Have you ever got a negative response for texting your T?

Has anyone text their t and then had them take issue with it in the next session? My T mentioned once that if I really needed to I could text her and she would respond once to let me know she was listening. I had never even mentioned texting or outside contact to her before (although had thought about it ) and whilst she was the one that offered it I wasn't 100% convinced she liked the idea but was offering it as a 'just in case'. Anyway I finally text her last month after a particularly deep session for the first time. It was a pretty short and relatively tame message that was only about me just saying a few sentences about how I felt e.g how I found it an extremely tough session but felt I was unearthing some things and felt positive. I ended it by closing the conversation to show I wasn't planning on more texts by saying that we could discuss it more in next session two weeks later. Her response was extremely 'cold' , short and ended with 'we will discuss further in next session'. ... it was almost abrupt ...I know she must remain professional but I'm a bit thrown by it. I wasn't expecting a lengthy response or anything nor did I want a deep discussion about what I brought up . I did expect 'a' response which I got but I thought she would have perhaps been more understanding in sensitive in her response" as she is in the sessions. I brought up the msg in my last session two weeks ago but I didn't share my annoyance about her response (I know people will say I should and maybe I will next time). Her reply was 'oh yes.... your text' I got the feeling she was a bit bothered by it which bothers me as she was the one that offered it. Do you think she is maybe scared she has opened a bag of worms and that I'm going to now start texting her all the time?
Had I known this would have happened I would have never sent a msg. It took me a lot of courage to reach out like that and felt 'needy' so is not something I did lightly on a whim.
Has this happened anyone else? Has your T offered this and then responded badly? I get when Ts do it after someone goes too far or starts to text too much but this was really just a once off pro give it a try but I don't think I will be doing again anytime soon.

I would tell the therapist that I was pissed that they had set me up.

I have emailed my T a few times. His responses are short (1 sentence), professional, and geared towards the next session. From my POV that is not a "bad" response, but a brief one, limited by the mode of communication. If he sent something longer I would analyze it endlessly and/or respond in more detail (and thus expect a detailed response from him in turn).

I encourage you to talk with your T about why the text felt like a letdown, what you were looking for, and whether texts can provide it. Definitely share your feelings!

I think you're right that your therapist was afraid you would now start texting if she encouraged you in any way. If she's that rigid about it then you're right, she never should have offered at all. I think you have a right to be hurt and even confused and that she definitely handled the whole topic badly. She gets all the demerits for the whole episode.

Could she have minterpreted the tone of your text? Im just throwing things out there, as I don't know what you said. I have had a lot of miscommunication with people through text because you can't hear them or see their expression.

How did she react in person?

I have gotten in a few text arguments with my T

I totally get that this can happen a lot when texting. My message was only about 6 sentences long saying what I said above how I felt after the session etc . Really no way I don't think that the tone could have be misinterpreted though . Her response was literally, 'hi, got your text.. we will discuss further at next session'
In person she was still her normal professional caring self . When I mentioned the text I felt a slight difference for a split second.

Yes, I agree I feel perhaps she thought it may be helpful in theory but then when the reality of it happened she panicked slightly as she thought it may be the start of me texting regularly. Maybe something like that has happened before .

Thanks skeksi . I do plan to bring it up in the next session. As I said I didn't expect a lengthy response just perhaps not so abrupt and annoyed by it.

Sometimes texting implies it needs to be responded to immediately. Maybe there would be less pressure if it was email? But again if she offered it....

She could have added an extra sentence, to soften it up a bit, but people do have different communication styles and in a way she did what she promised - noted your text and added you two will see and talk. It in not necessarily cold in her record let alone her being pissed off. I understand you well, that you hoped for a more personal answer but maybe that is just her way to text when there is no crisis or anything. But talk to her about it!

Mine doesn't always answer at all, but she has said that she might not answer if she doesn't know what to say and/or want to think about it or talk during next session. And it is a bit disappointing then. Sometimes she just lets me know she read it with a smiley or something. Sometimes she writes more. And to be honest, of course I prefer the longer answers that feel friendlier but I am now used to her style and don't think she is cold or pissed off or something with less.

I understand feeling upset when the received response is different than you expected. However, right now based on your description I don't see any evidence that she got annoyed or panicked or whatever because you really haven't talked to her about it. Your judgements about her reactions are based on your own feelings and these could be very well projected.

The only viable way to find out how things really are is to tell her honestly about everything, especially your annoyance or upset with her. Then you can conclude from her feedback (reactions and words) to these revelations whether she really was annoyed and panicking or something else or you just have been projecting expected reactions to her.

