[Calilady]

My former therapist's b-day is the third week of August. We parted ways this past Friday.

I've yet to feel the "feels" about it, as I'm angry and it just happened. I kinda hope to not hear from her again (she's told me before if I ended things prematurely- because I'm an "avoidant"- that she would reach out to me for a "termination session"), as she had told me recently that she wouldn't let me go w/o a fight...well, within reason she said (but that applied to ending my therapy sessions via e-mail or something...not like the argument she and I had which I wrote about here).

The thing is I have already ordered and paid for a poem I wrote to be etched in glass for her b-day. I guess I could keep it as a memory. I do still very much care for her and just started to tear up about what happened and it prob won't hit me until Friday rolls around- therapy day- when I'm not getting dressed to go.

What would you guys do? I want to move on, don't want to keep the wound open and let this go...but I did care about her. By the time her b-day rolls around, I hope to have found a new therapist by then.

Kinda conflicted. Thank you for listening.

[JaneTennison1]

it's too soon to make a decision. You have weeks to decide so why not let this sit with you for a while. It's very new and very painful and it's ok to take time.

[Calilady]

Would anyone mind reading it? I might find it a bit cathartic to express it, if someone wouldn't mind reading it.
She's very ambitious for her age and successful and loves weightlifting/crossfit, so I wrote it with that in mind:

She ran after her dream with a reckless abandon, a woman purely engulfed in fire.
She took no prisoners, had no fear, and ran after whatever she desired.

This woman, intent on leading, pursued a dream that she had held dear,
but little did she know, all that she ever wanted was so very near.

She blazed a trail to victory, amassing large sums of recognition and wealth.
She carved herself a physique of her own, on her way to perfect health.

She made herself a name and always stood out in a crowd,
her loved ones reveled in her success and she made them very proud.

And as she accomplished her goals and amassed many triumphs, she saw a finish line much closer in view...
so she reminisced on all her successes and realized that now, they were much different than she once knew.

See, it wasn't the money, the fame, the accolades or even a certain prize...
it was the human connections that she had forged which had made her feel alive.

It was that her very being was embedded in the hearts of the souls she had touched,
people who also held her very dear and valued her very much.

These people would look back, too, and think of her as well,
and when they did, they thought of her so fondly, their hearts began to swell.

Her greatest achievements were those lives she had impacted and the memory rested in their mutual hearts,
connections that even though may have been dormant, were never truly too far apart.

This woman, intent on leading, never had to run too far or overly pursue...
all that she wanted was in her from the start, and now a little is in me, because of you.

[rainbow8]

It's very touching, and I would give it to her. Did you want to wait until her birthday, though? Or give it to her now? If you think you'll have a new T by then, you can ask the new T what she or he thinks. Or you can give it to her now, as a kind of good-bye/birthday poem. Go with your gut feeling. Mine is that you wrote it for her, and it will be meaningful in spite of the way you and she terminated therapy.

[Sunflower123]

It's very moving. Nicely done. You have plenty of time to think about whether to give it to her for her birthday, before then or not at all. Take some time to think about it. I wish you well.

[unaluna]

How big is the sheet of glass for that?

[southernsky]

That was a very touching and thoughtful gift. After reading your other threads though, I'm not sure if she has really earned such a gift from you and I'm not sure that giving it to her would really have a positive impact. If you can cancel it, i would. If you can't cancel it, I wonder if it might be best to put it away for now until you have a clear feeling about what to do with it. Perhaps at some point you might look back at it and realize that like the woman in your poem, you actually do have a lot of inner strength to help yourself recover and it really wasn't about what this therapist did after all.

[Calilady]

Originally Posted by southernsky

That was a very touching and thoughtful gift. After reading your other threads though, I'm not sure if she has really earned such a gift from you and I'm not sure that giving it to her would really have a positive impact. If you can cancel it, i would. If you can't cancel it, I wonder if it might be best to put it away for now until you have a clear feeling about what to do with it. Perhaps at some point you might look back at it and realize that like the woman in your poem, you actually do have a lot of inner strength to help yourself recover and it really wasn't about what this therapist did after all.

Omg. You brought tears to my eyes. This is exactly what my ex-husband said and advised me to do. Thank you so much. I'm going to re-read this.