[justbreathe1994]

Hello, so I have been working with my T for a few years and she is working with me on forming a secure attachment to her. We have had a lot of ups and downs, especially in the beginning as I struggled with intense over-attachment, love, maternal transference, etc. It has been one of the most painful and challenging things I've ever experienced, though I am hopeful she is helping me and I will be stronger in the end. Recently, probably because of the pain of it all, I have found myself detaching quite a bit from her (to the point where I don't really give a *****), which is odd for me. I'm guessing it's because she has set firmer boundaries and been more clear about her feelings for me as her client and her role as my therapist. Anyways, I am worried that I am swinging the opposite direction now, when I actually really just want to experience the closeness and safety and appreciate the bond we do share (without becoming obsessive again). Has anyone experienced this or something similar? I'd appreciate any advice or tips about how to get back in the middle, because I really want to care (just not too much).

[junkDNA]

I am going through this right now with my T. I go thru periods of not even wanting to see him recently since he changed the boundaries. I struggle with it and almost see it as unneccesary pain. However i do feel way less obsessed with him which i like because i hate being obsessed with things /people. It becomes a prison

[justbreathe1994]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

I am going through this right now with my T. I go thru periods of not even wanting to see him recently since he changed the boundaries. I struggle with it and almost see it as unneccesary pain. However i do feel way less obsessed with him which i like because i hate being obsessed with things /people. It becomes a prison

Yes I totally agree with you and can relate. I am sorry you are also going through it. I just wish there was a way to keep some of the good feelings (closeness, safety, etc) while losing the obsessive and painful ones. Right now I just feel numb.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by justbreathe1994

Yes I totally agree with you and can relate. I am sorry you are also going through it. I just wish there was a way to keep some of the good feelings (closeness, safety, etc) while losing the obsessive and painful ones. Right now I just feel numb.

I remind myself of the times my T went above and beyond for me. I try to tell myself that that man and those feelings he had for me then are still there. But i but longer need that level of support if i want to thrive