Big Confessions

I hope I will find the courage to tell her about the psychosis I went through a few years ago. It is embarrassing to me.

That I shoplift. I will never tell her that, even though she outright asked me at the beginning of therapy when she was trying to figure out what shameful thing I was having so much trouble telling her about (which was SH)

That I pulled out my hair on one part of my scalp. It is a lot better than it was a year ago, though i still have minor set backs where I pull more out/scrape at the skin.

One thing that maybe I will tell her in the future (the first two i will never tell anyone) is about a same sex experience with a friend when we were kids. I don't know if I'll ever share that either.

I'm yet to tell T that I love her but I plan on telling her soon. I also plan on telling her about the automatic sui thoughts that like to pop up even when I'm not that upset.

I do pull out my hair sometimes but not enough to leave balled patches so I've never really considered it a huge problem.

I hold so much inside and i wish I could tell her but I don't know how as of yet. My eating disorder has gotten worse and there are things that i told her that doesn't bother but I guess some extent it does. There are bigger things but it's hard for me to admit them.