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  #51  
Old Feb 15, 2017, 10:17 AM
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junkDNA junkDNA is offline
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i text more than i email. im trying to not text as much...
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  #52  
Old Feb 16, 2017, 07:15 PM
Anonymous47147
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t and i text as well.
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  #53  
Old Feb 17, 2017, 09:16 AM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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my T after 5 years of seeing her just gave me her cell and permission to text her if i needed to contact her . not quite sure what that means but it is strange to me .in fact it scares me some what .i worry about the ability to text her or contact her at any time . it has never been an option for me so i have never had to choose to control myself . i did go through a time i would send my T e mails when i was upset and she had to put a stop to it .it was only a few times but still. and a few out of control calls also . but these were when she was at the clinic . she called me about a schedule mix up yesterday and told me i could text her if it needed to be fixed . so i texted her and she had not gotten back to me .anyway she ended up calling me and we met .she then after session texted me saying thank you for getting back to her and that we are now back on track. i did not respond to that at all because it scared me to .but she seems to keep on trying to face time me lol i am sure it is not intentional so i do not accept face time requests from her either lol . it is a new experience for me with this t.
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  #54  
Old Feb 17, 2017, 11:09 AM
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lucozader lucozader is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: UK
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I have my T's e-mail address and telephone number but have never used them for anything other than scheduling/lateness issues. Whether or not it's okay to contact him about other things has never been mentioned. It was never mentioned by either of my previous therapists either, and has never been mentioned in my training as a therapist. I get the impression it's something that's not generally done (or done as often) in the UK, though perhaps other local clients might want to correct me on that?

I do think boundaries are very important with this sort of thing - I pay my T for an hour of his time every week, when and how would I be paying for him to read or respond to my texts and emails? Perhaps I have a slightly different perspective on that as someone who wants to work as a therapist themselves in the near future!

Having said all that I would love to be able to contact my T in this way, being without him all week can be excruciating. I feel very jealous of those of you who can. But would I trust myself with it? Would I end up harassing him, or saying crazy things? I'm not sure... maybe it's better the way it is.

Edit to add: I've considered asking him whether this is something that's okay with him or not, but I don't think I could do it. The fact that I feel so scared of even asking is probably important in itself... what does that say about me and my relationship with him?
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  #55  
Old Feb 17, 2017, 04:16 PM
anon11317
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucozader View Post
I have my T's e-mail address and telephone number but have never used them for anything other than scheduling/lateness issues. Whether or not it's okay to contact him about other things has never been mentioned. It was never mentioned by either of my previous therapists either, and has never been mentioned in my training as a therapist. I get the impression it's something that's not generally done (or done as often) in the UK, though perhaps other local clients might want to correct me on that?

I do think boundaries are very important with this sort of thing - I pay my T for an hour of his time every week, when and how would I be paying for him to read or respond to my texts and emails? Perhaps I have a slightly different perspective on that as someone who wants to work as a therapist themselves in the near future!

Having said all that I would love to be able to contact my T in this way, being without him all week can be excruciating. I feel very jealous of those of you who can. But would I trust myself with it? Would I end up harassing him, or saying crazy things? I'm not sure... maybe it's better the way it is.

Edit to add: I've considered asking him whether this is something that's okay with him or not, but I don't think I could do it. The fact that I feel so scared of even asking is probably important in itself... what does that say about me and my relationship with him?
I am also in the UK and am able to text my counsellor between sessions. I do however try to only text her one day between sessions as I appreciate she lets me text her. Sometimes I just send a quick text to check she is still there due to my abandonment issues. She says she is there if I need her between sessions so I'm very lucky and she is an amazing counsellor. I do try not to take advantage of being able to contact her between sessions.
I don't think not being able to ask your counsellor if you are able to do this means you don't have a good relationship. To be honest I don't ask mine for anything because I just find it hard to ask anyone for anything.
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  #56  
Old Feb 19, 2017, 12:32 AM
20oney 20oney is offline
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I've managed to only email my T the one time in about 9 days. It is ridiculous that this is an achievement... I always want to just check in and reassure myself that she is still there. But I can never bring myself to emailing unless there's some reason or excuse to do so.. I really hate this. It's like a craving for the attention of someone who cares, someone who isn't going to say the wrong thing, or judge. I probably get the most out of my Therapy when I do email. The second I am face to face with her, I lose all of the need for her. My mind goes blank and I struggle to speak.

