[MessyD]

So I don't know what's going on, this has happened few times in last month or so, I get really anxious on some days I have session. It's my only day off from work and I really want to be able to relax but it just doesn't happen. The session goes fine but couple hours later in just start feeling like I'm going crazy. Maybe I do think about it a lot, about everything that was said, but mostly about what I wanted to say but didn't because I was afraid or because I forgot, or it wasn't enough time. And then my mind starts going crazy, it's like voices in my head that never finish their thought but they don't stop either and it can drive me crazy. I actually ended up texting my therapist which I have never done before except for scheduling but I just didn't know what to do with myself. Then I felt stupid. I have a really hard time opening up and expressing my feelings and most of the time I just smile like an idiot and don't say many meaningful things although It has gotten a lot better in a year and a half. I'm still very reserved but much more willing to open up its just lot of times my mind goes completely blank which is weird cause usually it doesn't stop unless I'm working. But when I sit there, I am sort of comfortable and calm but i either forget things or can't come up with anything or can't even answer some question properly. And then after I feal silly again and start ruminating and cycle goes on. Not sure what I'm asking, I guess I just us wanted to know if anyone has similar a experience?

[wheeler]

Yes, I have felt exactly as you have described. My T allows texting and that has helped. I quite often send her short messages the day after a session and that has helped the therapy-hangover.
Did you find texting helpful?

[lucozader]

Yes, I am usually similarly worked up in the days after a session.

[Moment]

I have had sessions that have left me very discombobulated. What helped me is journaling. I had a notebook and after each session I would set aside an hour to write. I would sit down and write everything I could remember from the session--what I said, what the therapist said, what I thought. This helped calm me down but, what's more, it helped me remember for the next session. So before the next session, I would review my notes, and I would go into the session and say, "The last time I was here, when you did X, I felt Y..."

Would something like that help you? It would give you something to do to help calm down and then might also help you work out what you want to say in your next session.

[Elio]

Yes, I have felt that way both the blankness during session and the racing thoughts after. The blankness in session seem harder for me. I'll be sitting there and she'll ask "what's that like for me"... and I'm like... uh mmm 'I'm supposed to be feeling something?' crickets.

I also do the journaling thing and I find that it helps. My T does allow emailing between sessions and I will do that at times. Emailing is an ebb and flow in terms of frequency of emailing based on what is going on in my life and how frequently we are meeting. I do a significant amount of journaling (like 10-15 one sided typed pages a week) and I give my T about 90% of what I journal. She reads it between sessions. In here, I'm provide session summaries, post session processing, other issue processing.. ect. We talk about 70% of the things written about; however, often it will be weeks after I wrote it before I bring it up in session. Some issues (like ED), I wrote about for a long time before we starting talking about it because I needed more help in mood stability at the time yet I was still using ED behaviors to get by. This allowed her to see how and where ED was being triggered. Recently, we have started to talk more directly about how my ED manifests itself and where it might be coming from. I am glad that I had a way to share with her over the first year when and where the ED was happening without it taking up focal time in session so that she has a better understanding of it now that we are starting to work on it.

For the longest time, I also went in with a list of topics I wanted to talk about - and if needed, I'd highlight sections from my journal to read to her. I'd carry this list over session to session until all topics were either discussed or no longer an issue.

[cinnamon_roll]

Yea, I know what you're talking about. For me it's quite often the feelings belonging to whatever we were talking about in session. They might come a few hours after session or even days later... I'm the queen of delayed emotions ...

For me, journaling helps quite a lot. Writing everything down and expressing those feelings (not just the thoughts!) helps to gain my balance back.

Or, if you're the visual type, try some drawing/painting/photography etc. in order to express what's going on...

all the best to you!
c_r

[anais_anais]

Journalling works well for me too. If I don't, I tend to fixate on one or two things from the session that i blow out of proportion... but if I write down everything I remember, including T's reactions and my inner monologue in contrast to what i actually said, I can better see the session as a whole.

The Dear T thread has been useful too. Neither of my Ts are big on contact and I never feel like any of my stuff is important enough to bother them with anyway. Once I get it out the anxiety (pre and post session) deflates a good deal.

[MessyD]

Originally Posted by wheeler

Yes, I have felt exactly as you have described. My T allows texting and that has helped. I quite often send her short messages the day after a session and that has helped the therapy-hangover.
Did you find texting helpful?

Yes, I actually calmed down a little right after I got a response from him. But I just don't like to bother him, it makes me feel needy and I don't really want to depend on him that much (although I probably already do, ugh)

And I'm not really sure what his rules are regarding texting, we never talked about it, maybe I was testing it, after I calmed down I thought maybe I just did it for attention, I don't know I just wasn't sure what to do at the time

[MessyD]

Originally Posted by wheeler

Yes, I have felt exactly as you have described. My T allows texting and that has helped. I quite often send her short messages the day after a session and that has helped the therapy-hangover.
Did you find texting helpful?

And I like your term therapy-hangover 😀 that explains it pretty well

[MessyD]

Originally Posted by Moment

I have had sessions that have left me very discombobulated. What helped me is journaling. I had a notebook and after each session I would set aside an hour to write. I would sit down and write everything I could remember from the session--what I said, what the therapist said, what I thought. This helped calm me down but, what's more, it helped me remember for the next session. So before the next session, I would review my notes, and I would go into the session and say, "The last time I was here, when you did X, I felt Y..."

Would something like that help you? It would give you something to do to help calm down and then might also help you work out what you want to say in your next session.

Thanks, that sounds like a good idea. I sometimes write things that come to my mind after session but usually I don't bring them all up. I like your idea of actually writing what happened in session because sometimes I do forget parts of it. It's just that I am a very private person and I'm always worried that somebody will read it but I'm trying to get over it

And also when I come back for next session and think about bringing some stuff up, all of a sudden it doesn't feel important anymore. I'm weird , I know

[MessyD]

Originally Posted by cinnamon_roll

Yea, I know what you're talking about. For me it's quite often the feelings belonging to whatever we were talking about in session. They might come a few hours after session or even days later... I'm the queen of delayed emotions ...

For me, journaling helps quite a lot. Writing everything down and expressing those feelings (not just the thoughts!) helps to gain my balance back.

Or, if you're the visual type, try some drawing/painting/photography etc. in order to express what's going on...

all the best to you!
c_r

Yea, I think I might have delayed emotions too... I guess I'll try to journal some more, I'm just really bad at talking about feelings, even if it is just for me. And really don't like to read it after myself

[MessyD]

Originally Posted by lucozader

Yes, I am usually similarly worked up in the days after a session.

Thanks! Makes me feel a little less crazy... It's just that usually I felt pretty good after the session, just recently it's more of a turmoil