Therapist betrayal

AllHeart · Jul 14, 2017, 10:51 PM

Try mental health malpractice. I had some luck with that search. I also called my state bar office and they were able to give me a referral to an experienced attorney.

TELL people have been very supportive too. I found a lot of stories on their site to be relatable to my situation. It's been a helpful site all around.

Prsartist3 · Jul 15, 2017, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moment

I think you could talk to another therapist about this event without disclosing the actual medical issue. You could just say, "An extremely sensitive medical issue that I do not want to discuss with you, and certainly did not want to discuss face-to-face with some stranger without my consent after I had previously been asked by this therapist and clearly said no."

If you have no support in your personal life I hope you will reach out and try to find someone, perhaps a male therapist, to talk about this with.

Just as an aside, I understand that sexuality is complex and can be complicated and emotionally difficult (boy, do I know that). This physical issue, though, is something that lots of people struggle with and you're likely to encounter a lot of understanding and empathy for your situation and feelings. So I hope it would not stop you from seeking emotional help about something so major as the traumatic break-up of a ten year therapy relationship. There's a lot to process here, in how your therapist treated you. What you have described her doing is not normal or right. I hope you will reach out for help.

I've looked at other therapists online, and I have a hard time
Trusting any of them. Not one looks like a good fit, I really don't think I can do this, and starting over from day 1 seems like an insurmountable task.

here today · Jul 15, 2017, 12:12 PM

Perhaps a support group/program? The 12-step Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families is primarily a 12-step program but they do cover some issues that some people with non-addictive but dysfunctional family backgrounds can relate to. At least, that was true for me and some of the other people I met there.

I didn't stay long -- I found another support group that fitted me better, or maybe I should say that I fit in with better (who would have have thunk such a thing was possible!) I do understand your concern about confidentiality, so you might not want to talk a lot, but just listening to others and not feeling like the lone ranger so much definitely helped me.

Prsartist3 · Jul 21, 2017, 04:21 AM

Well, I guess it's official
Like I feared there is no legal recourse for violations such as this.
I've talked to a attorneys, and since there are no "recoverable damages"
No one is interested in taking this case.

I've given a lot of thought to making a complaint to the state licensing board. I'm VERY hesitant for the following reasons.

1. I'm really not comfortable with the "state" having this (or any personal info) about me.
2. I don't think the state (likely a group of her colleagues) will police each other, or give a crap.
3. Possibly the most important reason of all...
I don't think I would be able to personally cope with the possibility that that I could surrender all my personal info to the state and then be dismissed. The simple fact is no one really cares....

here today · Jul 21, 2017, 09:32 AM

So sorry.

I care. What happened to you is awful. Not just the breach of confidentiality but the fact that you spent 10 years into what you thought was supposed to be a "helping" relationship only to have it end this way.

It IS an outrage.

Is there anything that I can do to support in helping you to "recover" from this? I have felt outraged by therapy, too, and logically, it seemed to me, the only way to maybe do something about it was to try to get myself "well" so that I could speak in a way that might be effective and convincing to at least a few people who hadn't had similar experiences but who had enough open-mindedness, interest, and curiosity to consider the possibility that the system is messed up and "in denial" about it and hurts some people a lot. With a broken social system it takes social action of some sort to change things usually. And that takes time, and people speaking out, which you have, here.

So I hear you. Anything else that I can do or that you would like from me?

Prsartist3 · Jul 21, 2017, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by here today

So sorry.

I care. What happened to you is awful. Not just the breach of confidentiality but the fact that you spent 10 years into what you thought was supposed to be a "helping" relationship only to have it end this way.

It IS an outrage.

Is there anything that I can do to support in helping you to "recover" from this? I have felt outraged by therapy, too, and logically, it seemed to me, the only way to maybe do something about it was to try to get myself "well" so that I could speak in a way that might be effective and convincing to at least a few people who hadn't had similar experiences but who had enough open-mindedness, interest, and curiosity to consider the possibility that the system is messed up and "in denial" about it and hurts some people a lot. With a broken social system it takes social action of some sort to change things usually. And that takes time, and people speaking out, which you have, here.

So I hear you. Anything else that I can do or that you would like from me?

