I thought this might be a fun thread... What is your story? You know... when did you seek help, why, how long you've been at it, etc.. I think it would be cool if I could relate to some people

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I first sought help 3 years ago. I went to my school's counseling services and was Dx'ed with ADHD, GAD, OCD, and depression. I just wanted to get help for my severe anger and concentration issues, but I felt they didn't understand me when they gave me a bunch of Dx's that made no sense. "Depression? I am NOT depressed! Anxiety? Oh hell no! OCD? What the f_ck?" I thought it all was a load of b_llshit and that it didn't explain my anger. I also didn't like that they were pushing meds on me, so I basically ran away

Fast forward 2 years later. Graduated from school. Anger and concentration were significantly worse, so my friend convinced me to get help again. Started therapy for the first time, and my therapist basically said I should see a psychiatrist for medication. "I can't tell you what's wrong with you, but a psychiatrist can help you figure out if medications may help." That's when I was re-Dx'ed with ADHD, GAD, and OCD. Then my depression Dx was changed to major depressive disorder. Tried an antidepressant. Was getting 4-6 hrs of sleep a night instead of my normal 10 hrs; felt revved up and euphoric? Dx changed to bipolar.

Did a psychological evaluation after that. Same thing: GAD, ADHD, Bipolar. OCD was taken away. Did yet another psycholgical evaluation. Same thing: GAD, ADHD, bipolar. Whatever.

And here I am today. 25 and been in therapy for 1.5 years

I was just thinking as I read this that one upon a time is jump at the chance to tell my story.
14yrs of therapy has changed that. The need I use to have has been met. Plus changed my understanding of my story.


I guess, that is my story

[Miss Laura]

I guess it all started in September 2009 when I first went to my GP and said I think I have depression. Then in December 2009 until July 2010 when I first saw a Counsellor. I had been off work due to depression. Then I started seeing a Psychiatrist in March 2010 and a Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) in January 2011. Then I saw a Support Worker from April 2011 until January 2015. Then I saw a Community Support Worker in July 2014 and a Peer Support Worker March-December 2016 and now a Psychologist January 2017 ongoing.

So it all started when I reached out to my GP and said HELP! I am struggling. I had a fab GP who was very caring and supportive. She has since left and I have had a lot more people in my life who have all been just as caring and supportive. I had to reach out I was sitting in my work stressed, crying and just feeling miserable. I was masking it all by drinking heavily and working my butt off just to keep myself and my mind busy. I am lucky I have all this support and that I have had the opportunity to meet this amazing support network of mine. I have so many memories and great words of wisdom that I will always treasure.

[nottrustin]

I didn't seek help.. my family started with a new family doctor. The first appointment I took my boys
She could tell I was overwhelmed and frustrated. And said side contact me if you need anything. A few weeks later I had my appointment and I was a wreck after receiving a call from hubby as I was walking in. We talked briefly but I said I was fine. Again she said if I need anything to call. A few weeks later I ended up going back. She started early on meds but I am very sensitive to all meds and had lots of side effects. I saw her a lot and she worked so hard. She wanted to refer me to a Pdoc and therapist. I refused, I didn't trust anybody else. One day while talking to my best friend she encouraged me to see a T. The next time pcp brought it up I at least entertained the idea. She told me it would only go for a few months. She knew that working were I did I knew a l a lot of therapists. Since pcp and I worked for the same facility, policy was she supposed to refer me with the department I work (I didnt know everbody there). Pcp broke policy and said there was only one person she trusted to work with me. There is one I Pdoc group in our area so I really didn't want to go there. After a while I did agree to see one provider that I had worked with and felt comfortable with. I have been with that T for 8 years...

[rainboots87]

Almost exactly 10 years ago, I was a sophomore in college totally in denial about my eating disorder. I started purging and went to the campus counseling center just to stop that habit. I recovered about a year and half later, then relapsed when my depression came back the next year. I've dealt with dysthymia (chronic low grade depression), major depressive episodes, and anxiety disorder-nos over the years. Accumulated some trauma in there as well, so I guess I have to work through that eventually. On my 3rd long term T, but have been in therapy off and on over the years. At least I don't have an ED anymore though.

