[CantExplain]

Is it part of T's role to gather small details and form a hypothesis? Should T take into account things observed or let slip as well as things explicitly stated? Is T a detective?

Or should T stick to things the patient actually wants her to know?

[growlycat]

I think my own therapist, especially my long term t, would look for evidence of bs from me. Is my story inconsistent? Does something seem off? I feel like there were times he did not believe me based on whatever mysterious evidence he picked up on. He challenged me and sometimes he had a point and sometimes it seemed unfair. Some t's seem more willing to give the patient the benefit of the doubt.

[unaluna]

Why do they call them Freudian slips? I think they learn as much from what is not said as from what is said. Im thinking back to one of my earliest sessions, when the t asked me about my relationship with my mother. I was like, she doesnt affect my life, shes a waitress. For example, one thing i did NOT say was, she always made me breakfast. I didnt say it because she never did. I did say that my brother made me breakfast until third grade. So the t hears all of that. You dont even KNOW what you didnt say. Imo.

[precaryous]

It depends on the T. I think I would like T to be more than she is.

PrevT would help me become aware. She noticed I forcefully exhaled (or gasped) when I was very anxious. She asked me what that was about. I didn't know I was doing anything. Then she mimicked the sound...which I immediately recognized.

Last session with T, we discussed a situation. It felt as if T was encouraging me to do a certain thing. I replied edgily, "I'm not ready...." T said, "Well, I'm not going to argue with you over it." Now, looking back, I wished T had explored the anger I was feeling.

Yes, I think part of a T's responsibility is to gather small details to make a hypothesis. And yes, they basically are detectives.

In my case, my T just knows when I'm hiding things from her. She's "seen it all", or so to speak. So based on her hypotheses or "detective work" (as one may put it), she may gently prod me to open up about the particular thing I'm hiding. For example, I may say, "I don't go out in public very often." Then she may think it could be a number of things: no friends, some kind of phobia, social anxiety... anything. Then she'll direct the conversation to something else, and quietly wait for me to say something like, "yeah, I'm always anxious". Then she tries to see if I have social anxiety by asking, "do you also feel anxious meeting new people or anxious when you talk to people?" which will then lead her to ask, "is that why you don't go out? Social anxiety?" (And she may ask these questions in the span of a few sessions instead of doing it all at once.)

They're sneaky like that And I think they are trained to be. Not because they're trying to forcefully pry your brain open for answers, but because they genuinely want to help you. At least that's my take on it.

[atisketatasket]

I dislike the simile. I hire therapists for support in crisis, not to bumble around like Inspector Lestrade. I am not interested in knowing what they think is wrong with me, I am interested in fixing what I think is wrong with myself. I know what I need better than they.

[thesnowqueen]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I dislike the simile. I hire therapists for support in crisis, not to bumble around like Inspector Lestrade. I am not interested in knowing what they think is wrong with me, I am interested in fixing what I think is wrong with myself. I know what I need better than they.

Did you always have such a strong sense of self or is it something you deliberately developed?

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by thesnowqueen

Did you always have such a strong sense of self or is it something you deliberately developed?

I had it when I was younger, then in my twenties it vanished for a decade or so under duress from life crises and bad relationships, I fell into passivity, and now I'm working on getting back to where I was. It is fairly easy with therapists as it is not like I didn't spend years analyzing what was wrong with my approach to life and what should be fixed. Less easy in personal relationships.

Of my therapists, I think only DBC minded that I wanted to steer the ship myself. I do listen to any suggestions they may have to accomplish goals.

[stopdog]

No. I do not see them as such nor would I allow one to act in such a way towards me.

[feralkittymom]

I don't think of it so much as what they should or shouldn't do, but rather what the client and situation are most in need of and willing to engage in. I've never needed much help in the area of analyzing an issue, but my T would have been of little help to me if he weren't alert to the emotional perceptions I couldn't see. But that has nothing to do with a detective information seeking. I think a flexible, continually evolving hypothesis keeps a therapy moving forward, otherwise it can become an aimless wandering. Even if it were possible for a T--or anyone in a relationship or interaction--to try to stick to only the perspective of one participant, I think that runs the risk of collusion. The only exception I can see would be a situation in which a very concrete skill was being acquired, but nothing like psychodynamic therapy.

[velcro003]

Interesting question. I don't think my T as a detective, but I think she notices things and keeps them to herself. She told me a few months ago that when I was super depressed when i first started seeing her, she said I moved really slow , like every movement was effortful. She has made connections that i never saw, but it was always when I was ready to hear it. So, I don't think of her as a detective, but just that she might notice things that I am not ready to deal with (avoidance, etc...), and keeps it to herself until she thinks I am in a place to hear it.