I also don't see any sign of annoyance in the response of the T as described in the OP. Instead, my reaction to it was that she actually did exactly what she promised: "she would respond once to let me know she was listening".

I never texted much with my therapists apart from scheduling, but emailed a lot. One of them definitely had negative reactions to it, many times. But it was all very inconsistent, sometimes he would say that he did not want me to email / would not engage, other times he engaged quite a lot and said it was fine when I questioned it. I think the whole patterns reflected his hesitation and insecurities far more than anything about me. My other T encouraged emails and never had a negative reaction.

I totally agree with this comment. That is a set up and if a therapist cannot follow through they should just say that.

I agree with this. Maybe you just need to clear up the expectations, bc I don't necessarily think that is a "cold" response.

I agree that my judgements about her actions could be totally based on my projections as thinking it was anything else other than a professional response would be quite unlike her. If it was only based on the text alone I would have perhaps put it down to that and tried to forget about it. It was more based on the combination of the response in the text and her tone in session when I brought up the text. I guess the fact that I was quite reluctant to send the text in the first place and decided to do so only after much deliberation also meant I was going to be highly sensitive to whatever reaction there was.

I appreciate I won't really know the answer until I bring it up which hopefully I will have the courage to do in the next session.

I really also just wanted to know if anything similar had happened to anybody else. Perhaps they have brought it up themselves to their T and discovered it was in fact them projecting or maybe not maybe it was actually that their T panicked for a moment as they thought they were going to get carried away (which may have even happened before) ...

Good point but I definitely wasn't expecting an immediate response. It wasn't immediate either around 2-3 hours later in fact.

When I emailed my T I was a little unsettled by the shortness of his responses and worried that he was annoyed and wanted me to stop. He assured me in session that he was neither. This helped me decide that contacting my T via text or email was best for content questions (like, "what did we discuss was a good way to handle X? I have forgotten," while if I need reassurance or more emotional support, I call to schedule an extra session.

I've never had a negative response, but I have had responses that have just basically said we will discuss it when I see you next, and yes sometimes that has felt negative because it felt like I've opened up about something and it had kind of just been brushed aside.
I then tend to think the worst, but once am in the session and it's brought back up I realise that actually maybe a simple reply was better because the conversation about it in person was definitely the right way forward

It's hard to read a ts tone or meaning from a text and they can do often be misinterpreted. I can understand you being upset or confused by her response. She encouraged you to text and now it feels like she is pulling away. She could of just had a really busy day and didn't have time for a long detailed response and this is why I think ts should not offer anything they can't consistently provide, like outside support.
My t always brought up any texts I sent her during our next session and sometimes she wouldn't even answer my text which was very frustrating or she would misinterpret what I had said or think it was angry or aggressive when really I didn't feel it was. For me I stopped texting her because it always lead to a rupture. Can you bring this up with your t?

Beware of the text message!! I've had a fair few return texts from my T which either one or the other of us have misinterpreted the content. It's not the best way to communicate. I rarely text my T now because of this. We've had 2 major ruptures due to 'misunderstandings' via text.

Totally understand this, I really do....but text is actually the way I communicate best and when I am at my most comfortable. Would love to be able to use it as a medium every now and then.

Yeah, I think you just need to try and be honest. She might not have any idea of the turmoil you went through in sending it, and then your feelings after. I was accused by a friend of being short and curt in texts to him, and I just didn't see it. It was quite dramatic and painful, and in the end he realized he over-reacted and was feeling hurt about things for a few months, but I had no clue. I am not saying your T is anything like this...but it is just so easy for things to be mis-interpreted. I only use text when I really need to hear from my T in a matter of hours or so.

I don't know if you have considered this but the withdrawn/awkward reaction of your T towards discussing your text is possibly simply because she senses she has hurt you and feels bad about it.

She's probably very aware of needy & vulnerable feelings surfacing in therapy (not least because she is a vulnerable human being herself). Perhaps she feels sad that she cannot afford the emotional energy to be warmly caring towards you 24/7.

I am one of those people who is very sensitive to communications and get extremely put off by curt responses, in all areas of life. I often get surprised to find out later that the person who gave me the short response actually appreciated, carefully listened to and remembered what I had said. In other words, its usually my experience that people care more than they initially seem to over text or email.

I have the same apprehension about texting my T that you had and the same issues relating to feeling 'needy'. I can understand why you would feel like you do and probably would have responded very similarly. . . but as many OP suggested some of it may be your projections of what was happening and the only way you will know is by talking about it which you have said you are. Good luck with it hope the talk goes well if you do bring it up.