[edit] Oh, I've also been on meds to help anxiety and depression for about 4 years now. It makes a huge difference in my quality of life. Glad I tried it again after a year of no luck with different side effects.

[feileacan]

Almost 4 years ago I came to conclusion that something is wrong with me and I'm not able to figure it out on my own. I wasn't sure if there is anyone who would be able to understand what's wrong with me and help me but I decided to try. I decided that I will only start seeing a T if I have a confidence that this T gets at some level what's wrong with me and I will not stay with anyone just because I decided to see them once (I have a history of doing things because I felt forced to for some reason to although I didn't want to). I decided that when I've talked to/seen 10 therapist and none of them seems right then I conclude that no one in this world can help me and I just have to accept that.

I made an internet search and I found someone about whom some people wrote that they didn't like him because he asked about childhood and didn't offer concrete advice. I thought that there could be a chance for me because I figured that anyone who offered direct advice or wanted to work towards certain goals had not even a chance to understand what's wrong with me. I called to this person, his practice was full, he referred me to his colleague, who happened to be a psychoanalyst and is my T now. I new nothing about psychoanalysis, expect that some time ago there was a guy called Freud who was obsessed with sexual stuff and probably a pervert. I went to meet my T first time and I was stunned that he seemed to understand that I have serious problems and he took me seriously. He saw the pain in me no one ever (including me) had seen before. He also understood how alone I had been and he told me that I'm not alone with those things anymore. That's how it started.

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

I guess it all started in September 2009 when I first went to my GP and said I think I have depression. Then in December 2009 until July 2010 when I first saw a Counsellor. I had been off work due to depression. Then I started seeing a Psychiatrist in March 2010 and a Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) in January 2011. Then I saw a Support Worker from April 2011 until January 2015. Then I saw a Community Support Worker in July 2014 and a Peer Support Worker March-December 2016 and now a Psychologist January 2017 ongoing.

So it all started when I reached out to my GP and said HELP! I am struggling. I had a fab GP who was very caring and supportive. She has since left and I have had a lot more people in my life who have all been just as caring and supportive. I had to reach out I was sitting in my work stressed, crying and just feeling miserable. I was masking it all by drinking heavily and working my butt off just to keep myself and my mind busy. I am lucky I have all this support and that I have had the opportunity to meet this amazing support network of mine. I have so many memories and great words of wisdom that I will always treasure.

That's great!

I forgot to say that I mentioned the possibility of ADHD to my GP when I was 20, and she totally disregarded it. "You'll have to find someone else." That's literally what she said. No explanation of what steps I needed to take, and no psychologist, therapist, psychiatrist, etc recommendations. Nothing. Then I never did anything for 2 years.

What a world of a difference it makes when you have a good GP! I'm glad your GP was able to help you like that. I hope you're still doing well

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I didn't seek help.. my family started with a new family doctor. The first appointment I took my boys
She could tell I was overwhelmed and frustrated. And said side contact me if you need anything. A few weeks later I had my appointment and I was a wreck after receiving a call from hubby as I was walking in. We talked briefly but I said I was fine. Again she said if I need anything to call. A few weeks later I ended up going back. She started early on meds but I am very sensitive to all meds and had lots of side effects. I saw her a lot and she worked so hard. She wanted to refer me to a Pdoc and therapist. I refused, I didn't trust anybody else. One day while talking to my best friend she encouraged me to see a T. The next time pcp brought it up I at least entertained the idea. She told me it would only go for a few months. She knew that working were I did I knew a l a lot of therapists. Since pcp and I worked for the same facility, policy was she supposed to refer me with the department I work (I didnt know everbody there). Pcp broke policy and said there was only one person she trusted to work with me. There is one I Pdoc group in our area so I really didn't want to go there. After a while I did agree to see one provider that I had worked with and felt comfortable with. I have been with that T for 8 years...

