Does anyone here believe their T cares about them , as in genuinely cares about them as a person as opposed to a T caring about getting them to a good place because we pay them to do that , if that makes sense?

[LadyShadow]

Oh I know my T cares about me. I mean I have been seeing the man for over 10 years!

I know I am lucky to have him in my life. Also, when I miss an appointment he immediately calls me to make sure I am okay. Some therapists just cross it off as a "no show" but my therapist goes that extra mile. Also, if I am having a crisis, he tries his extra best to fit me in.

Do your think your T cares about you OP?

[LonesomeTonight]

I believe both my T and marriage counselor care about me, both because they've said so and because I can tell in how they react to things (my T has teared up before when I was telling her something), support they've given me (like outside of session, on the weekends, etc.), etc. I once questioned MC about whether he genuinely cared, saying to him, "I pay you to care." He said, "You can pay me to do my job, but you can't pay me to care." Meaning that, we pay him to be our counselor, but it's his choice to actually care about me (and H). And he's also specifically said "I care about you" and "I genuinely care about you" before. T has said they (her and MC--same practice) were worried about me during this one bad period, and I got the sense that was a personal, not professional, thing (especially since they both talked to me on the phone and texted numerous times that weekend, including late at night once for each of them).

It took me a long time (like a couple years) to truly accept the caring from either of them, though, and I still doubt it at times.

Actual quote from my T:

I do care about you Echos. That has grown as you have shared more of yourself with me, and I can feel that in my heart.

I believe him.

[TangerineBeam]

Not really. She only cares about helping me to get better (as a professional who's being paid). In fact, she explicitly said that she's just not that interested in me as a person to really care. And by "really care" I mean how a mother, a friend, or a significant other would care.

[satsuma]

Yes, I do.
Not because he has said it, and he doesn't say it very often. But he has shown it consistently with his actions, for five years. If he didn't care he could just talk for 50 minutes and take my money. He wouldn't write letters or call the GP for me, speak on the phone even evenings or weekends or even when he's been on holiday if something urgent happened with me, text and email whenever I need to, put up with me getting upset with him, and so many other things ... he has proved it to me and I believe it.
He also pointed out that caring about clients is how he gets job satisfaction and one of the ways he finds meaning in his life. He had the opportunity to be e promoted to a management position that would mean not working directly with clients and he didn't take it because working directly with people and caring about them is what he has chosen to do.

[Argonautomobile]

Yes, but I don't have high standards for "care."

I believe she does. She has teared up a little when discussing certain things, and she even said she'd come back from her vacation if I were to succesfully commit suicide during it. (please don't judge her for saying this - you don't know the context, it was appropriate)

It was never in doubt.

[Travelinglady]

Yes, I think she cares. I believe she is the type of person who cares for all her patients.

[Sadness2008]

Sometimes I think she cares too much.

[precaryous]

Yes, I believe my last two T's genuinely care about me.

[kecanoe]

Yes, my ts care for me.

It's interesting to me that for some, the fact that their t doesn't care for them the way a friend or family member does means that they believe their t doesn't care. For me, it is a different relationship. I don't care for them the way I care for my H, but I also don't care for them the way I do a person who checks out my groceries. It is a unique relationship, but that doesn't mean that there is no caring involved.

[malika138]

I don't believe I have the emotional ability to assess such things and I cannot trust that it might be true because of past T's abandonment at a critical juncture. But does she completely not care? I don't think that is true either.

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Oh I know my T cares about me. I mean I have been seeing the man for over 10 years!

I know I am lucky to have him in my life. Also, when I miss an appointment he immediately calls me to make sure I am okay. Some therapists just cross it off as a "no show" but my therapist goes that extra mile. Also, if I am having a crisis, he tries his extra best to fit me in.

Do your think your T cares about you OP?

Wow at 10 years. I am sure he cares about you a great deal. What does OP stand for?

Opening poster (thread starter)

Originally Posted by TangerineBeam

Not really. She only cares about helping me to get better (as a professional who's being paid). In fact, she explicitly said that she's just not that interested in me as a person to really care. And by "really care" I mean how a mother, a friend, or a significant other would care.

Oh my gosh .. I don't know how I would feel if my T actually said this to me

[atisketatasket]

I know two of mine have cared for me as a person. It has led to trouble in that they get over-involved in my life and then they make mistakes.

I know two of mine haven't, which has also led to trouble as it makes them act not particularly sensitively.

The current one seems to have found a balance and acts as though caring for me were just her job. An attitude that is working well for us so far.

Yes, I'm sure my therapist cared about me! I think I was seen as a whole person (with scars) on my way to build a better life for myself and those I cared for. I think he saw himself as a living person as well. With that I mean that he was able to use himself in the therapy, not afraid "to feel my feelings", not afraid to carry what was too difficult to carry for me (tolerated my feelings, my losses, my harmed sides), but also being present with regard to put in questions to help me reflect and grow.

I don't go to therapy now. I can still be depressed, but am able to use selfhelp techniques and still broaden what I learned in therapy. I relate that (my abillity to go on without a therapist) to a good cooperative relationship between the therapist and me in former times and to his therapeutic skills, his ability to know when to intervene and when to listen and only give a "uhmmm" as sign on that he was with me. Of course he cared!

Certainly not.

[stopdog]

I hope not. I pay them to stay back. No good can come of a therapist caring in my opinion.

[chihirochild]

I believe that my T cares about me. However, I do not believe that she has the ability to fix my depression (or even substantially reduce my suffering).

Caring is great and all, but it's not enough.

[kecanoe]

Originally Posted by chihirochild

I believe that my T cares about me. However, I do not believe that she has the ability to fix my depression (or even substantially reduce my suffering).

Caring is great and all, but it's not enough.

True. Caring is not enough. If that were the case I would be healed.

[dwfieldjr]

Yeah I know what your saying...I often wonder that myself. I just look at therapy like it's about me, and I have made a lot of improvements in the last year and a half. Idk it's hard to tell with people and what they are really thinking.

[junkDNA]

Yes i do...