Thanks for your concern, everyone here has been kind and helpful.
Unfortunately I don't have much/any of a support system to help me, so I'm kinda on my own. (And not doing really well) Obviously I have SEVERE trust issues with therapists so I don't see any help coming from that avenue.

But I do have a question.
Will an attorney? or another Therapist? be able to "speak for me"? In the event that I won't be able too?
Meaning, I want to tell someone this entire story in the event that if things really start going south there may finally be recoverable damages that an attorney would be interested in.
(I'm ok at the moment and not in any danger!).

I'm actually sitting in a bathroom stall at work crying uncontrobably and desperately trying to hide it from anyone who comes in. This has Become almost a daily occurrence at work and it frightens me bacause I can no longer control it like I had been able too. (Once again I'm OK, and not in any danger)

here today · 11:52 AM

So glad you're holding on so far!

You've done a good job of writing a lot of your story down just by your posts here on PsychCentral. So that's a start.

Seems like it might be good to continue to write about your experiences, for the record? And also -- just the writing can be good, as discovered by social psychologist James Pennebaker. I heard about him years ago, don't know much about what he's done recently or any corroborating evidence, but here's his homepage:

https://pennebaker.socialpsychology.org/

Some people have written about their bad therapy experiences on blogs -- Just look up bad therapy or therapist betrayal or similar terms.

PsychCentral has a way for people to create their own blogs here. I've never done it but definitely looked into it.

And posting on this forum anytime! It gets your experience out here and you can always go back and look up your previous posts if you want to use those to try to piece together the entire story.

Until you build up something better, perhaps, there is support here! And people who've been there, maybe not exactly like what you've been through, but enough similar to understand.

Wishing you the best!!!

Ididitmyway · Jul 21, 2017, 04:03 PM

I am glad you are back to this forum as it seems to me you need to have some place where you can talk about this safely without concerns that your identity will be reveled. I agree with HT that it'd be good for you to use PC to the fullest to talk about your situation and how you feel about it.

As to whether an attorney or another therapist could speak for you, I think, to some extend they might, but I don't think you'd be able to avoid the necessity to talk about this completely if you choose to pursue legal action. Once you start a legal fight, at least some amount of exposure will be a part of the process. This is just the nature of the beast. If you are not ready for it, it's better to take some time to take care of yourself first, get yourself back to balance and then think this through with the cool head. If you want your case to have any chance of winning, you need to be more mentally stable than you are right now. Otherwise, you might hurt yourself in the process more than you'd help yourself.

So, for the time being, I think, it'd be best if you postpone your search for an attorney for a little bit and use this time to take care of your emotions first. If you keep posting here it'd help you in that process. It's not the only thing that would help but it's one of the things. You don't have to file a suit right away. The statue of limitations on this kind of cases, I believe, is somewhat between 1 and 2 years depending on the state. So, you do have time to take care of yourself first and then to do it from a more balanced place where you'd be thinking more rationally than emotionally.

Prsartist3 · Jul 21, 2017, 04:15 PM

I think you may have misunderstood.
There is no attorney who will take the case (although they all agree I have a case!) so I'm basically done with that search.

This whole thing really hit me surprisingly hard, just need to find a way to let this go somehow..

Thanks for your help.

Ididitmyway · Jul 21, 2017, 06:03 PM

I guess, I did misunderstand and still do because you literally asked "will an attorney or another therapist speak for me?" So, I guess, I am not sure then what your question was about.

Jessica Hazlitt · Jul 22, 2017, 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prsartist3

Not sure if I'm posting in the right place?
I'll make this as brief as possible, please bear with me.

Been in therapy for 10 years, depression, relationship issues, multiple physical health issues.

Recently due to health issues and medications I've been rendered impotent.
(That means the pills don't work for me!)
The next option is injection therapy... my 1st attempt. Resulted in an erection
That lasted over 5hrs. And a unbelievably embarrassing and humiliating trip to the ER.
(Won't even get into the treatment for that, needless to say it's extremely embarrassing and unpleasant!).

Upon confiding in my therapist about this issue (and the obvious depression this can bring) she mentioned that she had a patient who was in a similar position and maybe
I should hear his story? I told her then, that "I have absolutely zero interest in that.
And I'm glad his life is happy with a non functioning penis"
Nothing more was said at that appt.

