Has anyone ever asked their T under what circumstance they would terminate with them and if so what reasons did they give?

[lucozader]

Yes. He told me he would only leave me if he died, or was otherwise incapacitated.

[AllHeart]

I haven't been terminated myself unless you count a former t retiring. My new t told me that she has only had to terminate a couple of clients in all her years. One reason was because the client was belligerent and uncooperative towards the t. She felt she couldn't help the client so she referred him to another therapist. Not sure what the other reason was.

Are you fearing termination from your t?

Originally Posted by AllHeart

I haven't been terminated myself unless you count a former t retiring. My new t told me that she has only had to terminate a couple of clients in all her years. One reason was because the client was belligerent and uncooperative towards the t. She felt she couldn't help the client so she referred him to another therapist. Not sure what the other reason was.

Are you fearing termination from your t?

I have a lot of abandonment and rejection fears which have become even more intense since I told my T by text that I hated her on Tuesday night .. I am very attached to her and even though she says she isn't cross with me and she sees it as a breakthrough, I still keep thinking she will text or call telling me she has changed her mind and won't see me again .. also I've got nearly 5 weeks to go still until I see her again as she has taken an extended break

Yeah I was terminated because here in the UK you don't have long term therapy unless you pay for it and it is something I can't afford. I was with my therapist for 2 years, I am doing a little better than I was before I started seeing her.

Originally Posted by Lavender.

Yeah I was terminated because here in the UK you don't have long term therapy unless you pay for it and it is something I can't afford. I was with my therapist for 2 years, I am doing a little better than I was before I started seeing her.

I'm in the UK too and I'm lucky I am in a position to afford private counselling .. I don't know what part of the uk you are in but have you tried some of the charities which offer low cost counselling?

[atisketatasket]

I have never asked, but I have been terminated for:

-being unable to pay
-being (mistakenly) thought to be imminently suicidal

And another one ended because I moved away.

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I have never asked, but I have been terminated for:

-being unable to pay
-being (mistakenly) thought to be imminently suicidal

And another one ended because I moved away.

Omg at terminated with you because they thought you were suicidal .. surely they are there to help you when you feel that bad, not terminate .. im sorry you had to go through that

[ruh roh]

I asked and she told me there were only two times she terminated--both related to her personal safety.

eta: if she said you had a breakthrough, that sounds the farthest thing from a forced termination by a therapist. Maybe it feels dangerous to have done that, so go easy on yourself and see that you therapist survived your anger and you did too.

I've never asked because it just wasn't something I was all that concerned about I guess. I always knew my college therapist was time limited. I knew my 2nd therapist was in a profession subject to changes every few years (he was a minister who was also a licensed therapist) so I wasn't particularly surprised when a call to another congregation came. My most recent and I occasionally talked about retirement because we are both headed towards that age, so I sort of knew retirement was probably the only reason we might end but it wasn't something imminent (he's still practicing at this point). Just really wasn't on my radar.

[here today]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I've never asked because it just wasn't something I was all that concerned about I guess. . . Just really wasn't on my radar.

I think you've said in the past that you tend to have secure attachments? So THAT'S what that's like!!

[ScarletPimpernel]

One T terminated with me because she transferred jobs. Another because she stopped accepting my insurance. I don't know why ex-T terminated with me Current T says the only way she will fully terminate me is if she moves, retires, or dies.

Back when we first started, I told my T I didn't like her. She didn't terminate with me. She just told me that it's hard for her to want to help someone who feels that way. I felt bad. But we got past it.

my first t promised she would never terrminate with me no matter what, promised she wasnt going to leave me.
then one night out of nowhee she did, and i still have no idea why, all these years later. it broke my heart. i wish i knew what i did.
she is still in the same place, same office, but cut me off years ago.

[MobiusPsyche]

We have talked about it and she said she'd terminate if she felt she or her family were threatened by a client or if she felt she wasn't able to help any longer. I would ask you therapist the question. It might ease your fears.

[hopealwayz]

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

my first t promised she would never terrminate with me no matter what, promised she wasnt going to leave me.
then one night out of nowhee she did, and i still have no idea why, all these years later. it broke my heart. i wish i knew what i did.
she is still in the same place, same office, but cut me off years ago.

This was my exact situation when my ex-T terminated with me. I guess his promise to never abandon me was empty and hollow.

