[Creamsicle]

Does anyone text with their T fairly regularly, like several exchanges that go back and forth? If so, i'm just wondering how your T charges for it. A set fee for texting, or a regular session fee for the amount of time, like by the hour? Just trying to figure out what would be appropriate. Thanks.

[Ellahmae]

My T and I text several times a day on top of my having sessions 3x a week. She does not charge me for out of session contact no matter how significant.

[LonesomeTonight]

Occasional texting with T and marriage counselor (maybe a text exchange every few weeks), plus an average of an e-mail exchange a week with each one. No charge for either. Same with phone calls, but those are much less frequent (aside from a particularly bad weekend earlier this year).

[kecanoe]

I don't currently text much with T1, but there was a time when we texted quite extensively. There was no charge.

[runlola72]

I don't text, but email almost every day. He doesn't charge extra.

[Sarah1985]

We text almost daily and she doesn't charge ��

[BayBrony]

My T and i text an average of once a day. No charges

[Creamsicle]

Wow, I'm shocked by this! Thanks so much for the information.

Occasional texts regarding scheduling, and every now and again just because I want to feel connected to her but I really try to keep those to a minimum. She's never charged me for texting, and I don't want to give her a reason to start!

[stopdog]

I dont text with therapists, but I don't text much even in real life. There are only a few people who i text with.

[Rostou]

Originally Posted by Creamsicle

Does anyone text with their T fairly regularly, like several exchanges that go back and forth? If so, i'm just wondering how your T charges for it. A set fee for texting, or a regular session fee for the amount of time, like by the hour? Just trying to figure out what would be appropriate. Thanks.

The matter of texting your T is something that you need to discuss with him or her. There are a number of things involved, not just money, if it is to do with money at all. Some T's do not allow more than an occasional text, if at all. They are not being cruel; they have their good reasons, including not having the client over depend on them & not learn to be with themselves, or letting themselves, the T's, get drained and burnt out & no good for anybody.

[rainboots87]

I used to text a former T in distress on a regular basis between sessions. We set up boundaries with it, but she never charged me. Even when she preferred to call in response to a text, I was never charged.

[edit] Oh, I meant to mention that I never text my current T, I don't think she has a work cell so it's just the main office number. I do email her between sessions more often than not, but she's never charged for it. She even said I could email as much as I want.

[AlittleUnsteady]

I don't text her very often. When I first started seeing her, she gave me her cell number and said if I needed to reach her I could call or email her. She never mentioned anything about a charge. I think that it is the therapists job to be available to you in crisis. I try not to contact her unless I absolutely have to. I have been seeing her for almost 2 years and have only texted her a couple of times. I think it's usually not an issue unless it becomes a regular thing.

[music-mum]

The only time I text is to make or change an appointment.

I never really text my t unless I need an extra appointment or to change my appointment. A few times I have sent her an occasionally angry text which she knows better never to charge me for. I am curious but is your t going to charge you for texting?

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T only allows texting for scheduling, but I do email. A limit has not been set yet on emailing, though I do email about once a week. She does not charge me for emails. If I need to call her, I'll only get charged if the phone call goes over 20mins. She feels that equals to part of a session at that point. I only am to call her in emergencies though.

[Merecat]

I don't text or email my T between sessions other than fir scheduling. A couple of times I've emailed her between sessions for therapy stuff, she doesn't charge me but doesn't get into protracted email or text exchanges either.

[junkDNA]

i text my T often. he responds sometimes, but not all the time.

he told me i can text him all i want just dont expect a response.

i struggled with him not responding for a while, we've had several discussions around it. why i text him, and why i get upset. hes told me he understands where my need for his attention comes from, and he wishes he could give it to me.

he has always been incredibly gentle with reaffirming the boundaries around texting. it does feel shameful and embarrassing when ive gone overboard and weve had to discuss it... but my T has NEVER shamed me over it.

ive gotten a lot better with not expecting responses. it used to upset me a lot. i know my T is very busy and also has a family, and a life without me in it. as much as that does bother me at times, i understand... and i am actually happy he has a family and those things...because i want him to be happy. hes a good person and deserves good things.

he has never charged me for out of session contact

[Waterbear]

I wouldn't say we exchange multiple texts, no. Neither do we with emails. I email and tell her by text that I have done so. She emails back and texts to say she has done so. Always within the day for text response, and mostly email response too. Sometimes I just text, if I am struggling, like today, and she gets back pretty quickly with some support. That is normally enough to tide me over until the next session, we meet twice a week.

She has never mentioned charging me but we did have a conversation in the beginning about what would be too much. Contact every day would be too much for her, but once or twice a week on average is absolutely fine she said. I wonder whether she would still be OK with this if we only met once a week or whether she would say that I needed more sessions if I needed the contact. I don't think so but we have never talked about it.

It is very specific to individual Ts though, it seems, and it .at be one of those frank discussions that you need to have.

[Salmon77]

I've never texted my T and don't want to. I don't understand why a T would allow it other than true emergencies, frankly. It just sounds really tiring.

[Creamsicle]

I asked the question and am so curious about everybody's responses because one of my Ts does text with me. We've been doing it for quite some time now. We text about four days per week. It is always according to whichever days my T can do it, so it changes week to week based on her schedule. It is always at whatever time is convenient for her, so she always initiates the text on the days we do it. She also always dictates how many back-and-forth texts there are - when she indicates she wants to stop, I always say thank you and bye. It has worked well as a source of support for me, especially as I'm in the middle of an unfortunately ongoing difficult situation, almost crisis, with my soon to be ex-H. I'm fully functional and stable, but it's been a hard time and I've been grateful for the support. It's all been at her discretion, and I know she's totally OK with it.

The only issue I'm having is the financial piece. She charges me for it by amount of time at her regular session rate. We don't even text that much, I don't think, but it winds up being extremely expensive. We've talked about it and she does not feel comfortable agreeing instead to a fixed rate for texting per month. So I have agreed to continue doing it this way because I don't want to lose the support, but I really can't afford to continue doing it anymore and I have this lousy feeling that I'm being taken advantage of. I'm ashamed of how much I pay. When I bring up the financial concerns, which she is well aware of, she says we can always just text less and have less contact and then it will be less expensive. I understand that of course and I guess it is fair, but it just really upsets me and hurts me that that's her response.

Anyway, it never even occurred to me that other therapists don't charge for texting. I am blown away by this. My other T (not marriage counselor but my individual T) doesn't text but we do email occasionally but she doesn't charge for that.

If you cannot afford it, then stop texting. Not sure how much additional cost you are paying, but Perhaps an additional session each month or something instead of the texts. Or, journal what is on your mind and share important parts if needed in session. While some here text regularly with their therapists, I guess more either never text at all or only text occasionally about scheduling, etc. Sounds a bit like this is more like additional therapy via text which may be why you are charged.

[CyclingPsych]

He either texts me if he wants to check up. Or, I text if I need him for something/want to rant. No charge. He will call if something needs more elaboration.

[88Butterfly88]

I used to text my old t a few times during the week and she didn't charge.

[nottrustin]

T hates texting. She does not texting anybody whether professional or personal. The funny thing is she does a lot of emailing from her phone. She knows essentially they are the same thing but she still doesn't like to do it. I email her a lot. Sometimes we go back and forth quite a bit in a day. There was one day that we were emailing back and forth all day in order to get me through the day. On a few occasions we have talked on the phone. I have told her she should charge me something for it. She refuses and says it is part of her service.