Dear T: A Song for You

Another one where it's partly in the music and delivery, but:


Summer ride on the beach
Howl at the day
I've been hiding out so long
I gotta find another way

Late at night I wanna see you
Well my eyes, they begin to fade
Am I just living in the space between
The beauty and the pain?
And the real thing

Now the sky is painted
In a wash of indigo
I've been holding on too long
In the howling of this cold

I recognize every face
But I ain't got everything I need
If I'm just living in the space between
The beauty and the pain
It's the strangest thing

Yeah, she runs surrounding me
Surrounded by the whole
Surrounded by no other
I wanna run home

Yeah, I can run slowly
Don't run away again
Yeah, I can run in the storm
Don't you run again
I wanna run, I wanna run

Yeah, I can run slowly
Yeah, I can run slowly

--"The Strangest Thing," War on Drugs

I’m dancing with my demons
I’m hanging off the edge
Storm clouds gather beneath me
Waves break above my head
At first hallucination
I wanna fall wide awake now
You tell me it’s alright
Tell me I’m forgiven
Tonight
But nobody can save me now
I’m holding up a light
Chasing up the darkness inside
'Cause nobody can save me
Stare into this illusion
For answers yet to come
I chose a false solution
But nobody proved me wrong
At first hallucination
I wanna fall wide awake
Watch the ground giving way now
You tell me it’s alright
Tell me I’m forgiven
Tonight
But nobody can save me now
I’m holding up a light
I’m chasing up the darkness inside
'Cause nobody can save me
Been searching somewhere out there
For what’s been missing right here
I’ve been searching somewhere out there
For what’s been missing right here
I wanna fall wide awake now
So tell me it’s alright
Tell me I’m forgiven
Tonight
If only I can save me now
I’m holding up a light
Chasing up the darkness inside
And I don’t wanna let you down
But only I can save me
Been searching somewhere out there
For what’s been missing right here

Nobody Can Save Me- Linkin Park

Songwriters: Jonathan Ian Green / Chester Bennington / Robert G. Bourdon / Bradford Philip Delson / David Farrell / Joseph Hahn / Mike Shinoda

Sometimes I wake up in the morning
To red, blue, and yellow skies
It's so crazy I could drink it like tequila sunrise
Put on that Hotel California
Dance around like I'm insane
I feel free when I see no one
And nobody knows my name
God knows I live
God knows I died
God knows I begged
Begged, borrowed and cried
God knows I loved
God know I lied
God knows I lost
God gave me life
And God knows I tried
God knows I tried
God knows I tried
God knows I tried
Sometimes I wake up in the morning
To red, blue and yellow lights
On Monday they destroyed me
But by Friday I'm revived
Put on that hotel California
Wear my blinders in the rain
I've got nothing much to live for
Ever since I found my fame
God knows I live
God knows I died
God knows I loved
God know I lied
God knows I begged
Begged, borrowed and cried
God knows I lost
God gave me life
God knows I tried
God knows I tried
God knows I tried
God knows I tried
So let there be light
Let there be light
Light up my life
Light up my life
Let there be light
Let there be light
Light up my life
Light up my life
God knows I tried
God knows I tried
God knows I tried
God knows I tried
God knows I tried
God knows I tried
God knows I tried
God knows I tried

Songwriters: Elizabeth Grant / Rick Nowels

If you believe in the power of magic
I can change your mind
And if you need to believe in someone
Turn and look behind
When we were living in a dream world
Clouds got in the way
We gave it up in a moment of madness
And threw it all away
Don't answer me, don't break the silence
Don't let me win
Don't answer me, stay on your island
Don't let me in
Run away and hide from everyone
Can you change the things we've said and done?
If you believe in the power of magic
It's all a fantasy
So if you need to believe in someone
Just pretend it's me
It ain't enough that we meet as strangers
I can't set you free
So will you turn your back forever
on what you mean to me?
Don't answer me, don't break the silence
Don't let me win
Don't answer me, stay on your island
Don't let me in
Run away and hide from everyone
Can you change the things we've said and done?

Some say love
Is a burning thing
That it makes
A fiery ring
Oh, but I know love
As a fading thing
Just as fickle as a feather in a stream

See honey I saw love
You see it came to me
It put its face up to my face so I could see
Yeah then I saw love
Disfigure me
Into something I am not recognising

See the cage it called
I said 'come on in'
I will not open myself up this way again
Won't lay my face to the soil
Nor my teeth to the sand
I will not lay like this for days now upon end
You will not see me fall
Nor see me struggle to stand
To be acknowledged by some touch from his gnarled hands
You see the cage it called
I said 'come on in'
I will not open myself up this way again

