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#1
Sep 04, 2007, 02:01 PM
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Ok, I've been in therapy for almost three years now and objectively have made a lot of progress. I struggled with depression so bad I could almost not function for along time and the depression seems to be better. There are no significant stressors in my life, in some ways I've got it made but I feel no joy! My life feels empty and I am joyless. Even though I don't feel depressed the flip side is I really don't feel much of anything. It seems like I have lost my capacity to feel much pleasure in life. I use to love my therapy sessions but it seems like in the last few months even the pleasure of that is gone. I go but seems like I have nothing to say and I struggle with being in this joyless spot in my life. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know if it really is depression and I am just deluding myself into thinking that I am better. I'm confused. Do any of you feel like this about your therapy? Sometimes I think about just stopping it all and not go anymore. I don't want to focus on me anymore. Its like I'm tired of myself and being who I am because who I am does not bring me any joy anymore. I use to like myself, use to feel excited about life, felt engaged but now I just feel empty.
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#2
Sep 04, 2007, 05:56 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
LittleMouse said: Ok, I've been in therapy for almost three years now and objectively have made a lot of progress. I struggled with depression so bad I could almost not function for along time and the depression seems to be better. There are no significant stressors in my life, in some ways I've got it made but I feel no joy! My life feels empty and I am joyless. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I'm not sure I can be of much help. But I would think that being joyless is a stressor. Wonder if you can examine that joylessness? Maybe you just don't think it is safe to feel joy about things that you really care about.
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#3
Sep 05, 2007, 01:51 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
LittleMouse said: I use to love my therapy sessions but it seems like in the last few months even the pleasure of that is gone. I go but seems like I have nothing to say and I struggle with being in this joyless spot in my life. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Hi LittleMouse I am so sorry you are struggling right now... i know you said a few weeks back that you were thinking of cutting down your therapy sessions from once a week to once every two weeks... did you go ahead with that? or i guess even if you are still thinking about it... perhaps that has had more of a deep impact on you and your relationship with your T than you might think... i know you said you have/had a strong attachment to your T, that you were able to find joy in that relationship not so long ago... and speaking for myself when i have thought maybe its time to cut down, the sense of loss seriously impacts every area of my life... hence i am still going twice a week at this point! i really hope you feel better soon... take care... Nikki x
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in dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.........  
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#4
Sep 05, 2007, 04:46 AM
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Hey. Sounds like something to work on in therapy. What is holding you back from feeling joyful?? Could take a bit to sort that out...
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#5
Sep 05, 2007, 04:50 PM
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Thank you all for your posts and suggestions and insight. I will take to heart all that you have said and maybe part of the problem is that I feel a kind of grief over cutting down on my sessions. I am very attached to my therapist and some how getting better has overtones of loss in some ways. I feel like I am loosing some connection with my therapist. Perhaps this is why I have a problem feeling good about feeling better. I know it sounds crazy and all but that may be part of the problem. Thanks again to you all and I will continue to work on this issue.
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#6
Sep 05, 2007, 05:23 PM
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Well, I don't know about feeling loss over missing my T. Mainly because I have just started and am still trying to feel comfortable and not stare at the floor the whole time. However, I do know what you are saying about not feeling any joy in your life. Over the past few months I have found that things that once brought me pleasure and joy no longer interest me. This has been a great source of stress for me and has me obsessing over WHY. So I would say loss of joy/pleasure could be a major stressor in you life at the moment.
__________________
"Joy is your sole's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to.You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More." (Sara Ban Breathnach) |
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