Poll: How often do you think our Ts think about us?

Out There · Mar 27, 2017, 09:46 AM

I've gone for only when something reminds them. EMDR T says " this reminded me of you " and says what it is and why. Regular T once said " you've been on my mind " . I do read T bloggers and one said she was exploring why one client was on her mind. If my T was exploring why I was on his mind I'm self exploring and equally wondering how I've got to be on his mind. But I don't know if he knows this - I might tell him !

Mar 27, 2017, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoConfused623

For instance if one of your colleagues confided in you something really big and personal, you'd be much more apt to think of them between the times you work on the project with them then if you just talked about random everyday stuff and the project of course.

Maybe... But for a therapist, isn't every client/project like that? Sharing very personal and sensitive information.

So it would be interesting to get comments on this from the practicing Ts on this forum

Pennster · Mar 27, 2017, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xynesthesia

Maybe... But for a therapist, isn't every client/project like that? Sharing very personal and sensitive information.

So it would be interesting to get comments on this from the practicing Ts on this forum

I tend to think that in a group of therapists the answers would probably be wildly diverse. Some therapists no doubt think about work and/or their clients more than others and some therapist/client pairings probably tend to take up more headspace than others.

Mar 27, 2017, 03:30 PM

Several times, my T talked about the necessity for therapists to be able to compartmentalize effectively. They have to keep one client separate from the next, and they have to keep their work separate from their personal life. Those that are unable to do that tend to have boundary issues and also end up burning out. That doesn't mean they never take a phone call or think about a client after hours, but they are able to do so and go back to whatever it was that was going on without it dominating their personal life. That also means once you leave their office and the next client comes in, they have to leave you in that one compartment so they can give that same level of attention to the next client.

retro_chic · Mar 27, 2017, 03:36 PM

I said once a week as I see her weekly. A couple of times when I have brought up a particular topic T has said something like "I was actually thinking about that earlier.." So she seems to think about me occasionally out of session which is nice to know. I wouldn't want her to think about me (or any client) too much as I think that could pretty quickly lead to burn out.

Trippin2.0 · Mar 27, 2017, 04:18 PM

I've never thought about them thinking about me...

nottrustin · Mar 27, 2017, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xynesthesia

When I think about this question, I compare it to my own work. How often do I think about one of the many projects I am involved in, including the colleagues I collaborate with regularly on the project? For me it really depends on many factors and varies over time. It can be that I don't think about a project for days/weeks at all and other times I'm preoccupied with the same thing all the time for a while. And everything in between. This is how, I imagine, it may work for Ts with clients. It may sound impersonal but we are their work projects after all. I am pretty certain it's very unlikely that a T would never think at all about a client they have been seeing for a while, between sessions. I don't think it's coming from caring per se, more from being involved in something and having invested some time and energy already.

That's how I look at it. Sometimes I will see something that will remind me of a specific client. I don't obsess over it but it happens. Then there are patients who trigger my Ptsd because of their past. Obviously the patient doesn't know but it is something that I have to process with my T.

Mar 27, 2017, 07:46 PM

mine says she thinks of me often, several times a day.
it always surprises me when she says that.

laxer12 · Mar 28, 2017, 03:28 PM

I think she thinks about me during our session (of course), if I send her an email, and maybe once during the week or before or after our session. I honestly don't think that she spends much time thinking about me but I guess I could be wrong.

I would love for her to spend time thinking about me since I spend so much time thinking about her. But that's what attachment does to us...

Moment · Mar 28, 2017, 05:03 PM

I know my therapist thinks of me when he reads certain articles or sees things on TV that remind him of me, because he tells me so.

But I also think he thinks about our sessions in ways he does not discuss with me, sometimes potentially a lot when there is intense stuff going on. I don't think he's obsessed with me or anything inappropriate. I just think when there's a period of very hard work going on in therapy, therapists get emotionally entangled and it is inevitably going to stir up thoughts and feelings in them.

UglyDucky · Mar 31, 2017, 03:42 PM

I voted once a week, probably just because I have a session. However, this issue came up recently during therapy. I made the comment that I was uncomfortable w/T seeing clients after my appt. - that I'm always watching the time, not wanting to run over and risk being dropped as a client. T asked, "or do you feel if I see someone after you, you disappear from my mind because someone else is in the room?" (I can't say exactly what T said, but it sounded a bit like T was waxing poetic...) I do think that Ts think about most or all of their clients more than once a week, depending on what's going on w/each client. I didn't ask T if they thought about me between appts. - I just left T's question hanging in the air.

Mar 31, 2017, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nottrustin

That's how I look at it. Sometimes I will see something that will remind me of a specific client. I don't obsess over it but it happens. Then there are patients who trigger my Ptsd because of their past. Obviously the patient doesn't know but it is something that I have to process with my T.

Are you a therapist?

Unrigged64072835 · Mar 31, 2017, 04:30 PM

Occasionally T will think of me outside of session, like checking out my Web site and Flickr account. I usually know when he does that, though.

ruh roh · Apr 01, 2017, 09:42 AM

I don't have any way to quantify it, but when I shared something from here about a therapist reported to have said he only thinks about the client when he looks at his calendar for that day, she said, "Seriously?" and shook her head, saying something about it not being likely that a therapist can not think about clients when not in the office. So I am assuming she thinks about me and other clients throughout the week, actively looks for information on things that will be helpful to us/them.

satsuma · Apr 01, 2017, 04:09 PM

I think every few days, because I think T truly does care, and sometimes we text.
But I realise it's less important for him than for me. I'm a client he cares about, one of many clients for him, past present and future. Whereas T is and always will be someone who had a huge impact on my life, and one of the people who cared the most about me in my whole life.
It's an imbalance, but I think I'm ok with it.

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