[nottrustin]

For those with T"s who share a bit about themselves have they said something that contradicts what they tell you in therapy? If so how did they and you handle it?

One of the main reasons I started therapy was because I really felt like failure as a parent. She Has really helped me with this. When she mentions how great my kids turned out. I usually say I am very lucky. To which she usually says it isn't about luck. So last night as I was leaving I asked her something about her son. She said " I am very lucky he is such a great kid" So I said "Um you would tell me it isn't about luck". She laughed and thanked me for throwing that back in her face. Then she starting saying how it somewhat about luck. Yes she gave her son a good foundation. But she is lucky he has made great choices. However there are many great parents who still has children make bad choices.
.
Seems really weird looking back.

[Elio]

She's not wrong about parenting. A kid comes out of the womb with their ownness, personality, temperament, essences, whatever you want to call it. Life affects them and they make their own choices. As a parent, we can do whatever we can do to help them learn how to navigate what is life, how to make choices and how to create a belief system that is their own.

So, yep you had a role in how good your children turned out... yep they have a role in how they turned out... yep luck/fate/the powers that be... had a role in how they turned out.

My guess, your T was trying to tell you that you were a good parent because you too created that good foundation.


Oh -- and on calling a T out... not something I am good at until I get mad and work through the anger.

[nottrustin]

I know she is right. Just that when I say I am lucky she tells me it is not about luck.... it was more funny than anything.

[malika138]

I think she was saying it is not about luck in a way to compliment you and your parenting. There are some folks on these boards (ah, me, included) who need to be reminded of the good we do for others. It seems totally like a T to point out the positive role you have in raising your kids.

Just my thoughts.

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I know she is right. Just that when I say I am lucky she tells me it is not about luck.... it was more funny than anything.

Maybe she said it's not about luck to make you realise you are a good parent and so you don't doubt yourself

[annielovesbacon]

I will call out my therapist if she says something contradicting like that, usually in a joking manner though not like aggressive or super angry or anything. She usually laughs and agrees with me and amends what she has said.

[stopdog]

If the woman talks - then constantly. She contradicts herself every time she speaks and I point it out.

[junkDNA]

Today my T kept talking about houses he's looking at to buy for his practice. Eventually I said do you just want to talk about houses? He said no and stopped. I called him out because I had things I wanted to discuss. I didn't really think twice about doing it

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Today my T kept talking about houses he's looking at to buy for his practice. Eventually I said do you just want to talk about houses? He said no and stopped. I called him out because I had things I wanted to discuss. I didn't really think twice about doing it

That would really upset me

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

That would really upset me

im used to it. he means well. but he does get hung up on things hes excited about at times