Great story

I'm glad your pcp helped you out so much. As I mentioned to Miss Laura, mine was useless. Didn't offer meds, help, recommendations, etc.. So you are very fortunate to have such a wonderful, caring pcp, and I'm glad you got the help you needed. Sounds like this therapist was a great choice too.

Like I mentioned in my first post, i had a friend who recommended me help too. I don't know where I'd be without that friend. Sounds like you had a similar caring friend

Originally Posted by rainboots87

Almost exactly 10 years ago, I was a sophomore in college totally in denial about my eating disorder. I started purging and went to the campus counseling center just to stop that habit. I recovered about a year and half later, then relapsed when my depression came back the next year. I've dealt with dysthymia (chronic low grade depression), major depressive episodes, and anxiety disorder-nos over the years. Accumulated some trauma in there as well, so I guess I have to work through that eventually. On my 3rd long term T, but have been in therapy off and on over the years. At least I don't have an ED anymore though.

[edit] Oh, I've also been on meds to help anxiety and depression for about 4 years now. It makes a huge difference in my quality of life. Glad I tried it again after a year of no luck with different side effects.

Sounds like you had a lot of things going on. I can only imagine how stressful that was.

I, too, struggled a lot in college. I know how rough depression on its own can be. Not fun.

I'm glad you're doing a lot better. Sounds like meds were the right choice

Originally Posted by feileacan

Almost 4 years ago I came to conclusion that something is wrong with me and I'm not able to figure it out on my own. I wasn't sure if there is anyone who would be able to understand what's wrong with me and help me but I decided to try. I decided that I will only start seeing a T if I have a confidence that this T gets at some level what's wrong with me and I will not stay with anyone just because I decided to see them once (I have a history of doing things because I felt forced to for some reason to although I didn't want to). I decided that when I've talked to/seen 10 therapist and none of them seems right then I conclude that no one in this world can help me and I just have to accept that.

I made an internet search and I found someone about whom some people wrote that they didn't like him because he asked about childhood and didn't offer concrete advice. I thought that there could be a chance for me because I figured that anyone who offered direct advice or wanted to work towards certain goals had not even a chance to understand what's wrong with me. I called to this person, his practice was full, he referred me to his colleague, who happened to be a psychoanalyst and is my T now. I new nothing about psychoanalysis, expect that some time ago there was a guy called Freud who was obsessed with sexual stuff and probably a pervert. I went to meet my T first time and I was stunned that he seemed to understand that I have serious problems and he took me seriously. He saw the pain in me no one ever (including me) had seen before. He also understood how alone I had been and he told me that I'm not alone with those things anymore. That's how it started.

Very interesting story

Sorry that you struggled so much with therapists early on. Though I'm glad that you made that internet search. Sounds like it was a lifesaver (literally).

I've never heard of psychoanalysts before, so you educated me on that!

It's good to hear that you finally found someone who understands you.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Great story

I'm glad your pcp helped you out so much. As I mentioned to Miss Laura, mine was useless. Didn't offer meds, help, recommendations, etc.. So you are very fortunate to have such a wonderful, caring pcp, and I'm glad you got the help you needed. Sounds like this therapist was a great choice too.

Like I mentioned in my first post, i had a friend who recommended me help too. I don't know where I'd be without that friend. Sounds like you had a similar caring friend

I have been very blessed to have providers who have a lot of patience. Unfortunately I lost my pcp but I still have the other 2

[passionfruit3]

I had no choice going to therapy as i couldn't walk at the time.conversion disorder is quite a witch.i was furious i did not want to see a therapist.maybe back then that was me being smart i should have resisted going into that building and perhaps id be normal.
I was also a mute spoke to only my family and friends every word other than that was" i dont know". They hated not getting anything out of me but i had to keep quiet because i didnt want anyone finding out the crap going on at home.as a result it took a long time to heal that and my psychosis. And today i still struggle with self harm and depression

[feileacan]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Very interesting story

Sorry that you struggled so much with therapists early on. Though I'm glad that you made that internet search. Sounds like it was a lifesaver (literally).

