Acting on transference

Has anyone's t actual play out any of the transference as part of therapy?

No but it wouldve been interesting.

Why do you ask, Elio?

And what do you mean? Like a therapist mothering someone with maternal transference?

Because I did something that I now feel is very foolish for the little boy inside. I bought him a remote control car, and then I bought a 2nd one so I/he could have someone play with him, all the while thinking of t. At the time, I was thinking more like the little kid in both of us playing and being silly together. On my walk today, he spoke to me and it was mommy that he wants to play with him. And well, that just put a big negative spin on the whole thing because I thought little kid to little kid she might play with me... but throwing the transference in there... I'm like no way in h**l is she going to do it with that in the mix, and I'm sad about that.

One of the reasons I thought she might do it was because I have a lot of anxiety and negativeness around allowing myself to have fun and having fun around other people.

My therapist read stories to me so take it in and see what she says. You never know you might find out she likes doing this.

I think its important to discuss these wants with our ts. We might not stay in character the whole time, like playing with cars, but such toys and other props can help us better express or get in touch with our feelings. Ime.

I don't think we need T to act it out. We need them to help us understand it. It would infantizing.

Ya know, brains are weird. They're just this big mish-mash of pink goo and blood and electrical impulses and hormones and ****. And somehow in all that there are pictures and smells and sounds and personality quirks and memories. They're capable of astonishing feats yet can't ever seem to remember where the bloody car keys are. We've been cutting them apart for centuries and still nobody understand how they work.

All in all, a thought like "I want my T to play remote control cars with me" isn't that weird. I would totally play remote control cars with my T. If he ever ****ing answered the phone.

What I'm saying--I don't think it's foolish, so don't feel bad about it.

I play kids games with my T. Not every session, but it helps.

I think this may be my most favorite psychforum post ever.

I don't think it's weird. I think you will have to bring it to your T and see what response you get. My T and i sometimes do "childish" things. She writes words on my back that im supposed to guess, or tells me a story. Not very often, but when i need it its there. Plus laughter is very bonding so playing something fun can help secure the attachment.

Sometimes these are the types of things that are most healing for the wounded inner child part.

I don't think there's a need to feel foolish , although I have felt it I admit when I've done things for my inner child. I was a bit embarrassed about telling my T something but he lit up like a Christmas tree over it ! It's healing.

Thank you everyone. Defiantly, feeling less negative about it all.

When I first asked my T in email if we could play a game, his reply was "let the games begin." When I got into session he had his secret roll top desk open, and it was full of games! I laughed, it was like Christmas. I hope you have a similar moment with your T. It was good.

I don't think it's foolish at all and have tried to imagine me and t playing like little children many times before but it will never happen with her. I think this is really important that you play out whatever it is you need to Elio, be it transference or inner child work. It's your therapy. I would love to play with remote control cars with my new t. Old t had nothing in her room that enticed my inner child out but new t s office, I nearly friggin died. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. There were so many toys and art materials that I didn't know where to look, also she had pillows all over the floor and blankets. I imagined her and I having a pillow fight. I don't know her well enough to gauge her but how is your relationship with your t?

I think it is good. We've talked through lots and she's handled all my anger with openness and curiosity. And well, I love her and she cares a lot for me (she said). She's accepted my maternal transference also with openness. She let me take her on a field trip without talking about it first.

I think she's a great t. Not to say there haven't been missteps and misunderstandings along the way. She has been consistent, caring, and supportive. And when I need to know that she as a person really is ok with my anger, she's let me know that I didn't hurt her.

So, yeah, I need to talk to her about it and I will tomorrow. I'm scared to do so; however, I will do it one way or another.

Mmm, unknowingly she has. Several times my T has acted as a mother towards me by calling me honey or sweetheart and taking care of me as a mother would her child. Afterward, she realizes it and yeah...it gets interesting.

Sure, probably in ways both of us don't even understand yet.

Today's session... We talked about food and weight issues some, about how I experienced the handshake, about a work presentation... and then about the remote control cars, she said bring them in ... I feel like I kid on Christmas eve or being told that they are going to Disneyland.

Oooh the pictures of the remote control cars are:
https://forums.psychcentral.com/album.php?albumid=5154

Sounds like you have a really good relationship with your t Elio. Sounds like she is pretty open and welcoming if whatever you bring to her. I am glad she was happy to play with the cars, sounds like it could be a very powerful session in many ways.