Extra session

I've been really struggling this week and now T has offered me an extra session. I really want it but am so ashamed to say yes and admit I need her. And I'm scared I won't be able to say what I need to say to her, that I'll chicken out. I'm also terrified of her response, that it won't be helpful as it often isn't when I need to discuss with her something about my being upset about her and me.

If she offered it, go ahead and take it. Nothing to be ashamed of. I took an extra one from my T last month (and she never offers them), and it really helped.

Take the extra session! There is no reason to be ashamed. And tell her everything, including that you're terrified of her response and worry it will not be helpful.

Thank you guys for the support. I emailed her back and accepted the session. I told her how hard it was for me to accept and thanked her very much for offering. And she wrote back that it's just lucky she had a cancellation. Somehow that just made me feel so hurt. I can't even put it into words why but I felt awful. Am I just being too sensitive, or would it upset you guys too? I'm so messed up.

What about her response is causing you such distress? Isn't it lucky she had an extra session you could take?

I wonder if you are reading something different into it than she likely meant? Could she have just meant that she's glad she was able to offer you an extra session because she had this cancellation?

I am sorry you are feeling so bad - it sounds good that you are going for the extra session. That was great you were able to accept it.

Yes, this is how I'd read it, too. That she's glad she was able to give you the session, as without the cancellation, she wouldn't have been able to.

I guess what hurts me is knowing that she wouldn't have figured out a way to squeeze me in somehow anyway if she didn't have this cancellation.

Well, you don't know that. You don't know if, you had said, "I really could use another session this week," if she wouldn't have found a way to squeeze you in.

I think you should tell her how you felt, though. Because it seems like you have issues accepting care from other people. You feel *ashamed* to want care when you need it, and when you receive the care you need, you seem to be looking for evidence that the person doesn't actually care about you.

I think going into relationships and being (1) unable to ask for care and (2) unable to accept care and (3) unable to believe someone really cares....those are real issues to work on. I speak from experience here.

I strongly suspect the reality is your therapist really cares for you and wants to help you.

I think it's great that she is able to see you but I think her wording could have been more gracious. The phrase 'you are just lucky that -' seems harsh to me, no matter what the context. The same with 'lucky for you - '. When someone is in a difficult space they don't need to be told they are 'lucky' - for ANYTHING.

Anyway - well done for accepting, and perhaps you could bring up the question of language and the way things are formulated...