[Calilady]

Like if it's a female, does she show you her nails or talk about her haircut or what she's doing for the weekend? Maybe she's going skydiving or watching a flick?

Does that play into your sessions at all (beginning, middle, or end)?

Bonus question: Does he/she discuss other patients but not give their name? Like, I have a client/patient who's into BDSM, so I can take hearing all kinds of sexual talk...etc...

[DodgersMom]

well mine is a male but yes, we discuss "personal" stuff often. i never really ask but he just tells me things. it helps make me feel more comfortable with him so i enjoy it, it happens throughout the session, no specific time

yes he often tells me about other clients, but never names. just for reasons similar to the current topic... for instant, when he asked me if it was ok to hug me, we discussed he hugs other clients as well...

[atisketatasket]

Absolutely not. I am not paying them to hear about their lives. Or their favorite color of nail polish.

[LostOnTheTrail]

It doesn't come into my therapy, but R and I now exchange 'How are yous' as a matter of course, after months of me wincing at the question.

[Calilady]

Hmmm. This is interesting. I'd love to hear more responses out there.

[Pennster]

Not generally, no, allthough sometimes he will talk about something light at the end of a session as a way of wrapping things up so I don't leave in an overly emotional state.

[Travelinglady]

I might comment on something she's wearing--or she might do the same. We might talk about the weather or some such. Nothing really personal on her part--except many about her dogs or something along that line.

[Salmon77]

Not much. Sometimes weekend plans and other stuff like that come up in the course of conversation but it's never just chatting.

ETA: Sometimes my T will make a general statement like "Some clients like to..." but never anything about a single specific person.

[ElectricManatee]

Not usually, no. If there is any small talk, it's usually at the beginning and very brief (like three minutes or less). Sometimes one of us will notice something and comment on it or mention something about the weather. But usually when I'm there, I'm ready to get down to business, so I don't want to spend time on surface stuff. I can't think of a single time when she just casually told me about her weekend or whatever.

ETA: No, she never talks about other clients, which I appreciate immensely. She might say something like, "Sometimes when people feel that way, they respond by..." or she might tell me that she has experience helping people with X thing, but she never tells me anybody else's story. I like that this means she isn't telling other people my story either.

[MessyD]

Not really, and if he does its very little and usually because I asked. Or if it is something related to me and my story, he might use his experience to compare. He did say he has heard all kind of things from people, just to make it easier for me to talk about difficult subjects but I've never heard any specifics about his clients.

No because she is secretive about her life, but I read the title too fast and read it as "do you exchange panties with your therapist?"

I don't do that either.

[ruh roh]

I don't talk to anyone about nails. Hair is a big topic, but my therapist doesn't talk about hers--I am the one with the hair cut issues and family drama around what's appropriate for females. We do share a non-gender associated interest and I like to talk about that sometimes and she will share things--but that, too, is therapy related.

I always did. Especially the last 15-20 minutes to wind me down from very aroused states of working on my FOO crap and immediate family crisis I was having with my child. She tried to always make sure I was in a grounded state before I left her office.

I would always ask her questions about her life and what she was up-to. She often shared her past with out to much prompting but current happenings I usually asked first.

She has shared situations about other clients with know revealing details.

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by Calilady

Like if it's a female, does she show you her nails or talk about her haircut or what she's doing for the weekend? Maybe she's going skydiving or watching a flick?

Does that play into your sessions at all (beginning, middle, or end)?

Bonus question: Does he/she discuss other patients but not give their name? Like, I have a client/patient who's into BDSM, so I can take hearing all kinds of sexual talk...etc...

No. We exchange quick how are you's or talk about the weather briefly at the start for a little warming up, but no other personal pleasantries really. She told me a little about her vacation recently only because I asked. I do need to have a rapport with the person I am working so intimately with and that is coming through relevant self-disclosures which is perfect so far. My old t and I exchanged pleasantries all the time. The boundary confusion lead to all kinds of disastrous, non-therapeutic things.