[kecanoe]

T3 reads body language brilliantly. I am learning to just let myself act however I feel tempted to instead of suppressing it. I don't know that I think of her as a detective, though. Nor do I think she has hypotheses about me. She is quite clear about what she thinks of me and my case, and will tell me what she is reading from body language if I ask her or if she thinks it is interesting. She can tell when I dissociate a little; she is better at that than anyone other than my husband. But I think that is a matter of training and experience and intelligence and intuition.

That is why I see her. I have been hiding my MI my whole life so it is hard for me to just quit doing that when I enter her office. But I value anything she has to say about my situation.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

T3 reads body language brilliantly. I am learning to just let myself act however I feel tempted to instead of suppressing it. .

I didn't realize it, but I think this is what I am doing with my T as well. The past two weeks I've seen her, I've been exhausted (which isn't something that is exactly new), and have just completely laid down on the couch, curled up in a ball. Minus having a blanket over me, I didn't realize until later, how vulnerable I let myself be with her.

She didn't bat an eye, or comment....but I bet she noticed the difference.

[Argonautomobile]

I think, yes, a good T should pay attention to things that are not explicitly stated, but I also think it's important not to overestimate them in this regard.

It can be hella difficult in any conversation to be straight-forward, and to say things that are difficult. Sometimes it seems bloody impossible to articulate something, and I've certainly wished that people could just magically get what I'm trying to say.

I think having that expectation of your T, though--expecting that they have some preternatural 'detective' abilities--is bound to set you up for disappointment.

I mean, as much as I'd like to think my T is working hard to get what I'm trying (and perhaps failing) to say, sometimes it seems like he's not really doing anything but sitting there, perhaps thinking about what's for dinner.

[Moment]

I think if the therapist is any good, he or she will be evaluating you from the second you walk in the door. How are you moving? How are you dressed? Do you talk about every member of your family except, say, your mother? etc. etc. etc. Not everyone is explicitly aware of what haunts them and not everyone can articulate what plagues them.

But they are also not mind readers. No one can be that.

[Salmon77]

I agree that Ts should be looking for cues and signs that more is going on, but I don't think they should have to be detectives or try to figure out secrets or whatever. If I want my T to know something I tell him, I'm not going to make him guess.

[seoultous]

How are we defining detective? Merriam-Webster defines it as a person whose job is to find information about something or someone. I like this broad definition. From the intake interview to weekly sessions, I would argue that a therapist fits that definition. A therapist who inquires how one is, what one feels, and what one wants, is therefore a detective. My t is brilliant at being a detective - I don't see the point of seeing someone who doesn't ask me what I need.

[skeksi]

I think my T is a detective in that sense as well. He's more perceptive of the nuances of my words and behavior than anyone else, and he is able to put it all together to help me view myself in a different light.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by seoultous

How are we defining detective? Merriam-Webster defines it as a person whose job is to find information about something or someone. I like this broad definition. From the intake interview to weekly sessions, I would argue that a therapist fits that definition. A therapist who inquires how one is, what one feels, and what one wants, is therefore a detective. My t is brilliant at being a detective - I don't see the point of seeing someone who doesn't ask me what I need.

Then every one who asks how you are is also a detective.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Then every one who asks how you are is also a detective.

No it has to be their JOB. Like its my job to bother you. Its a volunteeer position, but still it has it's reward's. See i do to use apostrophe's.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by unaluna

No it has to be their JOB. Like its my job to bother you. Its a volunteeer position, but still it has it's reward's. See i do to use apostrophe's.

But not double o's in too?

Okay, job, you're right - but then my dentist's receptionist who asks me how I am when I come in is also a detective. Uh uh.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

But not double o's in too?

Okay, job, you're right - but then my dentist's receptionist who asks me how I am when I come in is also a detective. Uh uh.

No no her job is just to make sure you are there and take your money. You need to come to detroit and learn about division of labor and assembly lines! We'll take you on a tour!

[MBM17]

I think at least once a week but usually more often that I wish my therapist were better at making connections outside of what I say. I wish he were more observant and analytical. (I've wondered if I'd need to find a psychoanalyst for that?) Managing this huge bipolar illness and all that comes with it just feels so overwhelming most of the time. I wish my therapist could bring more insight that he noticed from details and that I wouldn't have picked up on my own.

But then I wonder if I want that after all. I don't take well to people thinking they know me better than I do (but would it be an exception if it were with the authority of a therapist?) and detest people telling me what to do. I appreciate suggestions but not instruction. So maybe I wouldn't want a psychic therapist afterall.

I think I would, though. I wish my therapist could bring more direction into our therapy right now because I feel so overwhelmed right now by my illness.

[*Laurie*]

There is not a single answer to the question of whether a therapist is a detective or not. The answer depends upon what type of therapy, what the goal of therapy is, how long the client and therapist will be together, and so on. Also life stages make a difference. Most likely someone in their 20's would have different therapy reasons and goals than someone in their 60's.

my t is definitely a detective, and she is very good at it!
it helps me a lot for her to be that way.