How to Dump Your Therapist

Scenario: you and your therapist after however much time together, are just not getting anywhere for whatever reason (you, her/him) or maybe they've screwed up, or circumstances have changed, etc.

How would you dump your therapist? Or how have you done so?

There must be 50 ways to leave the therapist.
Just walk out the back, jack
Make a new plan stan .....

For me, I have told the two I saw before these two that I was not coming back at the end of the last appointment -with the first one I ever saw, we then made hobby plans, and the other I just walked out with no further anything- I just sort of decided to do it at that time.These were both before emailing was much of a thing.

Now I would have emailed and said I was cancelling or called and left the message to cancel my appointments. I would not go and discuss why or anything like that. I do not want to pay those guys to tell them I am quitting. I have pretty much stopped with the second one I was seeing - I just said I would call if I wanted an appointment and have not called.

Never dumped a T before. I'd probably just stop going. He might call three months later.

Yes! I finally got a SD reference

I dumped my last T (of 5 1/2 years) by email. I felt guilty about it for a long time, but now that I see a T much more suited to me, I feel less guilty.

I told my therapist at the beginning of a session that it would be our last session and caught her off guard. I told her all of my reasons why and she said that she regretted some of our issues. It was a nice ending and she shook my hand as I was leaving.

A few days later she called to tell me that she hadn't remembered at the time to tell me that I could no longer go to this mental health center for my meds and p-doc unless I had a therapist there. I suggested that we give it another try since she had seemed regretful about a couple of the things that I had mentioned that didn't work for me. I have only seen her one time since all of that transpired and she's been out of the country for the past 3 weeks. I see her tomorrow and I really hope that she will answer a few basic questions about her trip or else I'm going to be really upset!

She pretty much said that I can ask her questions and that she may want to know why I want to know but that she would be a little more open. We shall see...

I will post in the "In session today" thread after my appointment with her tomorrow.

BTW, thanks for this topic as I was really tempted to just ghost her and am curious how popular that option is.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Well ex T and I had a call to end things. I'm not sure it brought closure or was helpful but at least I didn't have to pay for it.

Current T? Well I've posted about her here. I don't know if we are done or not. I emailed her over 2 weeks ago and nothing since. I assume we will email at some point.

I did the never-show-up-and-hang-up-when-they-call-to-enquire thing with a T I saw about 10 years ago.

One last session (after a played-out-on-PC agonizing should-I-shouldn't-I over several weeks) with former T.

Current T -- considering that she's super crafty and knew all along as to when exactly I'd wanted to fire her (but remained mum on the topic until last week), I believe I'll have to carefully think through a termination strategy.

I don't feel a need to make the therapist feel good about themselves or a need give them an explanation. I have no problem just not going back. I would let them know I was cancelling the appointments - but I would do that so they could find some other client to fill the slot.

I said "other". The first one I tried to see I stomped out during the first session because he was a pompous *****, and of course never called to explain he didn't deserve it. The 2nd one, I just stopped making appointments because we had absolutely zero connection (I know this now, I didn't know it then, I just knew she wasn't helping me at the time) and she never attempted to find out why. Current t, we are in the process of talking about what I want to do now... I suppose that's "other" again, because it doesn't really fit the poll.

In the past, I just called and left a message canceling the appointment and then never rescheduled. With current T, I would not do that because I feel that we have a genuine relationship and care about each other as people. Whether that is true for him or not, it is true from my end and I have a certain internal standard for how I treat those I care about.

I checked the first three options in the poll for how I would possibly do it, depending on the situation. In reality, I told both of my T's over email, I felt like stopdog, why pay for that. One of them did not accept it for a while and kept emailing, even called me out of the blue so I dumped him on the phone as well in a quite aggressive manner. I can imagine maybe wanting to discuss it and then I would do it in person, but that has not happened yet (to pay for a session just to do that). I wouldn't simply walk away without telling the T as I see therapy as a professional relationship and would consider not saying anything disrespectful, but it's me and I think it's okay to simply not go back without explaining. I did provide quite extensive explanations to them though because I felt it was useful for me and thought perhaps for the therapist as well.

My experience was that the T's did not simply accept ending without trying to talk me out of it.

