Punishing the client

Don't know if this is normal, it hasnt been in my own experience but maybe they are trying a new method on me. Either way it's not been effective. It just makes me worse.

So my new therapist, who can not remember my name and constantly keeps asking if I'm sure im her client after 2 months of being together decided to ignore my pleas at first of "Please I'm doing really badly, I need to see a psychiatrist to go back on my medicine"

I told her I was having bad memory problems and was dissociating pretty bad. I was getting very depressed, crying alot, not eating, not sleeping, not wanting to exist. etc. She goes "I think you just need to try harder" after a month I go "this isn't working just let me see someone" (Where i go the therapit must make a referral no other way around that and no place else to go in my small community )

She does. So with my memory problems I decided to tack this appointment up in every room. The day comes, and I forget, cause I was zoned out/dissociated/not myself. And the reminders were gone, they had disappeared i assumed in one of my states that I tore them down and put them someplace i can't remember

So I called hte psychiatrist a day later and she was upset as was my therapist that I missed the appointment. I asked for a re-scheule she said in a months time I asked for something sooner since I am really really not doing well. and she told me I have nothing else for -you-.
She put the emphasis on you.

I saw my therapist a few days later and she spent the entire session shaming me for missing the appt and saying how disappointed she was that I couldn't manage to keep one appt and that I must not want to get better and not trying hard enough. And that if I dont want to try she won't work with me and i wont be able to see anyone in that office anymore.

So now I have to wait an extra month.

I think it's time to find a new therapist ASAP!

I am sorry to hear that you have had this experience.

I can empathize with a bad memory. Recently when I get appointments I'll text them to my partner who logs the days on his phone so that one of us will remember. Do you have someone in your life who you could pass your appointment days/times to, they could write it down and make sure you get there if you happen to dissociate on an appointment day in the future?

I'm sorry you had this experience. That's so terrible.

It sounds like it is time to find another t. Is that possible in your location? If you change t's, can you get to a pdoc directly?

Your story reminds me of place I lived where to get a pdoc appt, I needed to go through a referral line, and the referral line kept telling me I needed to be actively suicidal to get an appt. I was unable to explain to them how stupid that policy was!! My PCP / GP ended up giving me samples that I'd pick up once a month!