The following week in the waiting room before my appt. therapist comes out and
Asks if I would like to talk to this guy (he was waiting in the office!!) I told her NO!
She then asked again and I was getting furious, "I said NO!"
He got up walked out.

I am absolutely humiliated and feel like my trust was violated.
Why is she sharing extremely personal information about me with other clients??

She did not feel this was a violation???
She often talks about other clients and their expierences, and I don't see any issues with that.
The issue I have is not she told this client about me having sexual issues (I have to assume my name wasn't given out?)
The problem I have is that this "dude" is standing in my therapists office and he knows EXTREMELY personal information about me, (I'm not comfortable knowing that he is happy with his non functioning penis either That's all I freaking know about him) and now he has a face to attach whatever info she might have given out??

She could not understand why this was so upsetting to me?
Is this just a case of my therapist being a female who has absolutely no clue about how embarrassing and humiliating this type of situation is??
I'm so upset I'm just shaking right now typing this...

Can anyone give me some insight into what the **** just happened to me??
And how to 100% prevent this from ever happening again??

This was a complete violation ESPECIALLY after you told her you dint want to do it. She also set the other guy up too. A therapists gender shouldn't effect their ability to empathise. I have a male T who has worked with me through being told I couldn't have kids, miscarriage and pregnancy. He well occasionally admit he obviously can't feel some things for himself, but can feel them for me. I would definitely make an official complaint, especially as your T clearly isn't getting it. Wonder how many of her clients know she shares and how happy they are with that?

Prsartist3 · Jul 22, 2017, 05:51 AM

Yes, in hindsight I should have "Blown up" in the office just to drive this point home. I could/should have called "him" every name In the freaking book. Commented on his limp **** etc... the freaking works!
That way there could be no denial on her part, although I think she now is quite aware of what she has done weather she admits it or not. It just makes me ill that all the attorneys I've talked to think I have a case, but none will help me bacause there isn't enough recoverable damages to make it worthwhile. There simply is no justice in this world...

07:08 AM

Bringing a lot suit does not always need to be about getting a recoverable amount. If you are in a financial position to choose to work to get yourself into that situation then you could pay a lawyer to work on your behalf, especially if this is about justice for you feeling wronged. She will have to answer.

Prsartist3 · Jul 22, 2017, 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AttachmentesBueno

Bringing a lot suit does not always need to be about getting a recoverable amount. If you are in a financial position to choose to work to get yourself into that situation then you could pay a lawyer to work on your behalf, especially if this is about justice for you feeling wronged. She will have to answer.

Unfortunately it does in this case!
As every attorney ive talked too has stated the same thing.
They don't want to touch this case, as it's certainly a money loser In Their opinion

An attorney told me that a case like this can take 2 years to complete, and the cost associated with persuing this action
Could be in the $20-25k range. Therefore recoverable damages need to be considerably more than that, they would basically have to have a corpse to make it worthwhile for them to persue.

Ididitmyway · Jul 22, 2017, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prsartist3

Unfortunately it does in this case!
.

I agree. It does, unfortunately. In this country you have to be stinky rich to afford to fight for justice just for the sake of justice and pay for it out of your pocket. If you are an ordinary citizen on the lower-middle or even upper-middle income level, you'll be broke in a matter of weeks if you pay the outrageous lawyers fees. For the majority of people lawsuits have to be filed on the contingency basis, but for that to happen the lawyers must believe they will get enough out of it for themselves otherwise there is no point for them to get involved. It's called a corrupt justice system..just like everything else.

Prsartist3 · Jul 23, 2017, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

I agree. It does, unfortunately. In this country you have to be stinky rich to afford to fight for justice just for the sake of justice and pay for it out of your pocket. If you are an ordinary citizen on the lower-middle or even upper-middle income level, you'll be broke in a matter of weeks if you pay the outrageous lawyers fees. For the majority of people lawsuits have to be filed on the contingency basis, but for that to happen the lawyers must believe they will get enough out of it for themselves otherwise there is no point for them to get involved. It's called a corrupt justice system..just like everything else.

👍 Couldn't have said it better!

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