Bonus answer: Yes, my t will give client examples without naming names. They are always relevant to whatever I am discussing though.

[satsuma]

Yes, sometimes. I think it's actually a technique he uses, to wind down when we've been talking about difficult things, before the end of the session. T will ask me what I'm planning for the weekend and we will chat about it a little. Also, sometimes when I've been feeling panicked he talks about something he thinks I would be interested in, just to help me calm down a bit. T is very good at this kind of thing, and I like that we can chat about everyday things as well as talking about really serious stuff.

And for the bonus question no, my T will not disclose any single thing about his other clients. I've tried asking because I'm actually curious about what other people go to therapy for and what kinds of people go, and how I compare to his other clients. But T is scrupulously confidential!

[stopdog]

No. I have not the slightest interest in what she does on weekends or how she wears her hair. Or what she thinks about almost anything. I usually tell her just not to talk at all.

The woman has talked about other clients at times - mostly to tell me they are nicer to her than I am and to tell me other clients love her

[BonnieJean]

No, not at all that i can recall. Although one of us may wish the other a good weekend - if that counts.

[unaluna]

We sometimes talk a little about world events, like sports or politics or the weather.

[Elio]

We exchange how are you's, this was a big issue for me at about month 8 as I felt I was being too intrusive to ask her how she was doing. It lead to some interesting discussions and several weeks of uncomfortable beginnings. Now it is back most the times but not always. Sometimes I ask and sometimes I just jump into things.

We might also make a little small talk around the weather or something going on in town. It is not common, it is not unusual either. I have strict rules for myself not to ask her about personal things even things that she might not have a problem answering. So I don't ask very often. There have been a few times where I have asked something personal and she'll say that she doesn't want answer at this time. If I ask her what she thinks about something I've shared or we've done, I usually get the "what do you think I think/feel about it" answer.

She has not shared stories regarding a specific patient, she has used the "people sometimes feel this way..." or "it is common to have ..."

There has been a lot of political talk since the elections... but in this case I don't think that is completely small talk since I live in the alphabet soup of sexual minorities... LGBTQAI...world.

Just for the sake of it rarely, and it is never longer than 1-2 minutes. I don't really need anything to warm up or wind down and prefer to get to what I want to talk about directly. One of my Ts often started asking how I was doing, but I took it to jump into therapy material and never asked back. He mentioned things about other clients sometimes but it was always in context of what I was talking about. We would also talk about books, travel, politics, art in relation to therapy talk. I never make comments on my Ts appearance or what they are wearing.

[anais_anais]

Once in a while with both Ts-- at the end while I am writing the check. Or sometimes if a topic is too heavy and I'm overwhelmed but we still have time on the clock,, I'll bring up a chatty/small-talk conversation until I'm ready to get back into things, but that is my own defense mechanism, never something started by my Ts.

I do like the chatting time though. My therapists are both very fun and interesting people to talk to, though it isn't why I am there.

[Polibeth]

She makes brief small talk heading out to the waiting room at the end of our session. Nothing serious and nothing I'd mind the next person in the waiting room hearing.

[Sarah1985]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Just depends.... sometimes it's nice to chit-chat before getting to the hard stuff.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Calilady

Like if it's a female, does she show you her nails or talk about her haircut or what she's doing for the weekend? Maybe she's going skydiving or watching a flick?

Does that play into your sessions at all (beginning, middle, or end)?

Bonus question: Does he/she discuss other patients but not give their name? Like, I have a client/patient who's into BDSM, so I can take hearing all kinds of sexual talk...etc...

No, I don't want to get that personal with her. Just want to do the therapy and leave. Heard too many horror stories of people getting close to their therapist and can't live without them once the sessions are over for good. I think my T, and she is the best T I've ever had, both respect each other's boundaries. But that's just our situation and not judging anyone else.

My t and I chat about all kinds
of things like that.
No,
she does not talk about other clients.