[BlueJeans00]

Hey, is it abusive say someone is upset and stress and anxiety about something that happened and they saying to other person I should kill myself. Then the othet person tells them "Go and kill yourself" is that abusive?

[Amyjay]

Would you tell someone to go kill themselves? Would you think that was helpful or kind or appropriate?

[satsuma]

I think the answer is NO it's not appropriate at all. It's a very horrible thing to say.
The only mitigating thing I can think of is that sometimes when someone is very upset by something or at the end of their rope emotionally, they might say something that they don't mean and regret saying afterwards. It's still a horrible thing to say.
Did this actually happen?

[Salmon77]

I can imagine someone saying this out of anger or to call a bluff, so to speak. If the threat has been made often or in a manipulative way. I'm not sure about abusive but certainly not cool.

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by satsuma

I think the answer is NO it's not appropriate at all. It's a very horrible thing to say.
The only mitigating thing I can think of is that sometimes when someone is very upset by something or at the end of their rope emotionally, they might say something that they don't mean and regret saying afterwards. It's still a horrible thing to say.
Did this actually happen?

Yes it did.
I was upset by the way my psychiatrist was cold to me and how my partner didn't say much.
So once the session ended I left and my partner hugged me because he saw me crying,before we crossed the road. When I was in the car I started saying how I should die and no one cares and the psychiatrics was cold and he said he wasnt there.for.thearpy he was.there.for.a.check in. I said but the meds affect our sex.life and I started blamming him for not helping or.being supportive in thearpy. I also mentioned how sex.is boring and well.he got upset. I could tell.by his voice cracking. He kept telling me that I was upset because I didn't got thearpy from psychiatrics it was just update. I was just upset because I didn't felt I was taken seriously,even though I told this to the psychiatrist and he apologies it didn't help. I just felt I was wasting my time and theres at that appointment.
Anyway, I kept saying I will kill myself and he got angry and told me to.kill myself.

Later he told me he doesn't like hearing it, because it reminds him.of when he try to committed suicide when he was 5 and others as well.
He mentioned he dreads coming over because of.us figting and emotional ups and downs.

So.I realised I.need to take steps to get better. Which is meeting people. Because I experience advoidant personality disorder. My therapist, keyworker have been hacking away at me with it and my partner and it finally I guess sinked in. The reason why its important its because I put all my emotional bag on my.partner because I have no friends and my.family isn't emotional supportive. So my therapist suggested meeting people and creating a support system,but how to meet people is another thing again. Or steps in doing it.

[satsuma]

I'm sorry that you're going through such a difficult time, BlueJeans.

Regarding your partner's comment - from how you have described it here, it sounds to me like you have a partner who cares very much about you, but that both of you were really struggling to cope when your emotions were so heightened after your session with the psychiatrist.

I think it's really good that you recognise the big effect that this has on your partner as well as on yourself. I hope that you can keep working with the T and pdoc to try to improve things. I probably don't have the same situation as you but I'm so, so glad that I stuck at therapy and kept moving forwards because my life is a lot lot better now than it used to be. And I used to want to die a lot, but now it's very rare for me to think like that. I hope you can keep going, and try some of the things your T suggests, even if they are really hard. Because it can get better and you deserve to have a happy life!

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by satsuma

I'm sorry that you're going through such a difficult time, BlueJeans.

Regarding your partner's comment - from how you have described it here, it sounds to me like you have a partner who cares very much about you, but that both of you were really struggling to cope when your emotions were so heightened after your session with the psychiatrist.

I think it's really good that you recognise the big effect that this has on your partner as well as on yourself. I hope that you can keep working with the T and pdoc to try to improve things. I probably don't have the same situation as you but I'm so, so glad that I stuck at therapy and kept moving forwards because my life is a lot lot better now than it used to be. And I used to want to die a lot, but now it's very rare for me to think like that. I hope you can keep going, and try some of the things your T suggests, even if they are really hard. Because it can get better and you deserve to have a happy life!

Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it.
It gives a sense a hope, from your experience getting better.
Thank you.