Card/gift giving

I came across a post on another thread about gifts for Ts. Just curious has anyone here tried to give a birthday or holiday card/gift to their T and have it not be accepted? Or being an awkward situation where you could see the T didn't really want to accept it or felt they shouldn't but did hesitantly. Or perhaps even had a more positive experience.?

Just something I'd never thought of and wondering if it's something I would do for a big holiday or something in the future but on the fence about it and unsure of my Ts policies on this .

Ask your T what their policy is on this. I think it's more common outside Europe though for gifts to be accepted.

Yes, I gave my T a Christmas give this past year. It was fairly inexpensive and was about something that I had shared with her earlier. At first I was concerned that the clinic wouldn't allow it and she said that there were ways around it. She did say at the other clinic she worked at, they could only accept gifts that would be for the entire support team as it is more of a team based program.

I have since given her a book (from a thrift store) that we'd talked about before.

She has not given me anything that would be considered a gift nor has she given me a card. However, she does send me an unsolicited message after each visit. I consider that a gift.

It is best to ask about your T's policy if their refusal would be an issue for you.

I have never asked my therapist, nor have I given her any gifts or cards. But I would guess that almost any therapist would accept a card and be grateful. However, some therapists may have policies against accepting gifts due to the monetary value. It would be different for each T so that may be something you want to ask your T if you want to give them a gift.

I gave her a pot of "homemade" (my father is a beekeeper) honey when I saw her on her birthday last year. With a ribbon :-) It was mostly a token of appreciation and she did appreciate it.

I asked my T first if she accepts gifts. We don't gift for special occasions like birthdays or holidays. When we transitioned to 4 weeks between session, we got each other something. She got me a card and a rock. I got her a bunch of homemade things: crocheted flower, bead pin, painted glass, a fairie house, etc. She loved them all. I just asked her for a stuffed animal. I hope she gets me one.

But again, ask first.

Don't think I'd ever give a gift but was wondering if others had. I would probabally consider a simple holiday card.... if she did accept them that was. I've given simple happy holiday cards to other professionals I've worked with before so don't think a card is that big a deal really the more I think about it. I would ask her policy on this before giving it though as would hate to have it not be accepted.

I used to make ex-T a birthday cake every year, and I always gave him something for his birthday and for Christmas -- small, inexpensive, but meaningful little things.

With current T, I have no idea when his birthday is, but I definitely plan to at least give him a Christmas card when that time rolls around.

Also, my mom is a therapist, and I know she has accepted small gifts from her clients.

I have given my t a gift every year....Christmas/birthday.

I have no idea of my T's birthday. But I have given her xmas cards and such. Actually it never occured to me before I read this that there could be a problem with it or that she might not accept . She has happily taken all the greetings.

never thought about it but i'd go for a holiday card and birthday if i knew when it was... is there any good way to ask that without seeming like its wrong? lol

I have mailed cards for Christmas. I have given her a few gifts over the years. Usually gift cards to her favorite restaurant. The first time and a couple of times since she mentioned she is not supposed to accept gifts but because she knows me well she understands my reasoning behind The gifts. So she gratefully accepts.

My first t would only accept a gift or card if it was home made. I found out about that the hard way, with a lot of hurt feelings.

My current t and i love giving each other gifts. We celebrate Christmas and our birthdays with each other, and give each other gifts. Its fun. We like to shop for each other.

I've given her poems pretty often over the years but not for any specific holiday. I found out last year when her birthday is, so just said a simple 'happy birthday' this year. the only actual gift i gave her, was right before she moved out of state, i crocheted a doily and starched it into a bowl. (I did ask before i gave it to her, if she would accept a gift or not and she said as long as it was something small and hand-made it would be ok.) We are in the process of terminating now - I will likely want to give her something at our last session, but I don't think it will be a 'thing' - but another poem, and well probably a card. i think. i don't know yet.

Did you try to give her something and have her reject it? Or did you ask and she hurt your feelings?

I would only give a card but I do worry that she would worry about my intentions for giving one. It would really just be a a token of best wishes for the holiday. I would give a card to lots of people in my life but professionally and personally so I don't really see how someone could not accept a card.

I had given my two groupT's a small card with a chocolate thingy on it for Christmas. I also gave my group members one. They appreciated it. I know one of those T's had gotten a homemade gift from one of her previous clients. It's in her office. So they accept gifts (of course it shouldn't be expensive). I think it's also because of the kind of T's they are and the sort of therapy they give.
When I had passed my exams I had gotten a card from groupT1. And they sometimes give small things to us, like a sticker or a medaill or a small note with some kind words on it. I like that. And so do the others.

I also had such a Christmas card for prevT, with who then I sometimes had a session with. But I didn't gave it to her. I had given her a small gift and card when she went on leave. She seemed happy when I gave it to her, but I've never heard what she thought of the gift.
I've never gotten anything from her. Not that I want much. All I wanted was a small note with some words written by her. Doesn't matter what it says, but just something from her.
I've always been too afraid to ask her. I've sort of expressed this, but I think she didn't got the hint, while normally she's very smart. And then still, she could have known how much a little note would mean to me. So I guess she just didn't want to do something like that.

I don't know my T's birthdays, but if I would know I wouldn't given them something. Maybe a small card, I don't know.