. Plus I could never discuss anything non-superficial that's to do with physical or relationship issues with a woman, it would simply not be possible.
I don't think it's wrong or weird. I approach most of my life without that preconception, and have personally found that biological sex is of far less importance than gender socialization.

Still, I think there are some little quirks that will always remain mysterious to the opposite sex. My husband has told me stories about the horrors of surprise boners during puberty, and I just find the idea silly beyond belief. This is something, he feels, another man just 'gets' better than I do.
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  #32  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 03:58 PM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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I don't know that genitalia is the actual issue. It's more like said genitalia do affect a child's upbringing and the way they learn to interact with the world. To varying degrees, but for instance many of the pressures on women are widely experienced and likewise many of the pressures on men. For some people, that just increases the comfort level, is all.

In my case, I also want to see a therapist the same age as or older than me, because I want someone who remembers the 80's - the world I grew up in.
  #33  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 04:03 PM
Anonymous55498
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I have a female friend who only sees female therapists. She states a few reasons for this, one actually having a female body. She has some body dysmorphic issues that are much more common in women and also physical stuff about female sexuality that she wants to discuss with someone who had first hand experience. I could imagine similar reasons for a man wanting to have a male therapist.
  #34  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 04:06 PM
Pennster Pennster is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
I don't know that genitalia is the actual issue. It's more like said genitalia do affect a child's upbringing and the way they learn to interact with the world. To varying degrees, but for instance many of the pressures on women are widely experienced and likewise many of the pressures on men. For some people, that just increases the comfort level, is all.
Ah, sure- I do get that some people relate to people of the same sex better for whatever reason. I'm just one of the people that doesn't, and I prefer to work with a therapist who doesn't think she's going to understand me any better because we are both women. I assume lots of (most?) people feel differently than I do about this.
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket
  #35  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 04:31 PM
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Mike_J Mike_J is offline
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My therapist is a female. I don't think I could ever have a male therapist, I just don't believe that I could ever really open up to another man. I have always felt more comfortable around women, and most of my friends are women, so it kind of makes sense, well at least to me.
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Thanks for this!
Argonautomobile
  #36  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 04:41 PM
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rainboots87 rainboots87 is offline
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(I'm female) My T is female and I definitely prefer female. I saw a male T briefly to try something new, but I am much more comfortable opening up to females.
  #37  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 04:59 PM
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worrist worrist is offline
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Female. I just feel much more comfortable speaking to women when it concerns emotions.
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  #38  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 05:08 PM
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isseyally isseyally is offline
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Female.Just wouldn't feel comfortable talking to males and because of things in my past.It's hard enough talking everything out as it is to the female T but definitely no males for me.
  #39  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 05:31 PM
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BrazenApogee BrazenApogee is offline
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My T is male. I don't know why I needed a male T this time around, I had always rejected male T's before. But when I was looking this time I rejected all female ones. He has a full beard though, that was a requirement for me. He can't look like my abuser. Now that I've been with him over a year I am starting to find fuzzy faced men everywhere I go, and seeing them as generally ok to be around. Kind faces. Maybe that's why I needed to have a male T. Somehow I knew I needed to change how I looked at men, by establishing a therapeutic relationship with one.
  #40  
Old Dec 28, 2016, 08:58 PM
Anonymous50005
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I've discovered working with a male T works better for me; I'm female. I actually had no preference and tried out several females, but the ones I tried treated me as broken and fragile; they revealed too much of their own abuse history almost immediately. Just all sorts of red flags from the very beginning. After several failed attempts and finding a female therapist who would treat me without pity and without over-emoting, I just kind of gave up; I don't have that kind of money to waste. I went back to male T's (I've actually never run across a male T that was a problem for me.) I have a severe sexual abuse history and have found my male T's very easy to talk to about very personal issues, very respectful and empowering rather than coddling and pitying, very determined that I was capable of healing and moving on with life, and they got me there.
  #41  
Old Dec 29, 2016, 07:26 AM
Anonymous37903
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My T is female. I feel females can give me what I missed.
  #42  
Old Dec 29, 2016, 09:21 AM
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My T is male, and I only considered men therapists when I was searching for one. I'm not sure why--I was abused by a male so he can be super triggering to me. But I think maybe I wanted to be able to work through that, subconsciously.
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