[lilypup]

T1 has just announced that she will be cutting back her hours as she wants to spend time with her children over their summer vacation. While I think this is admirable, it means that I will only see her every other week or so. I have been doing anxiety and trauma work with her. I feel like when I miss a week we spend the whole time just catching up instead of making progress. She has said she will Skype or do telephone things "if necessary". Her tone led me to believe it shouldn't be necessary. I like her and feel we are doing good work but this has me a bit panicked.

T2 (psychodynamic therapy) also travels a bit to see her out of the country kids. She also takes August off. I realize T's have lives but it's hard on me.

How do you handle it?

[secretworld]

I kick and scream and usually threaten to quit, but who am I kidding
Mine takes most of the summer off.

[lilypup]

Wow! Most of the summer? That IS rough.

[Waterbear]

That sounds tough. Not having a choice when doing work like that would not sit well with me. I have been with T for just over a year now and she has had three weeks off in total. That's not a lot. She is never sick either. She hadn't told me about any up coming holiday, though I am sure that she would in plenty of time.

How do I handle it? With difficulty, one day at a time. Try to keep myself busy. Try to do things that are good for me. Remind myself that she is coming back etc

I hope that you get on OK with the cut back.

Badly. Mine had recently been away for 8 weeks and it was a real struggle so sadly I don't have any good advice to offer but I hope it isn't too difficult for you

[growlycat]

Current t only seems to take off a week or two here and there and sometimes a long weekend. So far it has been manageable.

Last t took eight weeks off to go to Italy and that was hard on me. I threw myself into work and other activities. I think I posted here a lot more too

[kecanoe]

I started seeing a second t when I couldn't cope with T1 being gone. I had to do something.

[Elio]

I am currently processing out T's upcoming vacation. It is only going to be 1 week but it will be the longest without contact time since the attachment and transference. So far, ummm not quite to kicking and screaming... more pouting in corner and clinging. - so I guess, I'm not handling it very well. I'm still hoping some how there will be some type of middle of vacation communication of.. I'm still here, I haven't forgotten about you thing, last I heard though, she didn't know where she was going. And I feel really intrusive to ask for such a thing. I really want her to offer what she is willing to do, but she won't - that's not how my therapy is rolling.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by Elio

I am currently processing out T's upcoming vacation. It is only going to be 1 week but it will be the longest without contact time since the attachment and transference. So far, ummm not quite to kicking and screaming... more pouting in corner and clinging. - so I guess, I'm not handling it very well. I'm still hoping some how there will be some type of middle of vacation communication of.. I'm still here, I haven't forgotten about you thing, last I heard though, she didn't know where she was going. And I feel really intrusive to ask for such a thing. I really want her to offer what she is willing to do, but she won't - that's not how my therapy is rolling.

Hi Elio!! When I was struggling more with attachment issues during my t's 8 week vacation I came up with an idea.

I did not end up using this idea but might in the future if needed-- I had the idea for t to write a caring and supportive note and seal it in an envelope. This would be a "open in case of an emergency" type item. The idea is I'd wait as long as I could over their vacation to open the envelope. Waiting longer is good practice but knowing the message is still there is comforting.

Time will tell. T is taking off the month of July to travel. I'll likely also be traveling in an effort to not think about how much I miss T. No definitive plans yet.

[skysblue]

I had a very hard time in the past when T went on vacation. I write about it on my blog www.atherapystory.com

Fortunately those days of pain have passed. My inner work paid off.

[Elio]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Hi Elio!! When I was struggling more with attachment issues during my t's 8 week vacation I came up with an idea.

I did not end up using this idea but might in the future if needed-- I had the idea for t to write a caring and supportive note and seal it in an envelope. This would be a "open in case of an emergency" type item. The idea is I'd wait as long as I could over their vacation to open the envelope. Waiting longer is good practice but knowing the message is still there is comforting.

Since my T works in a clinic and we communicate via email, I've been tempted to ask for her to either write me a letter that the clinic would snail mail out on Monday so I'd get it on Wen... or to set up an email that would be sent at a later date - I know the system there supports this feature as I used to support it from the IT side. Again, I feel imposing. Possibly an in case of emergency letter might be another option. Thanks for the idea.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by Elio;5650

[QUOTE=Elio;5651045

Since my T works in a clinic and we communicate via email, I've been tempted to ask for her to either write me a letter that the clinic would snail mail out on Monday so I'd get it on Wen... or to set up an email that would be sent at a later date - I know the system there supports this feature as I used to support it from the IT side. Again, I feel imposing. Possibly an in case of emergency letter might be another option. Thanks for the idea.

My long term t used to send me a postcard on his vacation. The message was friendly but vague, nothing revealing. I still found it supportive

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by skysblue

I had a very hard time in the past when T went on vacation. I write about it on my blog www.atherapystory.com

Fortunately those days of pain have passed. My inner work paid off.

I neglected to point you to the direction of where my thoughts and feelings about t's vacation are located in my blog.

Chapter 15, 'Earthquake Safety' is about attachment to T
Chapter 16, 'Tahiti' is about her leaving on vacation
Chapter 17, 'I Hate You 'is about my intense feelings created by her impending departure

[laxer12]

I would not handle that well...I just noticed that my T updated her Psych Today profile to say that she isn't accepting new clients so that might be her way of cutting back and giving herself some free time in the summer. I think that's totally fair and a great idea but I would NOT be okay if she said we had to go every other week just so she could not work as much in the summer.

My T took a one week vacation two weeks ago and that kind of sucked but again, I think it's totally okay for her to take a vacation, just not for the whole summer...

Thankfully, my T has not decided to do anything like that.

[MBM17]

Oh gosh. I don't handle vacation well. I usually fall completely apart.

I try to cope mostly by reading old therapy notes and "hearing" him talk to me. I use DBT distress tolerance skills to get through the hours and days.

If he took a month off, I'd probably have to look for a therapist to meet with in the interim. I NEED therapy every week to cope with my life. I'd probably start looking for another therapist if my current one said we'd meet just every other week. I can't handle my life without more help than that.

[stopdog]

I think wahoo - that is X dollars not given to a therapist.

[waterlogged]

"Your T just went on vacation - what are you going to do next????"
"I'm going to DISNEYLAND!!!!"

True story. I'm at Disneyland this week.