So emailing has been extremely beneficial for me
  #57  
Old Feb 19, 2017, 02:18 AM
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velcro003 velcro003 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20oney View Post
I've managed to only email my T the one time in about 9 days. It is ridiculous that this is an achievement... I always want to just check in and reassure myself that she is still there. But I can never bring myself to emailing unless there's some reason or excuse to do so.. I really hate this. It's like a craving for the attention of someone who cares, someone who isn't going to say the wrong thing, or judge. I probably get the most out of my Therapy when I do email. The second I am face to face with her, I lose all of the need for her. My mind goes blank and I struggle to speak.

So emailing has been extremely beneficial for me
I pretty much could say this word for word, so I understand.
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  #58  
Old Feb 19, 2017, 03:44 AM
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satsuma satsuma is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: UK
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I can call, text and email my T when I want to (I'm in the UK too). Now that I'm cutting back on sessions, I try not to do it very much, and I generally find I don't want or need to contact him so much. But we have a phone call scheduled for every 2 weeks, and when we last spoke he reminded me that I can contact him if I need to, before the next session.
When I started therapy my T encouraged me for quite a long time to contact him between sessions, before I ever did. One thing I said to him was that he couldn't possibly have all his clients contact him between sessions, because it would be ridiculous and he would never have any time off. And he said, not everybody is doing the same therapy and not everybody has the same needs. Which I took to mean that he doesn't encourage it for some people, but he was encouraging it for me. So I understand it depends on what kind of therapy you are doing, as well as on the T.
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  #59  
Old Feb 25, 2017, 09:16 PM
20oney 20oney is offline
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I think it can be really helpful for a T to set boundaries in regards to out of session contact. Even when they are totally comfortable with being contacted, I think for the clients sake, there needs to be said boundaries so we know what stepping over the line is in this regard.

My T has never set boundaries which is a big struggle for me. I understand that she doesn't mind the emailing, and without it, we would be gaining even less progress, but I would like to have something to say ' this is too much ' or what ever... :S
  #60  
Old Feb 25, 2017, 09:25 PM
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velcro003 velcro003 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20oney View Post
I think it can be really helpful for a T to set boundaries in regards to out of session contact. Even when they are totally comfortable with being contacted, I think for the clients sake, there needs to be said boundaries so we know what stepping over the line is in this regard.

My T has never set boundaries which is a big struggle for me. I understand that she doesn't mind the emailing, and without it, we would be gaining even less progress, but I would like to have something to say ' this is too much ' or what ever... :S
What my T has said in response to this sort of issue (i also was worried i was emailing her too much), was that even if i was emailing her every day, she wouldn't think i was "too much," she would think that maybe i would need more help than she could provide at that moment--but that it would be something we would discuss.

If your T is a good T, I hope she would think the same way.
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  #61  
Old Mar 04, 2017, 06:44 AM
20oney 20oney is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003 View Post
What my T has said in response to this sort of issue (i also was worried i was emailing her too much), was that even if i was emailing her every day, she wouldn't think i was "too much," she would think that maybe i would need more help than she could provide at that moment--but that it would be something we would discuss.

If your T is a good T, I hope she would think the same way.
I think that is a great thing for a T to say! I have a hard time at asking the questions regarding this kind of boundary, and wish that T would just read my mind and say it's ok, or not so ok.. I generally assume that it is ok, and don't email more than i'm comfortable with I guess? It's good, and bad not to have set boundaries I guess
  #62  
Old Mar 04, 2017, 07:21 AM
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Erebos Erebos is offline
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I am in the UK and my Pdoc says, no, non,niet, nixie.
NO contact between sessions and scheduling issues are why he has a receptionist.
I totally respect this, have zero issue with it. Infact not having that option is a relief, I am never wondering, "should I contact T? Can I deal with out him?"
I just have to,if needs be I make journal point about it and move on.

Having the option would only cause more stress from choosing if it was the right thing to do.
Was this the one that over stepped the mark.
Then there is the waiting fora reply, I see what that does to a lot of you guys....And no thanks, think I will give it a miss.
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Last edited by Erebos; Mar 04, 2017 at 07:42 AM.
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  #63  
Old Mar 04, 2017, 04:49 PM
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Miss Laura Miss Laura is offline
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Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,275
Our health system is different in the UK.... The NHS provides you with a Psychologist so we have to contact the office of your Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) and speak to them there but I have never done that. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so. I have contacted my CPN and Community Worker who are based there before but that was in relation to their call and or text. They call via a private number you can't call back on or a number you can't text back on
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