I've never heard of psychoanalysts before, so you educated me on that!

It's good to hear that you finally found someone who understands you.

Oh, I guess I wasn't clear. I never had to go through 10 unsuitable therapists because the guy I called was the first one and my T he referred to me was the first one I saw. This 10 was just a number I made up in my mind to decide when to stop looking because I had no idea if the person I'm looking for even exists.

[annielovesbacon]

I have struggled with depression and an eating disorder for years and years, probably starting when I was 13. I became incredibly depressed around age 15 and my ED also got a lot worse then. But I refused to ask for help and just kept telling myself "I'll get help when I go to college, then I don't have to tell my parents." Some how I made it to college and in my second semester of freshman year I started therapy and was DXed with bipolar 2. After a few months of therapy my T moved away and we had to terminate. I missed her so much and was very sad and I didn't want to restart therapy for awhile even though I needed it badly. I got back into therapy almost a year later and had my DX changed to major depressive disorder and severe generalized anxiety. I also in the past year have begun to develop a dependency on drugs and alcohol but i have yet to tell my T about that... I'm 19 and that's where I am now.

[annielovesbacon]

I forgot to add that when I was 16 or so my parents "found" (snooped) my diary and saw an entry where I said I wanted to die so they forced me to see a psychologist. But I was so furious and didn't want to be forced to get help, I wanted to get help on my own terms so I lied to the psychologist and she told my parents that I was fine, just some "teen angst" (ha). So that was the first time I saw a psychologist I guess but I didn't start seeing a therapist until I was 18 and in college.

[bounceback]

I spent my teen years self destructive breaking things mostly my own stuff, self harming and making feeble suicide attempts. I was bullied a lot in school and sexually abused by a family member and a neighbor and was angry. Also my parents were still married but my dad wasn't always around and was an alcoholic and emotionally abusive when he was around and had a severe temper. I also was bullied on the jobs. Lived in a small town where my mom was a nurse at the time and where appearances were everything. My parents were big on keeping jobs and having a great work ethic but I couldn't keep them because I had a choice go to work and be bullied or look like a failure in my parent's eyes. I felt stuck and could see no way out. My self esteem was so bad, it was pretty much nonexistent. One day when I was 27 after being bullied again for the millionth time, i attempted S****** by overdosing on a bottle of sleeping pills. Fortunately even though I was mad at myself for not succeeding at the time, I woke up and was really messed up and panicking so i called my mom, ended up drinking dish soap (still can't stand the smell to this day) to get rid of the pills until i got to the er and then had to drink deactivated charcoal or get my stomach pumped. I chose the charcoal. After being admitted overnight, I started seeing a therapist the next day. Luckily for me she was great, even though I didn't think so at first. I had met her the previous night in the ER. She helped me get started on my way to healing. I started slowly getting some self esteem back, found a different job for awhile, ended up moving out of my mom's house and out of that small town i grew up in to the city. That is the beginning. I am 54 now. This happened when I was 27. Been in pretty much one on one therapy for about 25 years. Doing well now, only see one on occasion if needed, pretty happy with the way I am now. It has been a long journey but so worth it. It hasn't been smooth sailing. I relapsed into self harm and had suicide thoughts not in a long time though. I have been in many groups and have seen probably 7 or 8 different therapists. Amazingly though i have only been hospitalized twice for mental health issues. I also had to deal with death of my parents and other situations in therapy. I think the most important thing is to try and not carry around too many secrets and be honest as you can. I don't really have any secrets anymore. I don't go around telling my life story to everybody only safe people. I don't have all the shame and guilt anymore.