[Calilady]

I had set-up this appointment with a new therapist about two weeks ago when things really went downhill with regular T. At the beginning of this week, I was gonna totally cancel w/him and remain loyal and faithful to my regular therapist...forcing myself to go and spend a session w/her despite the pain.

I totally forgot to cancel him.

Then last night, I get a text from regular female therapist saying she has to cancel our appointment for tomorrow, that she has had a loss in her family and that she was leaving out of town last night and if it would be okay just to see her next Friday at the same time.

Then, this morning, as I was leaving the gas station, I saw her walking into a breakfast spot that is in our area. This is her 4th cancellation in the last 3-4 months, all which have been on Friday's. I lacked trust in her already, it was practically nil, then when I saw her, I felt hopeless. Plans can indeed change, but I wonder if 4 cancellations in as many months is excessive?

It worked out well because I went to see this guy. He was nice and a bit more gentle. We talked about boundaries. Instead of joking around and ribbing me for my need for space, he respected it. He even asked if he was sitting too close to me, whereas regular female therapist would make note of it in a passive way, "I see you're anxious, but don't worry, you're still sitting the furthest away from me on the couch and you have your protective pillow to block me."

We talked about her, although he didn't want to bash her and made sure to say she's not a bad person or a bad therapist. He said that I probably have done all the work w/her that I can. That she did blur the boundaries a bit and that at some points, made it about her when it should be about me. When I told him that she didn't want to talk about anything but the week before because she felt I wasn't ready, he tilted his head to the side and said, "I'm sorry she felt this way and you're here now, when you want to stay with her, but it sounds like she wasn't ready. Not you. She wasn't ready." Overall, he said that it sounded like she didn't "get it" or what I needed, but that it was okay.

Overall, I enjoyed my time with him and will return to see him next week.

[ElectricManatee]

I'm so glad you're giving another therapist a try! It sounds like this new guy really tried to be comforting and understanding, which is a great sign.

[Calilady]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

I'm so glad you're giving another therapist a try! It sounds like this new guy really tried to be comforting and understanding, which is a great sign.

Yes, thank goodness! Yay! Lol.

[nyc artist]

Originally Posted by Calilady

I had set-up this appointment with a new therapist about two weeks ago when things really went downhill with regular T. At the beginning of this week, I was gonna totally cancel w/him and remain loyal and faithful to my regular therapist...forcing myself to go and spend a session w/her despite the pain.

I totally forgot to cancel him.

Then last night, I get a text from regular female therapist saying she has to cancel our appointment for tomorrow, that she has had a loss in her family and that she was leaving out of town last night and if it would be okay just to see her next Friday at the same time.

Then, this morning, as I was leaving the gas station, I saw her walking into a breakfast spot that is in our area. This is her 4th cancellation in the last 3-4 months, all which have been on Friday's. I lacked trust in her already, it was practically nil, then when I saw her, I felt hopeless. Plans can indeed change, but I wonder if 4 cancellations in as many months is excessive?

It worked out well because I went to see this guy. He was nice and a bit more gentle. We talked about boundaries. Instead of joking around and ribbing me for my need for space, he respected it. He even asked if he was sitting too close to me, whereas regular female therapist would make note of it in a passive way, "I see you're anxious, but don't worry, you're still sitting the furthest away from me on the couch and you have your protective pillow to block me."

We talked about her, although he didn't want to bash her and made sure to say she's not a bad person or a bad therapist. He said that I probably have done all the work w/her that I can. That she did blur the boundaries a bit and that at some points, made it about her when it should be about me. When I told him that she didn't want to talk about anything but the week before because she felt I wasn't ready, he tilted his head to the side and said, "I'm sorry she felt this way and you're here now, when you want to stay with her, but it sounds like she wasn't ready. Not you. She wasn't ready." Overall, he said that it sounded like she didn't "get it" or what I needed, but that it was okay.

Overall, I enjoyed my time with him and will return to see him next week.

WOW. This sounds like it could have come right from me! I just went through this exact situation 5 months ago. Now with my male T, I couldn't be "happier." He is so different from the female Ts I had and working with him has been a breath of fresh air.

I hope seeing this new T will be as great for you as it is for me. From the way it sounds, it will be. Have you told female T that you are seeing him?

Great for you! I saw a second T for the first time some weeks ago for LGBTQ issues my regular T can't help with. He was fine with me seeing two Ts and said they have clients with the same arrangement. He also told me it's up to me if I tell my regular T or not.

[Out There]

That sounds very promising - I like the sound of new T !

[NP_Complete]

That must have hurt when you saw your t and knew she lied to you. I can't imagine how betrayed I would feel. This new guy sounds like a keeper though.

[Calilady]

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

That must have hurt when you saw your t and knew she lied to you. I can't imagine how betrayed I would feel. This new guy sounds like a keeper though.

It did very much. I looked forward to my sessions with her all week. To see this was very devastating.