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  #1  
Old Feb 20, 2017, 11:20 PM
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Have Faith Have Faith is offline
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I am a very passive person, but both my therapist and psyche doc, which I've had for twelve years, feel I have learned every method and coping skill, which is true, but I still have not responded well, neither from therapy or medicine. My husband asked my pdoc if she could do anything more, maybe with medications, but she says she's giving me the optimum meds and that I need to learn to live with it. She's one of the best in the area, but has given up. My therapist is great, but I've lost all motivation and hope. I am so scared to fire them even though I know it would be in my best interests. Is there a way to fire them and not feel horrible. Btw, I have social anxiety and they are the only people beside my husband and two kids I talk to, I gave up all my friends years ago. Any ideas?
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  #2  
Old Feb 20, 2017, 11:41 PM
Anonymous37955
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Hi! Why are you scared to fire them? Do you want to keep them to talk with them because you have SA or you afraid to feel horrible firing them?
Thanks for this!
Schizoid_1
  #3  
Old Feb 21, 2017, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger View Post
Hi! Why are you scared to fire them? Do you want to keep them to talk with them because you have SA or you afraid to feel horrible firing them?
Ooh, both combined. It makes me extremely anxious almost to the point of panic and passing out. I've always been fearful of people, and of them being angry or disappointed. I feel lots of anxiety even when my husband raises his voice, so obviously he walks on eggshells around me. I'm a 51 year old woman and this has always been a problem...I guess I need to grow up sometime before I die..
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  #4  
Old Feb 21, 2017, 07:54 PM
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thesnowqueen thesnowqueen is offline
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If they have said that they have done everything they are able to do to help you then I don't think it would be considered 'firing them'. Particular psychiatrists and psychologists can be considered the best in the area but that doesn't mean that they are the ones best equipped to help you. A psychiatrist once told me that he didn't think it was good that professionals continued to counsel or prescribe for people for extended periods (like years and years) when their treatment was not actually helping. I changed therapist and Dr after 5 years and the new ones I got helped me a LOT more.

And...I kind of want to tell you off for this: "I guess I need to grow up sometime before I die", but my own self talk is sometimes just as abusive so I probably don't have the right to.
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  #5  
Old Feb 21, 2017, 07:57 PM
Anonymous37955
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I understand your fear. I don't like to let people down, too, but if it's something you have to do, then you go ahead and do it politely. This would be a step of growth for you. Do you want to stop therapy or to change the therapist and pdoc?
  #6  
Old Feb 22, 2017, 01:49 AM
Dawntreader Dawntreader is offline
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Maybe, at 51 years old, this is just how you are? Maybe you're just sensitive?

It's pretty normal to not be okay with people being angry at you. I wouldn't call that forcing others to walk on eggshells. Your husband shouldn't be raising his voice anyway unless you're doing seriously messed up things, in which case, I guess don't do those things. Are you in therapy so people can yell at you?

Twelve years is a ridiculous length of time to go to a therapist and not see a significant improvement. Frankly, I think they've been milking you for at least ten of the last twelve years if you're really not any better than you were when you started.
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CantExplain
  #7  
Old Feb 22, 2017, 04:22 AM
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SummerTime12 SummerTime12 is offline
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Would it help maybe to ease into it? Instead of immediately telling them you definitely want to find someone else, try bringing up the subject saying something along the lines of "lately I've been wondering if I should try a different treatment approach and get another professionals perspective on my situation. What do you think?"
Just a thought.
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CantExplain, here today, kecanoe
  #8  
Old Feb 22, 2017, 11:09 AM
here today here today is offline
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Can you ask your therapist about your concerns?

I have long felt that, for me, I have needed some kind of re-socialization or something in addition to the therapy for my internal problems and issues. I told my therapist that for years, and there is nothing like that.

So, I went to support groups, then eventually tried some interest groups on Meetup.com. It’s hard to describe how much terror I had trying that. But I was desperate, going nowhere with my life.

