The Couch 146 : The Untouchable, Nontotient, Octahedral, Composite Couch.

Jul 08, 2017 at 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

If I end up dead or homeless or whatever I don't even really care. I've decided to take a break from T and therapy and its just what I think is best for now

Please take care, jDNA. This sounds very ominous.

Jul 08, 2017 at 08:50 AM

RoboT has said this to me quite a bit, actually. That he's impressed that I'm going through my stuff at such a young age (younger than he was, haha). I don't know, I guess I've never ascribed to the stigma that is psychotherapy, and I was in therapy all through high school, so I don't find it weird or spectacular that I am my age and doing this.

Thanks to those of you who were so supportive last night, by the way. I am feeling better (emotionally) this morning.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 08, 2017 at 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

If I end up dead or homeless or whatever I don't even really care. I've decided to take a break from T and therapy and its just what I think is best for now

Please try to take care of yourself. I know you say you don't care, but still try to be safe. Especially with the drugs, because I know around here there have been issues of it being laced with fentanyl and stuff like that.

Maybe don't shut the door entirely on your T, in case you do feel in a week or two that you do want to talk to him. I know you don't feel that way now, but still try to keep things open. Has he responded yet about the canceled appointments?

junkDNA · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Please try to take care of yourself. I know you say you don't care, but still try to be safe. Especially with the drugs, because I know around here there have been issues of it being laced with fentanyl and stuff like that.

Maybe don't shut the door entirely on your T, in case you do feel in a week or two that you do want to talk to him. I know you don't feel that way now, but still try to keep things open. Has he responded yet about the canceled appointments?

He just did...

😢
The Couch 146 : The Untouchable, Nontotient, Octahedral, Composite Couch.

Jul 08, 2017 at 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

If I end up dead or homeless or whatever I don't even really care. I've decided to take a break from T and therapy and its just what I think is best for now

Not sure how I missed this post. Please take care of yourself, DNA.

junkDNA · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:07 AM

Oh God I feel terrible. My poor T he does not deserve this

88Butterfly88 · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:09 AM

Hi couch. A friend just asked me how I was and I said okay. But I'm not okay, I just don't want to worry them. Sorry to worry you guys but I don't want to lie to everyone.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Oh God I feel terrible. My poor T he does not deserve this

He obviously cares about you. That comes through in the texts. Would you consider going to see him, just to talk about taking the break and why you want it?

Jul 08, 2017 at 09:18 AM

Morning couch, I'm up early and it's already 90 F degrees out so I'm heading to the pool.

junkDNA · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:20 AM

Now he sent this is serious sarah. You need help.

If he freaking calls my mom I'm gonna freak out. She triggers me and she is often of no help anyway. And she can't do anything about it so it's stupid if he does.

Elio · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

Hi couch. A friend just asked me how I was and I said okay. But I'm not okay, I just don't want to worry them. Sorry to worry you guys but I don't want to lie to everyone.

One of the many many reasons we are here - so that we can take our masks off for just a moment and not lie to someone or ourselves about how things really are for us at any given moment.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Now he sent this is serious sarah. You need help.

If he freaking calls my mom I'm gonna freak out. She triggers me and she is often of no help anyway. And she can't do anything about it so it's stupid if he does.

Can you tell him you don't want him to do that (I'd think that would violate confidentiality)? And agree to see him, just to talk?

healed84 · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:27 AM

JD- you are punishing yourself and you don't deserve it. See t tomorrow, please.

junkDNA · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:30 AM

I'm scared he's gonna call the police on me or something. I shouldn't have even said anything to him about it

88Butterfly88 · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:31 AM

Thanks Elio.

JD- I agree with healed.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

I'm scared he's gonna call the police on me or something. I shouldn't have even said anything to him about it

Tell him you'll come see him, and that you're worried about him calling the police. Hopefully he'll reassure you that he won't.

ruh roh · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:39 AM

JD, Your therapist is right. This is serious and you do need help. I'm not sure that his observation means your mother is the one to help? Seems like more addiction recovery help is what's needed.

I visited my sister in the hospital last month after her most recent bender. She looked like an 80 year old carcass--not even human really, and that was after she'd gotten better. Her brain is shot from decades of addiction. She will never live independently. Her life is one long slow death. She always thought she knew better than everyone and could do what she wanted and was in control of her drug and alcohol use. She is a shell. She can't even put together much of a sentence.

You actually have a shot here to get better. I would listen to your therapist on this one and get help.

88Butterfly88 · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:46 AM

JD- I think you did the right thing telling him.

BayBrony · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Now he sent this is serious sarah. You need help.

If he freaking calls my mom I'm gonna freak out. She triggers me and she is often of no help anyway. And she can't do anything about it so it's stupid if he does.

Just take care of yourself.
Do you have another trustworthy responsible person besides your mom? If you dont I get it, I had no one for a long time.
Your T has gotten you through a lot and he really does care. Maybe give him a chance to help.
Sending you love and light

junkDNA · Jul 08, 2017 at 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Tell him you'll come see him, and that you're worried about him calling the police. Hopefully he'll reassure you that he won't.

I don't want to see him!!!!

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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,304 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,152 hugs given	Jul 08, 2017 at 09:07 AM #206 Oh God I feel terrible. My poor T he does not deserve this __________________

88Butterfly88 Moderator Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015 Location: New Jersey Posts: 54,262 (SuperPoster!) 8 10.5k hugs given	Jul 08, 2017 at 09:09 AM #207 Hi couch. A friend just asked me how I was and I said okay. But I'm not okay, I just don't want to worry them. Sorry to worry you guys but I don't want to lie to everyone.

Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Jul 08, 2017 at 09:18 AM #209 Morning couch, I'm up early and it's already 90 F degrees out so I'm heading to the pool.

junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,304 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,152 hugs given	Jul 08, 2017 at 09:20 AM #210 Now he sent this is serious sarah. You need help. If he freaking calls my mom I'm gonna freak out. She triggers me and she is often of no help anyway. And she can't do anything about it so it's stupid if he does. __________________

junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,304 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,152 hugs given	Jul 08, 2017 at 09:30 AM #214 I'm scared he's gonna call the police on me or something. I shouldn't have even said anything to him about it __________________

88Butterfly88 Moderator Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015 Location: New Jersey Posts: 54,262 (SuperPoster!) 8 10.5k hugs given	Jul 08, 2017 at 09:31 AM #215 Thanks Elio. JD- I agree with healed.

88Butterfly88 Moderator Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015 Location: New Jersey Posts: 54,262 (SuperPoster!) 8 10.5k hugs given	Jul 08, 2017 at 09:46 AM #218 JD- I think you did the right thing telling him.