[Inner_Firefly]

Would it be weird to volunteer to do live painting at a conference where T will be speaking? I need an excuse to get in free, because I can't afford the $130 fee. The conference is for raising awareness of maltreatment of children, and I'm dying to see T speak!

[Argonautomobile]

I didn't know you did live painting. How cool! I think you should do it, for the experience if not to see T.

[Inner_Firefly]

Oh cool, thank you Argo, you're so supportive and nice! Happy to see you, hope you're well! I felt stupid asking this question, but glad it's not completely insane. Now I'll have to think of something to paint. And I hope T would be OK with this. Thank you and have a beautiful day!

[unaluna]

(((Firefly))) - i vote no. I pulled up your old posts cuz i wasnt sure what your background was on this? I think this falls under dual relationship. It took me a long time to process running into my t outside the office for a minute before or after sessions, like once a year or two! I would talk about the wish with her, and then decide together.

Have you run this idea by your therapist? You've done this before (gone to an event to hear your T speak), so you've heard her speak before. Do you really need to do this again? Just wondering if this is particularly healthy for you.

[AllHeart]

I guess it depends on what your true intentions for going to the conference are. If your reason for going is because you plan to actively engage in doing something for or genuinely care about the maltreatment of children, great. Bonus that you could see your t speak. I'd definitely consult with your t on it ahead of time. If your reason for going is only to see your t speak, then I don't think it wise or healthy for your sake. I think that might cross over into the stalking category.

[unaluna]

Yeah i wouldnt call it stalking exactly but its personal excitement behavior? Its imagination? Its whats keeping me stuck in my chair thinking about my gosling chiropractor instead of exercising or doing my chores? Its not good for us. Its not a real relationship. Carp.

[Elio]

Originally Posted by AllHeart

I guess it depends on what your true intentions for going to the conference are. If your reason for going is because you plan to actively engage in doing something for or genuinely care about the maltreatment of children, great. Bonus that you could see your t speak. I'd definitely consult with your t on it ahead of time. If your reason for going is only to see your t speak, then I don't think it wise or healthy for your sake. I think that might cross over into the stalking category.

crude, does that mean I shouldn't watch a presentation my T will be doing on Tuesday? It is open to the public and will be streamed live. I was going to watch it from home and primarily because it is T. The topic is kind of relevant...but really more because it is T. Ah man, sigh.

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by Elio

crude, does that mean I shouldn't watch a presentation my T will be doing on Tuesday? It is open to the public and will be streamed live. I was going to watch it from home and primarily because it is T. The topic is kind of relevant...but really more because it is T. Ah man, sigh.

Since you find the topic relevant and it is open to the public with free streaming, why not?

[Elio]

Originally Posted by AllHeart

Since you find the topic relevant and it is open to the public with free streaming, why not?

Mostly cuz...

Originally Posted by AllHeart

If your reason for going is only to see your t speak, then I don't think it wise or healthy for your sake. I think that might cross over into the stalking category.

Originally Posted by unaluna

Yeah i wouldnt call it stalking exactly but its personal excitement behavior? Its imagination? Its whats keeping me stuck in my chair thinking about my gosling chiropractor instead of exercising or doing my chores? Its not good for us. Its not a real relationship. Carp.

I know I am watching to see T, like 80-20 T to topic ratio. Seeing T is not the ONLY reason, it is the primary reason. = not a real relationship, right?

[ruh roh]

I don't see a problem with this--just let her know you'll be there because you want to hear her speak, and whether or not you want her to acknowledge you if you cross paths.

I thought all painting (as in verb) was live?

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Elio

crude, does that mean I shouldn't watch a presentation my T will be doing on Tuesday? It is open to the public and will be streamed live. I was going to watch it from home and primarily because it is T. The topic is kind of relevant...but really more because it is T. Ah man, sigh.

My first reaction is, youre not putting yourself at risk, and youre not putting your relationship with your t at risk, the way an outside meeting or dual relationship does.

Ive read articles in books by my t, and i think it gave me insight into how he saw his work, among other things. Im for more knowledge rather than less.

[Pennster]

Originally Posted by unaluna

My first reaction is, youre not putting yourself at risk, and youre not putting your relationship with your t at risk, the way an outside meeting or dual relationship does.

Ive read articles in books by my t, and i think it gave me insight into how he saw his work, among other things. Im for more knowledge rather than less.

I would really agree with this- I read a lot of the books my therapist wrote, and watched several of his lectures and interviews. It was actually extremely helpful- my therapist is extremely transparent anyway, but it helped my therapy to read more about the way he works so I could totally understand what was going on.

[Inner_Firefly]

Unaluna, thank you for sharing your experience! Yes you're right, I'll be sure to talk with T.

Lolagrace, yes, you're right, I should talk with my T to see what she thinks.

AllHeart, great advice, I'll consult with T and figure it out!

Ruh roh, Great to have your advice, I'll talk to her first. Yes, I meant live painting for as entertainment for the audience.

Pennster, yay I agree, it's helpful to hear a T's lectures to understand the way he works!

Elio, I understand your concerns, I asked my T the same thing and she said anything meant for the public is OK and fine to watch (even after I told her I was mostly watching something because it was her presentation) she was perfectly fine with it! Hope this helps you a little!