[LesFleursDuMal]

For those who ever felt like that, how did you do to deal with it ?

I go to college and I also work as a teacher assistant but those last few weeks, things have been really hard for me and going to work seems absolutely impossible, I feel extremely anxious everytime I have to go, I just wish I had no responsabilities because I just can't take it, all this anxiety is driving me crazy and making me feel worse every single day, sometimes I just feel so numb, other times I just spend my days crying for no reason. No one sees that I'm really struggling, sometimes I just feel so stupid and lazy when the only thing I want is to stay in bed and forget I'm alive. If anyone is or has been is the same situation, I think it will just make me feel a little bit better about myself to see I'm not alone

[cinnamon_roll]

I had a complete breakdown about three years ago and was off sick from work because of it. Both my therapist and my psychiatrist insisted that I should stay away from the office for a while. I struggled immensely, because I identified strongly with my job. But there was no way I could have continued to work or get through a normal work day. But at the same time I struggled with feeling "useless" or a "failure".

In the end I was off sick for over 12 months. Luckily the sick pay in my country was ok so I didn't face any financial difficulties because of this and I didn't lose my job either.

I ended up doing an intensive inpatient programm for depression and emotional over-regulation for about three months, and even though I didn't want to in the beginning I learnt a lot while I was there, still benefiting from it.

do you have a T or a psychiatrist you could talk to and ask for advice?

I've been that way, off and on, since I started work about 30 years ago. Meds really helped me. As did therapy and some time off. I work for myself now, so life is much easier. Perhaps you could set yourself a goal of some sort? I wanted to be self employed by the time I was 50 and I am. What are your dreams?

[annielovesbacon]

I'm sorry you're going through this, I relate so much... I call in "sick" a lot because sometimes I wake up in the morning and I just. can't. do. anything. It makes me feel very guilty and like a stupid failure. I know that's not true but it's how I feel.

[growlycat]

Under the Americans with disabilities act you can take a medical leave of absence for psych reasons. I have done so once and it kept me out of the hospital.

[hopeless2015]

I have fmla that I take intermittently, I was just home the last two days and plan to go back tomorrow, I'm already anxious about it

[LesFleursDuMal]

Thank you everyone for your answers. I see a psychologist and he knows a little about this but I haven't told him everything, maybe because I'm ashamed to let him know exactly how bad I'm doing and I'm scared he'll think I'm just lazy. I told him once that I didn't go to work when I had to and he said I had to do it even if it's hard because I was sabotaging myself and not helping me. He doesn't seem to understand that I just can't!

I have the same problem too hopeless2015, when I don't go for a while and then have to go back, my anxiety is even worse and I end up not being able to sleep at all the night before.

I live in France growlycat, thank you for the advice. I know I could try to see a psychiatrist or any doctor but I'm just scared they won't believe me.

Little cat, to be honest right now I don't think I have a dream of any kind. I just wanna feel better some day.

[subtle lights]

I was in a similar situation...basically still am. For a few months now, I couldn't really focus at all, everything gave me anxiety at work, if I read a sentence from an email and didn't understand it exactly at first my anxiety sky-rocketed and so on. I also had issues getting up in the morning and had also some conflict with my boss...I was taking a lot of sick leaves. At the end I resigned, because I didn't feel good there, wanted to leave for a while, but the conflict and the depression/ anxiety added to it too. Maybe in another situation I could have got a longer leave for depression. I'm still a bit frustrated about this.
I've also been trying to explain it to my doctor but she never offered the idea of longer leave. Anyway now it's too late for that.
I understand that it's hard to explain this to the doctors, I've had the same issue, felt like she didn't understand the fact that I actually couldn't work. Still can't. But it would make sense though to try to explain.