[FairyLeaf]

Next week I am talking to my therapist about sex related issues with me talking to him about it. He knows I am struggling with it and we have planned to discuss it at next session. I don't talk about sex related topics as I fear it may lead to my childhood trauma which he knows about. I just don't talk about the physical abuse. Which makes me feel weird to talk about sex with him. It's not his gender as I would feel the same way with a female therapist.

I can talk, give advice, personal experience with sex, or give an opinion to anyone on the topic and not feel weird about it. It's because the topic of my past would come up in therapy and I avoid it, it wouldn't otherwise with someone who doesn't know anything.

I am not sure how to talk about it as I don't want to feel those things and no idea how a therapist could handle that, those reactions, whatever reactions I may have or won't have. I find it hard to grasp that. I also have a hard time believing I will be okay if I went that deep.

This whole thing came but because I am not happy with my current sex life. My sex life bothers me to the point, I am frustrated and need a release. My own release is not the same and I am fed up, it's like that is all, nothing else attached to it. With someone, there is more happening and it is a human with the same goal usually. I mainly am going to talk about my pathetic sex life and I am not sure how I feel about that, I almost feel I am coming out of a box that I am been in for a long time.

Is there an easy way of doing this? I mean it's not going to be easy but, I am so frustrated that it is affecting my life and now I feel I have some sex addiction now. Going without it for this long (few days) feels like someone ripped a carpet from my feet and I fell on my face. That, I am not sure if I can mention that because maybe it's something else.

This topic feel important but weird at the same time because he knows a lot about me, more than any sexual partner.

[SoConfused623]

I would print out this post and either read it to him or have him read it. Good luck!

[healed84]

When I had something really uncomfortable to talk about, I emailed him the details before our next session. When I showed up to the next session he brought the email up and asked me if I was ready to talk about it and I said no, and we talked about other things until I was ready to bring it. Maybe this is an option for you?

[SoConfused623]

Good Luck FairyLeaf, I hope that it goes well.

[subtle lights]

I was thinking about emailing in advace as well. This is what I did yesterday and I have never done it before with my therapist. I felt so frustrated after our session and I knew if I don't write it down I might not be able to talk about it next time. It's not the same situation, but I think it's similar. Even though the actual talk happens there, writing the email in advance can take some of the pressure out of it.