I have read so many posts where clients have had out of hours contact with their T & then this facility is then taken away. What I don't understand is, why do they allow this contact initially, if all they are going to do is take it away? I don't have this issue, but I feel so upset for those who do. It's cruel, heartless & just seems to me to enhance the T's already powerful position. I used to contact my T out of hours a few years ago, but I tend not to need to now, but I know in my head that if I really need him, he will be at the end of the phone. That in itself is incredibly supportive. I wonder if these T's know just how by doing this, how badly they make their clients feel?

[porcelainboy]

I'm not sure about lone Ts but it may be a violation of the private practice's rules if they work with one. My T has never had any problems breaking the rules for me regarding other things, but as far as I'm aware there aren't any rules against outside contact.
However, each establishment has different rules. I don't know if it's the T always making that decision, or the higher ups doing it for them.

[20oney]

Good question. My personal opinion is that therapists can the out of session contact when they feel the client is ready. Or if it gets out of hand, in that the client become too reliant on this sort of contact and cannot maintain boundaries. I haven't been through it, my therapist still encourages me to email. But I wouldn't be surprised if she banned it. I do rely on it as my way of communicating, it's the only way we get anything out of our sessions, which is primarily why it is probably still allowed. But I think there will come a day where she will put a stop to it to help me to open up more in person..

Overall, I am sure that they know what they're doing, and the hurt that they cause. But I guess it hurts for a reason, and is something to be discussed..

Just my thoughts, on my personal experience with out of session contact..

[DodgersMom]

i talked to mine about this, because this forum has put this fear in me. he reassured me it will NEVER happen as long as i am not trying to track him down and be heavily involved in his personal life, even then, he would talk with me about it first.

[rainbow8]

My T changed the email rules because I told her I was becoming upset with some of her responses. She wasn't answering the way I wanted, and I was frustrated. So it was for my benefit that she stopped answering them for awhile.

At some point, she resumed responding to my emails because I asked her to. This time I was determined to be satisfied with whatever she wrote back, even if it was brief. It's been working fine for about 5 years now.

[stopdog]

I have absolutely no belief that therapists have even the slightest bit of knowledge about what they are doing.
I think they simply get overwhelmed or pissed off and want it to stop.

[DodgersMom]

^ then why would you pay for one??

i wouldn't pay someone for their service if i didn't think they knew what they were doing. makes no sense really

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think they simply get overwhelmed or pissed off and want it to stop.

I think this is likely. I'd bet that often T's have certain expectations about how out-of-session contact will be used and do not clarify those expectations at the outset. Or, maybe, they like the idea of being available but find they cannot cope with the reality of it.

[Salmon77]

My guess would be that Ts might allow it with clients who are in crisis or in a state where they need a lot of help (very depressed or manic, for example). Then when the client has improved that much contact is no longer needed. It does seem like the change is very tough for some people, and maybe their Ts aren't explaining very well.

My therapist believed it was best to overt crisis. It is better for the client's emotional and physical health. I didn't need to work myself into crisis before a response, none of her clients did. For people on psych meds I would imagine if a crisis state can be diverted it would lead to less increases in medication or changes altogether, and for sure less trips to the emergency rooms and hospitalizations.

Therapist also need to warn clients in the beginning that they may not read/respond to all or any email. They also need to make sure the client is in agreement with this. If they have responded to most emails in the beginning and that changes for whatever reasons the therapist has they can remind the client of how out of office contact works.

My therapist responded very liberally to my emails, but when I would read this forum I often thought my email setup of just being able to send as many as I wanted would abruptly end and I would get very distressed. My therapist often reassured me that was not the case. One day when it seemed like everyone on PC was having email issues I kept apologizing for sending what most would consider an excessive amount of emails, and she wanted me to stop apologizing, but also wanted to address the fact that somethings in her life had come up and was taking a lot of time and she may not respond as frequently. I reminded her of her caveat when I first started sending emails, 6 in one night saying I wasn't expecting a response, but she responded to all at length, "I may not be able to read and respond to all your emails." She said she remembered what she said, but did not want me to get hurt if there was a change in our pattern, especially because I was reacting to email issues posted on PC. It did not bother me if this change happened, because I had prepared for it with my first emails. But, the change never came.

[Ellahmae]

My therapist allows 24 hour access to her. The first couple of years she told me to text whatever, whenever - didn't matter. "I" abused this privilege about 7 months ago, and although she went about the session/conversation wrong we both understand. Flash forward to now - I realize that I was using her as a friend and not as a clinician, that was where the problem lay. Now I can text her clinical things pertaining to myself, but not the friend stuff. It makes sense to me.

Bring you in, trust them - they teach, allow contact, still teaching and then like a little bird little by little you have to learn to fly. They won't always be there and at some point we need to begin to rely on ourselves instead of our therapists.

I am not going to lie and say it's so easy and great and this is how it's supposed to be! It sucks, it's hard, sometimes it's confusing but it's worth it for the autonomy that it gives.

[junkDNA]

I think my T under estimated my levels of crazy