You see the moon is bright
In that treetop tonight
I see the shadows that we cast in the cold, clean light
Now my feet are gold
And my heart is white
And we race out on the desert plains all night
See honey I am not
Some broken thing
I do not lay here in the dark waiting for thee
No, my heart is gold
And my feet are light
And I am racing on the desert plains all night

So some say love
Is a burning thing
That it makes
A fiery ring
Oh, but I know love
As a caging thing
Just a killer come to call from some awful dream
I know you folks
You come to see
You just stand there in the glass looking at me
But my heart is wild
And my bones are steel
And I could kill you with my bare hands if I was free

‘No One’
John Denver



I came into this lovely city
About three weeks ago today
And I've been trying to find someone that I can talk to
A friendly face to turn my way

I walk these streets in silent sorrow
I walk my feet into the ground
And all I see are cloudy, cold, suspicious faces
I swear to God He brings me down

Is there no one with a smile for me
No one with a hello in their eyes
Is there no one who will love me
And help me through the dark and lonely night

The park's so green and full of flowers
and lovers lying on the lawn
I wish I had a lady here that I could laugh with
Sweet Jesus Christ, it hurts me so to be alone

Is there no one with a smile for me
No one with a hello in their eyes
Is there no one who will love me
And help me through the cold and lonely night

Singing la la la la la la
Singing la la la la la la

This life is hard and full of trouble
It's painful just to live from day to day
But if you're weary and afraid don't turn away now
There's no reason why we have to feel this way

Is there no one who will smile for me
No one with a hello in their eyes
Is there no one who will love me
And help me through the cold and lonely night

Singing la la la la la la
Singing la la la la la la

I just need someone to talk to
It hurts to be alone

I just need someone to laugh with
It hurts to be alone

I just want someone to love me
I need someone to talk to
And it hurts to be alone

Singing la la la la la la
Singing la la la la la la
Singing la la la la la la
Singing la la la la la

Songwriters: Doc Pomus / Mort Shuman

This depression is intense and annoying. I thought this song


Unwell
Matchbox Twenty

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be, me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've…

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell
Songwriters: Rob Thomas / Robert Thomas

This song always makes me think of T. She helped me on my healing journey in so many ways. Many times all I could do was breathe and remember she was always there to help.

Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn’t come from the explained
Jesus please don’t let this go in vain
You’re all I have
All that remains

So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ll fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

Breathe
Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ll fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say it’s over now

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ll fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here

Came up on shuffle, seemed fitting:


"The light is harsh as it's breaking through the blinds
Shadows on the wall cross my face in black lines
I'm so disconnected at the foot of the bed
Don't know what to say, don't know what I said

Maybe every promise anybody makes is destined for the rocks
The longer it takes
Daylight is so close I can almost taste it
It's all I got, it's not right
Everything is broken in my mind
Ain't no place to run
Ain't no place to hide
Don't wanna lose control
Baby I just might

Black candle, fire on the fuse
Shaking in the wind like a lame excuse
Never leave the house, barely leave the room
Got nothing to say, got nothing to prove

Hell is rising in front of my face
I'm free from desires, I rise above the maze
Every step I take, closer to the sun
Darkness is so loud, surrounding everyone
Ghosts dwell in the streets from a hit and run
Keep your head down
Keep your eyes shut tight
Don't wanna lose control
Baby I just might
Don't wanna lose control
I just might
Don't wanna lose control
I just might
I just might

You make a wish, you want it to come true
But somewhere underneath all the hope is the truth
Prayers go unanswered
You're waiting for the proof
Don't know what to say
Don't what to do

Maybe every promise anybody makes is destined for the rocks
The longer it takes
Daylight is so close I can almost taste it
Don't know what to say, don't know what I said
Everything is broken in my head
Lost out in the darkness, looking for the light
Think I'm gonna run
Baby I just might
Might
I might
I might
I might

Ryan Adams, ""

ooh don't know this song, but me and my T both love him.

It's hard for me to describe things I've felt about my experiences to my T. This song and this visual speak it perfectly.

When you're kneeling through the hours
And you're doubting your given powers
And when you're ready for her mercy
And you're worthy
It will come

When you're sneaking round the back door
And she's waiting for you no more
And when you're ready for her mercy
And you're worthy
It will come

When the birds are just tuning up still
And the dawn breaks on your windowsill
And when you're ready for her mercy
And you're worthy
It will come

It will come
When you're broken
When your heart is finally open
When you're down
Down and troubled
When you're lost among the rubble


Well, there's sugar on the old spoon
Let's do that two-step around your front room
And when you're ready for her mercy
And you're worthy
It will come

Mercy, mercy, coming to you
Feel her beauty flowing through you
She will unbind you, set the word free
Mercy, mercy
Mercy, mercy, coming to you,
Feel her beauty flowing through you
She will unbind you, set the word free
Mercy, mercy