I had drifted away, too, from friends I had before my breakdown, but I’m a different person now, probably more true to who I always was, and sadly don’t fit in so much with my older friends any more. It was probably a “force fit” anyway, based on the way my personality had “forced fit” to my family of origin. Still sad, though, because I care about them. Maybe, if there’s still time in my life, I can find a way to reach out to them in a way where I can still be myself, too.
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  #9  
Old Feb 22, 2017, 08:46 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by here today View Post
I have long felt that, for me, I have needed some kind of re-socialization or something in addition to the therapy for my internal problems and issues. I told my therapist that for years, and there is nothing like that.
I asked Madame T to teach me some skills and she point blank refused to do so.
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  #10  
Old Feb 23, 2017, 01:13 AM
Anonymous37955
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Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
I asked Madame T to teach me some skills and she point blank refused to do so.
Why not?
  #11  
Old Feb 23, 2017, 01:47 AM
Anonymous37903
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Faith View Post
I am a very passive person, but both my therapist and psyche doc, which I've had for twelve years, feel I have learned every method and coping skill, which is true, but I still have not responded well, neither from therapy or medicine. My husband asked my pdoc if she could do anything more, maybe with medications, but she says she's giving me the optimum meds and that I need to learn to live with it. She's one of the best in the area, but has given up. My therapist is great, but I've lost all motivation and hope. I am so scared to fire them even though I know it would be in my best interests. Is there a way to fire them and not feel horrible. Btw, I have social anxiety and they are the only people beside my husband and two kids I talk to, I gave up all my friends years ago. Any ideas?
Ilive with what?
  #12  
Old Feb 24, 2017, 04:45 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger View Post
Why not?
She said that once my mind was healed I'd work out the skills for myself.
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  #13  
Old Feb 24, 2017, 06:54 AM
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lucozader lucozader is offline
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Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
She said that once my mind was healed I'd work out the skills for myself.
Oh wow, that is the lamest excuse.
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  #14  
Old Jul 16, 2017, 06:29 PM
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Have Faith Have Faith is offline
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Update, I decided to try a new therapy for my anx/dep called Ketamine Infusion Therapy...The psych doc that does it is surprised that my other pdoc hasn't made an effort to try anything new, so she is starting me on a different medication and doing a genetic test. I decided that this is my life and I need to do whatever I can to get some pleasure for the rest of it. I am searching for a much more progressive pdoc. I can't keep seeing the one giving me the treatments since she is not in our insurance network. I have learned not to give up just because a doctor gives up...thanks for the help!

Last edited by Have Faith; Jul 16, 2017 at 06:30 PM. Reason: Misspell
Thanks for this!
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  #15  
Old Jul 16, 2017, 06:34 PM
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Have Faith Have Faith is offline
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Originally Posted by Anonymous37903 View Post
Ilive with what?
To live with the anx/dep. It scared me when she said that, it was quite cruel and thoughtless, and she was very cold about it.
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  #16  
Old Jul 16, 2017, 10:30 PM
kecanoe kecanoe is offline
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I have wanted to try ketamine but there is no one in my area that offers it

I am glad you have not given up.
  #17  
Old Jul 17, 2017, 12:41 AM
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koru_kiwi koru_kiwi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Faith View Post
Update, I decided to try a new therapy for my anx/dep called Ketamine Infusion Therapy... I decided that this is my life and I need to do whatever I can to get some pleasure for the rest of it. I am searching for a much more progressive pdoc. I can't keep seeing the one giving me the treatments since she is not in our insurance network. I have learned not to give up just because a doctor gives up...thanks for the help!
good on ya!

i did something similar when it felt like i was getting no where after years of talk therapy with my T. i decided i wanted to start doing neurofeedback. i had hit rock bottom and knew that i needed to try something different because i had lost almost all hope of ever getting better. i wanted to enjoy life again, but i knew it was not going to happen if i stayed on the same path i had been traveling on. it was one of the best decision i had ever made..it literally saved my life.

for me it was quite empowering to do this, and i hope you are experiencing something similar.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
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