All 3 times I quit or tried to quit were when the t cancelled on a scheduled appointment and there were no other scheduled appointments so I just didn't call back and schedule one. With this current t, she called me when I didn't call the clinic back to reschedule. We were very early on .. like visit 5 or so when there was a same day cancelation for being sick. She called me the very next day when no appointment had been scheduled. I left that phone call under the concept that I was done with her; however, she said she would not put in the termination paperwork for a while in case I changed my mind. 3 wks later after not wanting to go through the whole starting over with someone else, I scheduled another appointment with her. I liked her, I didn't trust her, and didn't know if she would work in the long run in regards to my sexuality and gender but thought I would give her a try. I'm glad I did.

At this point, i think we're just seeing who outlives whom

I've never terminated, but when I tried, I used email and simply said I was done. It was more out of spite and wanting to see if T cares. If I had to terminate now I would likely do it in person, simply out of respect for the other person - unless I was terminating under really bad terms - then screw them!

But you HAVE to live, for Ryan Gosling!

My first T I told that I would rather try CBT. She took it really personally and made me feel really guilty so I went back for some more sessions. Eventually i MESSAGED her saying I wasn't strong enough to argue about it but that I didn't want to go back. It was a really long message as I felt quite bad about it!

Another I kind of hinted in the session (hadn't totally made up my mind anyway) and then I emailed. For me there is no escaping the awkward.

I had 3 T's over a 10 year span. The 1st one I terminated her because she was rushing me. 3 sessions in and she asked me when I was planning on actually doing some real work. Yeah, I don't think so. Goodbye. Done.
2nd T just didn't work out because he was also the T one of my bosses was seeing and despite several request to not be booked back to back with her-those request were not honored. He also brought her up a lot in my sessions and therefore created a big conflict of interest. Also, since he was bringing her up in my sessions-I wondered if I was being brought up in hers. So, I saw him a few times and then at the end of a session just told him I was done. He called a few weeks later and told me he was putting my file away and asked me if I was sure I didn't want to continue before he closed it. I told him I thought I was very clear that I didn't want to continue and told him to take care.
3rd T-which is the most recent-I think I probably talked about how that went. I terminated after 8 years over text message. I tried to honor the relationship and go in to talk with her face to face, but did not return my phone calls. Then she sent a letter and then I sent her a sarcastic termination email just to get the last word.
Current T-I just started with her on Feb 1st and my sessions are bi-weekly so I won't see her again until the 15th. I'll come back and let you know as soon as she screws up.

In the past, I called and left a message. I think I may have told one in person, but it was obvious that it wasn't going to work in that case because I couldn't even talk about why I was there.

I emailed my current therapist once to terminate, but then changed my mind because it felt horrible to think of not going back. I would like to think that a good termination would be in person and planned over time together, but I do not want that day to come.

Why is TELEPHONE not on this list?

LOL.

My vote is for telephone, I know, I know, a dying relic of the past, actually verbalizing something to someone at a distance.

The pollster's lot is not an easy one. - stopdog

I also said I would call and leave a message. I would not chat with the woman about it. But that is why "other" was a choice.

I dumped eight t's after mt first t left me. Several times i just walked out and said i was not coming back, some times I just didnt make another appointment, one of them i realized about five minutes in that she was horrible and so i just got up and walked out.

With my last T, I actually wanted to do that whole reviewing the therapy process and asking him for feedback and for his observations what other areas he thought might be useful for me to work on independently. He said in the beginning that he would do such a thing... but then refused in the end when I asked for it. Instead, he said he felt we were not done and convinced me to continue. Then I emailed him matter-of-fact that I was stopping and then he did not argue. Funny thing is that later on I changed my mind and contacted him with the idea of going in sometimes for occasional sessions and he agreed. So that's where we really are now, it wasn't truly terminated just as far as regular sessions go.

I misread the title of this thread just now. How to Trump your Therapist.

Possible poll answers:

Wrong!
The best. No really. The best. And I really mean that. The best.
Loser!
Nobody does being a therapist better. I mean nobody.
Bad!
Fake. Absolutely not even real. Totally fake therapist.
So called therapist.
Amazing. Absolutely amazing. I found them, so they are amazing. I only find amazing therapists. I don't even bother with the ones that aren't amazing.

I think DBC would describe herself with 2 or 4.