[growlycat]

My long term t said that if I threatened him or his family especially if I had a gun he would terminate with me. Also if I ended up in jail or became addicted to substances (he said my issues were daunting enough that he wasn't sure if he could help me if I had an addiction too). The wierd thing is none of these scenarios were ever likely for me. I think I just kept pressing him about what circumstances would cause him to fire me

[Amyjay]

My t told me we would terminate in July as she is pregnant.
At our last meeting she told me she is going away for a month in May and said we should terminate then instead.
Her reasoning is so I can transfer to another therapist as I need long term therapy.
I currently don't feel able to try again.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I have never asked, but I have been terminated for:

-being unable to pay
-being (mistakenly) thought to be imminently suicidal

And another one ended because I moved away.

Oh *****! I didn't know one of your T's (which one was it?) terminated you bc they thought you were suicidal! That seems ***** backwards to me.

Originally Posted by growlycat

My long term t said that if I threatened him or his family especially if I had a gun he would terminate with me. Also if I ended up in jail or became addicted to substances (he said my issues were daunting enough that he wasn't sure if he could help me if I had an addiction too). The wierd thing is none of these scenarios were ever likely for me. I think I just kept pressing him about what circumstances would cause him to fire me

Hmmm. I am guessing this isn't Kashi? What kind of nonsense is terminating a client over addiction issues or went to jail? I actually just texted my T a couple of days ago bc I got pulled over on a suspende license (that i have been putting off and putting off re-instating it), that at least i know you don't automatically go to jail! I know she would never terminate me if I did (i have fantasies sometimes of just getting myself into so much ***** that I get arrested), and she said some people do like jail for that reason--you don't have to worry about life, just the regiment of jail life.

[velcro003]

Oh, and to answer the question: i don't think i'm brave enough to ask my T what she would terminate me over. I shouldn't be scared, because I can guess that the most likely answer and scenario that would actually happen is if she feels like she can't help me anymore. I suppose she could say if she feels threatened physically or whatever, but I am under 5 feet and 100lbs and am not prone to violence...so, that would be a moot point.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by velcro003

Oh *****! I didn't know one of your T's (which one was it?) terminated you bc they thought you were suicidal! That seems ***** backwards to me.

Not a therapist but a psychiatrist - Smaug.

It was as though she thought - after months of being honest with her and taking meds religiously - that I couldn't tell when I was suicidal. The Dear T thread knows I can most definitely tell.

[rainboots87]

Yes and she said if she were to die, become really ill, or unexpectedly move somewhere (and that she doesn't have plans on moving anytime soon). When I further asked what I could do to make her stop seeing me, she immediately responded "Nothing!" I asked "Nothing?" And again, she said "Nothing." It sounds simple, but that meant so much to me and really helped me feel more safe in therapy.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by velcro003

Oh *****! I didn't know one of your T's (which one was it?) terminated you bc they thought you were suicidal! That seems ***** backwards to me.

Hmmm. I am guessing this isn't Kashi? What kind of nonsense is terminating a client over addiction issues or went to jail? I actually just texted my T a couple of days ago bc I got pulled over on a suspende license (that i have been putting off and putting off re-instating it), that at least i know you don't automatically go to jail! I know she would never terminate me if I did (i have fantasies sometimes of just getting myself into so much ***** that I get arrested), and she said some people do like jail for that reason--you don't have to worry about life, just the regiment of jail life.

You are right I don't mean Kashi
I have a therapist I've known since I was nineteen that i still touch base with once or twice a year. He saved my life

But he was not a perfect t. I thought the addiction thing was unreasonable.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Not a therapist but a psychiatrist - Smaug.

It was as though she thought - after months of being honest with her and taking meds religiously - that I couldn't tell when I was suicidal. The Dear T thread knows I can most definitely tell.

Yeah. That makes sense why you are filing a complaint (i think?) against Smaug. I wasn't sure what happened there. I am sorry

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by growlycat

But he was not a perfect t. I thought the addiction thing was unreasonable.

Yeah, as a blanket statement, it does seem unreasonable. Did he have that rule for every client? Maybe he just isn't equipped to deal with addiction issues?

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by velcro003

Yeah, as a blanket statement, it does seem unreasonable. Did he have that rule for every client? Maybe he just isn't equipped to deal with addiction issues?

Good question! I think it was me in particular because I was already challenging