What does resolution of paternal/maternal transference mean?

I think they are both right. The first T seemed to simplify it and emphasize the outcome, while the other expanded upon it but emphasized the process.

Totally agree the attachment feelings don't dissapear, but the distortions do. (Sorry to use that word-being lazy here).

I've 'worked through' transference a number of years, and still get longings for him and feelings of excitement at times. I don't think those feelings will change. But I don't think it's unhealthy at this point and am comfortable with the feelings of affection.

I still have projections because he doesn't share alot of himself, but I can observe my childlike feelings from my adult ego. So even though I consider my attachment feelings to be healthy, there's still more to work through in terms of my sense of self. So that working through is more about feelings about myself rather than the relationship.

Good thread.

Azure, your experience seems to me to be more "pure" transference: as you say, the feelings reside within yourself to be examined within yourself. I worked that sort of transference through, but maybe where my experience was different was the existence of counter transferential feelings in my T. They were all very controlled and benign throughout the process, and would have remained only marginally revealed, if I had not wanted to keep the relationship. The fuller expression of his feelings came years after termination (and his retirement).

I'm confused by what you meant (or need more coffee!) He seems to keep his feelings out of the therapy. Please explain, I'm curious what you meant.

I don't know what is going on with my transference. It seems to be in a lull or something since being hurt and confused by the interactions around T's vacation. I still love her. I still have a part of me that sees her and wants her to be mommy. I have had less anguish or desire to email T. However, that is changing a bit as I moving past being hurt and angry with her.

My focus has been less on her, me, and this journey. I also don't seem to be missing or wishing it was back at such a deep level.

So I guess I'll have to see if how this plays out.

I'm sorry--I just meant that if your T keeps his feelings out of the relationship, that leaves the only transference in the room yours. So any projections may be clearer, and your processing of them within yourself is what resolves the transference.

When there's also counter transference from the T (and it needn't be problematic or indicative of dysfunction--that's a more narrow, older perspective of counter transference), and it appropriately mirrors the client's transference (like father/daughter), then it can contribute to the resolution. Exploring both sides of the mirror transference can strengthen the relationship. But the counter transference has to be substantial, and the T has to work in a modality and have the expertise to do that work.